My Dreams about Dogs

Me: Hi Lawrence! Sorry for disturbing you but these days I had two dreams about dogs.

Last week, I dreamt about a dog that is very annoying, and it really wants to play with me, or just annoy me, and I keep throwing that puppy away but it keeps coming back in every possible way, still annoying as ever. It wasn’t a cute puppy; it’s really irritating. But then some kind of situation required me to be a bit calmer or something, maybe someone was passing by (I couldn’t remember), so I had no choice but to let that puppy be with me. The puppy suddenly became calm and cute when I was petting it.

Last night, I dreamt about my sister’s puppy. It was playing with me. We were just playing happily. I thought that maybe I just missed that dog that’s why I had a dream about it. It was larger than before. I texted by sister about it and she said that the dog has indeed become bigger and taller.

Do any of them mean anything significant? Is a dog related to a friend or something? Thanks a lot! :))

Lawrence: Ruff ruff
Dreaming of the dog is finding someone to love you unconditionally.
It would be great if you really had a dog or any pet to love and love you back.
You may not be into animals but they’re into you.

Being Comfortable around Women

Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants

Being with women makes me feel safe. I guess it’s because I have totally come to terms with my own divine femininity. Also, it’s partly because I have become a feminist over the years, and I have learned to appreciate women’s beauty as a sex. Whenever I travel or commute alone, I want another female passenger to sit beside me. Feeling their feminine essence just comforts me, and I also feel like they’d protect me from the nastiness of the patriarchal society – because whenever male passengers sit beside me, they almost always attempt to sexually harass me (I know you can relate, girls *wink*). They’d usually stare at women with hungry eyes, try to feel their boobs “accidentally,” grope their legs, or even whisper dirty things to their ears. There are just so many chauvinists and ignorant males that lurk everywhere that even those males who look rich, proper, educated, and handsome still take advantage of every woman they set their eyes on in order to blast their contained sperm out.

Honestly, I have only felt totally comfortable around women starting last year. In the earlier months of 2016, I tried forgetting about myself sometimes and avoiding being so self-absorbed. When I did that, bit by bit, my female friends started telling me about their own troubles. Sometimes they even ask for my advice which felt great, because they were making me feel like I am a dependable friend. I started attracting more females in most of my human interactions, when in the past most people who talk to me were males (I was really addicted to romantic relationships back then). When I have begun to accept that life is not all about me, me, me, and I started to try looking at the world through the eyes of my gorgeous female friends, I recognized myself through them. We go through the same things, we feel the same emotions, we have the same needs, and we are all descendants of Lilith and Eve. Only a woman can truly, madly, and deeply understand another woman.

Is it weird that I have only become truly at peace with women and with my own femininity last year? Even though it took me so many years, I am glad that I have finally fully appreciated the divine feminine. Growing up, most girls are taught to compete with other girls (admit it or not) especially when it comes to their beauty, elegance, and attractiveness to the opposite sex. There would always be drama, jealousy, and competition around (immature) women. I know that for centuries, or maybe millennia, it has been that way for women. The patriarchal society pushes women to be that way. In order to secure the best life for herself, a woman must be the most beautiful, so she may be picked by Prince Charming, or whoever is the richest or most powerful man in town. Through the years, women have always been competing for male attention and affection because the patriarchal society mainly values women for their beauty and desirability – that instead of uniting with one another, women see other women as their rivals.

Personally, I was raised in that way also. I was in an unresolvable conflict with my own mother for so many years, and I have always been compared and belittled because of my younger sister. Growing up, I battled for the attention that my younger sister always gets. I didn’t really know why that is. I have almost always finished every grade as the valedictorian in grade school, but the attention was still on my sister. She was still the “better” one. The favored one. Why? The way I see it, it’s because she is popular in school and people just see her as prettier. Some people would even get surprised that we were actually biological sisters. I’ve tried achieving everything that I can, mostly of academic nature, but I still lost to her just because she is popular. Not to brag, but when I went to college and started grooming myself because I have more money now, I became evidently prettier and she even admits to it. For a few years, I took all the glory because of my physical appearance. I was showered more attention by my relatives. Now that I have compensated for my childhood wounds and my petty sibling rivalry with my sister, I started caring less about competition. People’s opinions and comparisons of us did not matter anymore. Being pretty and gaining attention because of it did not make me happy. It didn’t even make me “better” than her. As I was so preoccupied with how I appear to other people, she just went on with her life with her micro-business and achievements in school. I realized that she was so wise for just focusing on herself and her goals of success. It’s not about competing with other women. Because your only competitor is yourself.

I only have one sibling, who is my sister, and that made the comparisons of other people worse. However, life gave me a sister for a reason. I had to grow up with her so I can realize the harsh realities that women live in, and also so I can overcome dark tendencies of women towards each other like envy, insecurity, and competition. I also had to learn how to truly love women and empathize with them as we are all the same deep down. Getting on this stage of great love, acceptance, and compassion for women was not an easy journey. I’ve had conflicts with female friends and acquaintances especially during my puberty age, but that was because they were reflecting my dark sides and attitudes towards women before. Now that I can see almost all women (and even feminine gay men) as my sisters, for they all possess a woman’s soft heart, I now find myself in zero conflict against another woman. They are my source of comfort, and I am always here to comfort them anytime. As my relationships with my sister and my mother were healed, I eventually found myself having greater compassion for other women as well.

All women are very wonderful creatures – and I am very genuine in saying this, because I have found out that no matter if a certain woman is my friend or not, I can still sense the softness and vulnerability in her, her nurturing and giving nature, her beauty, her innocence – and I am talking about the inner nature of a woman, not just the fragility of her body or her external beauty. Women are so receptive and open that they are able to listen to your troubles for hours and immediately offer you a calming solution, which is a hug. They can just give and give and give, and be happy while doing it. They love to look beautiful, and make the world around them also beautiful. They are designed to be soft and passive, externally and internally, as if they remind the world that not all problems in the world can be solved by aggression. Sometimes all it takes is gentleness, acceptance, and a smile. Women (and even gay men) are wonderful and beautiful in that way. Therefore, instead of competing, women can just support one another beautifully, gracefully, and lovingly. J

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