Young Thea's Diary Entry #5: Guy Best Friend Doesn't Approve of My Crush

Image: Giphy.com

November 6, 2008

Dear Diary,

            Hindi ba’t kasasabi ko lang kagabi na parang bestfriends kami ni Philline? Kanina ko lang nalaman, ganun din pala ang nasa isip niya. Nagdodrop lang muna siya sa umpisa ng mga hints: pinakita niya sakin ang bago niyang ballpen. “Nagbili ako ng blue ballpen nung nakita ko na blue ang ballpen mo.” Atsaka sinira niya kasi yung cover ng upuan niya. Ang sabi niya sirain ko rin daw yung akin. Tapos pinakita niya sakin yung sinulat niya sa libro: “PHILLINE AND THEA.”

            Kapag nakikita kaming magkasama, sinasabi ni Coreen at Patrick na bestfriends daw kami ni Philline. Lalo naman si Patrick. Nasasaktan siya. Naaawa tuloy ako sa kanya. Pero sinabi ko kay Patrick na bestfriends parin kami. Pinigilan ko na lang nga ang iyak ko eh. Pwede namang maging BFFs kaming tatlo diba?

            Kanina sa canteen nakasalubong ko si Elljohn. Hindi naman namamansin. Sakto pagpasok ko, saka naman siya lumabas. Ewan ko ba sa kanya, kung umiiwas nga siya sakin. Lagi namang ganyan. Bakit ba kasi siya umiiwas? Ha? Anong ginawa ko?

            Eto talaga. Pinakita sakin ni Patrick yung portfolio ni Elljohn. Pinagtawanan lang namin nila Patrick. Ang totoo kasi, ang pangit. Siguro 1st grading pa yun. TLE. Envelope siya na kulay yellow tapos sa loob may brown envelope. Sa loob ng brown envelope andun nakatambak lahat ng mga outputs niya. Wala man lang prayer, table of contents, reflection, etc. Naawa nga ako imbis na madiri eh. “How poor” pa nga ang comment ni Patrick. Eh diba yung portfolio nagrereflect ng personality ng isang tao? Ito ang pagkaka-analyze ko sa personality niya: medyo iresponsable, lacks creativity, how poor… Pero love ko pa rin siya…

            Kanina nakita ko siya sa lumabas rin sa room nila sa wakas! Pero as usual kasama niya nanaman yung parang bestfriend niya. Nakalimutan ko na, parang Ryan ata yung pangalan nun. At gusto kong malaman kung sino si Jiereck. May kinalaman sila sa Elljohn na yun. Nakita ko parang tinignan ako ni Ryan sabay kalabit tingin si Elljohn.

            Bukas babantayan ko nanaman si Elljohn. Bakit ba kasi magkahiwalay pa ang section namin? I will keep an eye on him… Sige tulog nako… Babush…

XOXO,

Anthea <3 Elljohn 

Image: Thinkpynk.com

November 7, 2008

Dear Diary,

            Nung natapos ang mass kanina, nauna na kami ni Patrick na magpunta sa room…kasama yung mga “Salvenians” kuno. Parang nagpaparinig kasi si Christian, binibigyang-diin niya yung salitang “Salvenian” dahil nasa likod lang namin sila Elljohn. Dumidikit ako kay Patrick dahil alam kong nasa likod ko lang sila. Sana nakaramdam din siya ng konting selos…grr…

            At nakita ko siya nung papunta siya sa canteen sumisilip siya sa room namin. Siguro ako yung hinahanap niya? Wag kang feeler! Eh parang umiiwas nga siya sakin eh…baka makahalata sila…

            Alam mo ba, ito pa ang isang nakakainis. Yung sa YES-O camp, exposure talaga! Nakasulat sa AERO “Anthea Cabrestante” unang-una pa ang maganda kong pangalan! Kasunod agad yung “Patrick Villaos.” Ayon pa nga kay Frank, “Wow, hindi talaga kayo pinagsama ‘noh?” Si Elljohn naman HYDRO. Nakakainis talaga. Di kami magkagrupo.

            Nalilito ako…kasi naman, ang sabi nila, crush daw ako ni Elljohn, samantalang hindi naman ako pinapansin ni Elljohn. Pero hayaan mo na, wala pa namang nakakahalata ehh…si Patrick pa lang naman ang may alam… Bukas may Saturday classes kami, di na kailangang tignan pa ang mga reaksyon nila, eh ganun lang din araw-araw…kumbaga parang si Joel “daw” – MANHID!

