When He Is Not That Into You (But Pretends That He Is)


Hi friends! Well, this is not a positive topic for me to talk about. However, this may be helpful while we are still on a constant search for the right person for our lifetime commitment. And since I am a girl, this is written from a female perspective – the things below are about men and I am not sure if this can apply to women as well. I have wasted so much time in getting involved with the wrong men that I have listed down below the red flags that I would be looking out for in the future. Sometimes these red flags really hit us through our intuition, but most of the time we ignore them because we think we are “in love”. Here they are:

When he likes talking about himself and answering your questions about him but doesn’t ask about you or bother to know anything about your life.

Can you see it? He’s self-absorbed. It’s nice to be open about oneself, but sometimes there is an imbalance. If a man doesn’t bother knowing that much about you, then he is interested in himself, on how handsome and amazing he is, or maybe about how quick he can get you laid. When you are with the right person, you don’t always have to be the listener. You don’t always have to be fawning over the other person while he is not really focused on you. It is a bright red flag when he likes talking so much about himself but then yawns or cuts you off when it is your turn to talk.

When he doesn’t give you that much time and always has excuses why.

Even busy people give the people they love time. Sometimes, women just feel it when they aren’t given much time or attention. If you tell your man about this, and he gets angry at you for being clingy or needy when you really are not – not the man for you. When you really aren’t getting the love that you need even after many times you choose to ignore your gut feeling, remember that it’s okay to let people go. You only have to compromise, not sacrifice and starve yourself of the love that you need. Martyrs aren’t nice to look at.

When he readily gets angry at you for trivial reasons, and blackmails you so you’d stop doubting and suspecting.

To be fair, nobody likes to be suspected of cheating when there really is nothing to suspect about. And nobody likes jealous partners. However, sometimes people pretend to be angry even just after questioning them twice, and makes you look like the bad person for suspecting, when you really are just feeling something fishy and you are sure that it’s not paranoia. Either way, when there are trust issues, you better leave. The right person will make you feel secure with or without effort.

When you feel like he looks down on you a bit and thinks he’s superior to you.

Healthy relationships are for equals, not for narcissists and co-dependents. When your partner looks down on you (look for subtle hints for that), isn’t it obvious that he doesn’t really like or love you? People in relationships admire and complement each other; they don’t put each other down.

When he just disappears for no reason at all.

He might be cheating. A man who genuinely likes you can’t get enough of you.

When he “wants his freedom” and doesn’t want you to have a grasp on him.

This is not a commitment type of guy. He cannot give you the commitment that you want. Instead of just waiting for him to change his mind, leave. He will just use you for fun. And he won’t have a problem with moving on from your relationship too. After all, he did not really invest in it.

When he’s taking you for granted.

This is very obvious, my love. Love yourself and leave.

When he still looks at other women, and thinks they’re amazing while he doesn’t appreciate the goddess that you are.

Fuckin leave. He’s an asshole. And he will not change. Go for men who will value you.

When he’s just mean and nasty towards you.

Then you are not in a good relationship. Release toxic relationships immediately. After that, you will feel like a burden has been taken from your shoulder. Focus on yourself first and the right relationship will come when you are internally okay. As within, so without. 

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