Young Thea's Diary Entry #4: Seeing My High School Crush after A Few Days

Image: Giphy.com

October 12, 2008

Dear Diary,

            Excited na ako! Bukas kasi Monday na, makikita ko na yung hero ko! Pero, yung pinoproblema ko yung tungkol sa pag-aaral ko. Sana i-count nila bilang excuse yung pagsali ko ng campus journalism…dahil kung hindi, di na talaga makatarungan yun. Lalo na dun sa science, yung mga wheel and axle na yan!!! Aaahhh!!! Siguro bukas masasabi ko yung tungkol sa aking love adventure…na-miss kaya niya ako? Diba absence makes the heart grow fonder? Sana siya na lang yung best boy buddy ko ehh… Sana lang totoo yung sinabi ni Christian na hahanap siya ng picture…para masigurado ko na!!! Tignan ko lang kung gaano siya kaphotogenic.

Elljohn
<3
Anthea

            Siguro sinusulat niya ito sa mga notebook niya…how come! Hay nako… Minsan hindi ko na maintindihan ang sarili ko eh, parang mas baliw na baliw ako kaysa sa kanya! Pero malay mo, baka tinatago lang niya sa loob niya yung pagkakilig at pagkamiss… Ee nakakakilig…

            Kung sakaling magkatuluyan nga kami, paano kaya ang style ng panliligaw niya sakin? Saan kami magdadate? Kailan kami magpapakasal? Paano kaya ang aming pamumuhay? Ano ang itsura ng baby namin? Aah!

            Sabi ni Mama marami pa raw ang darating sa buhay ko…parang ayoko na nga mangyari yun eh kasi ano pa ba ang hahanapin mo? Gusto niya ako at gusto ko rin siya!

            Ano kaya ang reaksyon niya kapag malaman niyang sa Friday na ang birthday ko? Aasarin kaya siya ng mga kaklase niya? At kikiligin kaya siya?

            Marami talaga ang mga tanong na nabubuo sa maliit kong ulo sapagkat hindi pa naming lubusang kilala ang isa’t-isa. Kailangan nga yata namin ng date eh… Pero parang hindi pa yata ako handa. Kung mangyari man ito ang gusto ko ay private… Paano kung malaman yun ng mga kaklase namin? Makarating sa advisers namin? At lalo na kung makarating kay Ma’am Buenafe!!! Ano na lang ang sasabihin tungkol sa amin? Lalo na sakin na babae? Sasabihin nilang malandi ako? Oh, c’mon! Hay… Kahit ako hindi ko rin alam… Kapalaran na ang bahala diyan…

Anthea

Running through Sticky Mud (Dream)

Image: Gfycat.com

Me: My dream was long, but I felt so fearful about it generally. First, I was in the town where my university is, and I was eating with my friends there. However, the friends that I am eating with do not really exist in real life. I got into a fight (verbally but she was the aggressive one, not me) with a girl eating with us on the table then she started cursing me and my friends. I was really scared, then threats from all over the place started to appear. I really don’t know what made her mad but she was an enemy. But she was really evil so my friends (both men and women) and I were scared of our environment. It felt like anyone can just throw a knife at us from out of the blue.

The boy with us at the table was my crush. Then I found out that he felt the same for me. It was nice despite the threat in our environment, that he returned my romantic feelings.

I and my girlfriends went back to our new boarding house, with Angel (my roommate in real life) also with us. The girl with me told me to pack my things and immediately go away because she already did it. She told me that because the environment was already becoming so toxic. Angel (my roommate in real life) would choose to stay in that boarding house without us. I was already determined to go away but then we had to send back our male friend to his house first.

So we walked to his house, but we did so carefully, as we do not trust the people or the environment. It felt very threatening. We went to the particular street that he lives in and left him there and said goodbye. When me and my girl friend were trying to find our way back, the streets suddenly changed and we felt lost. I was sure that where we were going was right but then we were lost. I was confident in finding our way back again but then we found ourselves suddenly in a forest full of mud. It was already getting scary so we ran. But we cannot run as fast as we can as the forest was full of mud. Full of sticky mud. And that mud prevents us from escaping fast.

And as we were escaping through the muddy forest, an army of girl scouts and eight years old appeared before us, marching and chanting songs. It was creepy. But we still ran through these girls. And then I woke up. What do you think this could mean? I think this is very important. L

L: Hi
This is easy
You’re really running from people in your neighborhood, friends, and family.
The crush thing is your heart wanting to fall in love and it doesn’t happen for whatever reason.
Once you move into your own place in real life things will get better for sure.
All your dreams have your friends in them and also strangers in them. Nothing to fear at all.
I just hope you find work later and move your housing at some point.
Best,
L

Young Thea's Diary Entry #3: When I Saw Again Pandesal Boy Twice

December 12, 2007

Dear Diary,

            Ikukwento ko yung tungkol kay Joseph. Kasi…nakita ko siya sa Capitol!!! You know what? Before it started, naramdaman ko muna yung AURA niya. Lakas kasi eh. Naghahabulan sila ng kaibigan niya. Dalawa lang sila. Lalaki yun ah! Eh naglalakad naman kami ng kapatid ko. Tinignan ko nga yung itsura – SIYA NGA! Nakangiti siya, siyempre naglalaro. Napatigil ako. As in to the point na nakatulala because of shock. Tumigil din siya. Ewan ko ba! Napatingin sakin. Nakangiti parin. Ewan ko siguro hinihintay niyang ako yung gumawa ng first move. Pero di ako gumalaw. Siguro mukhang galit yung mukha ko, ewan ko lang. Tapos unti-unting nawala yung ngiti niya. Parang nawalan yata ng gana. Tapos lumakad na siya. Iniiwasan niya ba ako? Pero, ang nakapagtataka, imbis na matuwa ako dahil nakita ko siya, negative yung feeling ko. At ang isa pang nakapagtataka, imbis na ituloy niyang habulin yung friend niya, lumakad lang siya.. HINDI LUMINGON. What’s this? Misteryo talaga! Wala ngang makapagsagot sa palaisipan na ito eh. Imagine, 9 months kaming hindi nagkita! Ano yun? Nahiya siya dahil may gusto na siya sakin or wala lang talaga siyang gusto sakin?

Anthea

Image: Tenor.com

January 12, 2008

Dear Diary,

        Tagal ko nang di nakasulat noh? Dami talagang nangyari! Sobrang dami! Nung January 5, magkasama kaming dalawa ni Ate Lyn-Lyn. Pumunta kami sa concert ng Callalily sa baybay. Eh gabi na yun. Hindi pa nag-uumpisa, umalis na kami dun. Pumunta kami sa Capitol kasama yung boyfriend niya. Tapos yun, na-bore kami. Umuwi na lang kami. Galing sa Capitol, lalakad kami papuntang palengke. Nung dun na kami banda sa Biochemist, paglingon ko nakita ko si Joseph at yung kapatid niya na tumatawid! Grabe lakas talaga ng aura niya! Basta kakaiba eh, parang laging may nararamdaman ako na konting kakaiba bago ko siya makita. Sana lang I hope he feels the same for me…kasi pag nakikita ko siya, di ko talaga mapigilan nabubuang talaga ako!

            Kaya nung nakita ko siya, kinalabit ko si Ate Lyn-Lyn, tinuro ko sila, tapos sinabi niya nang pagkalakas-lakas, “Bakit? Sino yun? Si Pandesal?” Tapos bigla ko siyang napalo nang malakas katulad ng nagawa ko dati kay Christian pero di ko sinasadya. Sabi ko, “Wag kang maingay!” Tingin ko nakita niya rin ako. Basta kasi malapit lang siya sakin eh atsaka nung paglingon ko nakatingin din siya sakin. Sakin ba? Gabi na kasi yun eh. Hindi ko na alam. Di ako sure. Tapos narinig ko na lang yung kapatid niya parang sinasabihan siya yata ng, “Kuya saan ba talaga tayo pupunta?” Sa tingin ko lang yun ha! Pero ewan ko ba! Sana nga narecognize niya pa yung mukha ko eh… Pero alam ko namang pangit lang ako at di niya ako magugustuhan… Hay… Di ko maintindihan ang sarili ko. Pati siya! Hay! Ang hirap talaga ng sitwasyon ko… Kung pwede ko lang talagang basahin ang isip niya edi sana tapos na ang suliranin ko. Ang kailangan ko lang naman talaga malaman ay kung may gusto ba siya sakin o wala. Atsaka nahihiya siya sakin. Ilang beses na kami nagtitigan! Ah! Nakakakilig! O baka naman…may girlfriend na siya? What?! Hindi pwede!

Eh kasi dapat kung may girlfriend na siya dapat may kasama siyang babae sa paglalakwatsa. Bakit wala? Bakit lalaki? Siguro ako parin ang laman ng isip niya kaya di niya ako magawang ipagpalit sa iba. Ang kapal ng mukha ko! Buti sana kung naging kami…duh… Pero age doesn’t matter naman diba? Feeling ko siya yung true love ko. In other words, SOUL MATE. Kasi kung hindi, bakit pag nandyan siya may nararamdaman akong aura? Atsaka lagi siyang nahihiya sakin. Pero bakit ganun? Pangit naman ako. Pero tignan niya…baka paglaki ko pambato na ko sa Miss Universe.

Nagpunta pala kami kahapon sa dermatologist, si Dr. Catherine Angluben. Ayoko magpaderma kay Dra. Divinagracia, nakakahiya! Anak niya pa naman si Ica. Edi malalaman ng mga kaklase ko na nagpaderma ako! Kakahiya noh! May binigay si Doctora na mga gamot, pero sobrang tagal pa daw ng effect. Hay… Pero at least pag high school na ko makinis na face ko. Maganda na ko. Pero pangit pa rin ako ngayon!!! Lalo nga dumami pimples ko eh! Hmph! Bahala na!

By the way, nasabi ko na ba kung anong regalo yung natanggap ko kay Santa? MP3 player! Tapos, pinanlagyan ko ng mga lahat ng mga favorite songs ko! O diba? Dreams come true!

Always,

Anthea

Young Thea's Diary Entry #2: Random Day during Sixth Grade

Image: Giphy.com

September 7, 2007

Dear Diary,

            I’m back! Dami talagang wonderful events ngayong araw na ‘to. Baka di ko masulat lahat, dami kasi eh!

        Ok, start tayo sa service. Tahimik kami nung una. AS USUAL. Si Marco papansin. Nagapang-chansing! Kala niya di ko halata. Pero di ko siya type ha. Kamukha niya kasi si Tico dun sa Dora the Explorer kasi ba naman sobrang laki ng dalawang ngipin niya sa harap! Ganito kasi yun, nagapang-hawak siya ng kamay ng may kamay tapos nagcocongratulate wala namang dahilan!

           Tapos kanina dinaanan namin si Lyvea. Di ako makapaniwala! Kasi si Lyvea hindi na nagseservice simula nung Grade 5. Eh yun, nung dumating siya parang sumaya ako nang konti. Kasi ganito yung nangyari: May bayabas siyang dala. Kaso dalawa lang. Kinuha ni Christian yung isa tapos yung isa naman kinuha ni Marco. Tapos sabi ni Marco ayaw daw niya. Kaya sabi ni Christian akin na lang daw. Tapos binigay sakin. Inagaw ni Marco sakin tapos biglang…nabitawan ko! Aruy! Kawawa si Marco! Nahulog ba naman sa sahig na marumi tapos gumulung-gulong! HAHAHAHA! Grabeng tawa namin! Yung kay Christian binigay na lang kay Marco. Kumagat siya tapos kain…yum… Tapos sinabi bigla ni Lyvea na hindi pa raw niya pala yun nahuhugasan! Hahaha! Kawawang Marco…

           Moments later in our school service, I heard the song “Paano” by Shamrock. Alam mo yun? Yung song na nagpapaalala sakin kay Joseph (Pandesal Boy)? Walang taong nakaalala nun…

         Nung noon break na namin, sabay-sabay kaming kumain: ako, Coreen, Karen, Eimee, and Kathleen. Magkakatabi rin kami kumain. Biglang…wala lang. Tinawag ko si Alyssa kasi may itatanong ako tungkol sa group work namin sa Religion. Sinamantala naman ni Coreen ang pagkakataon niyang kausapin si Aly. Sabi ni Coreen, “Bestfriend mo si Jeanine noh?” Sabi ni Aly, “Hindi noh!” Tapos sabi naman ni Coreen, “Wooh! Lokohin mo pa ko bistado ka na!” Sabi (sigaw) ni Alyssa, “Hindi nga eh! Wag nga kayo manghusga dyan! Masyado kasi kayong mapanghusga eh! Mabuti pa si ANTHEA!” …Natouch ako sa kanya. Of course!

Anthea

Young Thea's Diary Entry #1: How I Got Obsessed with My High School Crush

Hey! From now on I will start posting some diary entries from ten years ago that I find really interesting. I started writing in a diary when I was eleven years old because as I was going through puberty and adolescence, I had a lot of thoughts that I couldn’t just keep to myself. And I was also old enough to know that telling your secrets to your friends would basically mean that you’re letting them help you expose them to the world. I had this idea because a few days ago, I have thought of throwing out or burning my diaries because I felt ashamed of what I wrote or what I thought of when I was younger. Of course I have also gone through an angsty and rebellious phase so I wrote and acted out on some not-so-nice things. However, I also felt sad about the thought of letting go of some pieces of me when I was more innocent, more trusting, and had less worries in the world. I wanted to immortalize some of my diary entries so I can laugh at them and objectively look at the perspective of a thirteen-year-old Thea who didn’t know any better.

Also, my entries are mostly written in Tagalog because writing in my native tongue translates my thoughts more accurately. Anyway, here is the first diary entry I want to share with you:

Image: Tenor.com

October 26, 2008

Dear Diary,

            Gusto kong malaman mo, ang pangalan ko ay Anthea. Alam mo ba kung sino ang natitipuhan ko sa kasalukuyan? Elljohn ang pangalan niya. Elljohn B. Bonbon. Basta na lang nangyari ito kasi pakiramdam ko nakita ko na siya dati eh. Pamilyar ang mukha niya sakin. Saka ko lang siya napansin nung naglalaro kami. Wala lang. Parang pakiramdam ko type ko lang siya, kasi niloloko ko lang naman ang sarili ko na, “Siya na lang kaya ang pamalit ko kay Marvin?” Pero loko-loko lang yun.

            Nalaman ko ang pangalan niya dahil kay Lyvea. Dumaan lang ako sa may Section B, nag hi sakin si Lyvea. Tapos pinapasok niya ako sa loob. Mag-isa lang siya doon. Nagkamustahan kami. Nagsidatingan isa-isa sila Phea, Blanche, at Hygeia. Mabait sila sakin, kinakausap nila ako. Kung anu-ano ang kinukuwento nila, tungkol sa classroom nila, sa kasamaan ni A!@#, at sa kalandian ni A!@#$%. Eh pakialam ko ba sa nangyayari sa classroom nila…Nang biglang…

            May lalaking sumilip sa pintuan. Siya yung lalaking naging crush ko nung nagbato-bola. Parang nagulat. Tapos pumasok, may kinuha yatang something at umalis. Tahimik bigla sila Hygeia hanggang sa umalis na siya.
           
            Nagpatuloy ang kwentuhan. May nabanggit silang “Elljohn.” Tinanong ko kung sino yun, siyempre hindi ko kilala eh. “Yung lalaking pumasok dito.” Ahh. Elljohn pala ang pangalan niya. At least may clue na ako. Pero hindi ko pa alam nun yung spelling.

            Eh dati kasi sinsabihan ako ni Christian na may nagkakacrush daw sakin na Section B. Hindi ako naniwala tapos kinabukasan (ng sa taas na paragraph) sinabi niya sakin sa sasakyan “Hala Thea may nagkakacrush ba talaga sayo.” Ang sabi ko naman, “Aber, sino pala yun?” “Si Elljohn. Yung lalaking maputi at matangkad?” “Sino yon? Hala hindi ko ba kilala yung mga kaklase niyo. Maliban na lang kay Donald.” Pakipot pa ako kilala ko naman siya. Grabeng saya ko talaga eh pero tinatago ko lang lahat yun. Tapos ayun inaasar na nya ako hanggang sa nahulog na ako nang tuluyan kay Elljohn. Crush ko na siya.

            Iyan ang history kung bakit siya ang naging crush ko. Imbis na sa mga kaklase ko ako magkagusto sa isang Section B pa. Bakit siya? Pwede naman sa iba niyang kaklase bakit ako pa na SECTION A???

XOXO,

Anthea

Friends Are Like Mirrors (Poem)

Friends Are Like Mirrors

Image: Huffingtonpost.com

A vain maiden like me
Has mirrors as her friends
But all the friends we have in life
Are reflective like the mirrors:

The first kind of mirrors
Makes us look like cover girls
With reflections too good to be true
As if being viewed 
Through Instagram filters.

But sometimes,
It is because they perceive us
Through rose-colored glasses --
Pretty and captivating
For they cannot penetrate
Deep enough into our souls.

The second kind of mirrors
Are the brutally honest ones
Which reflect our ugliness,
Emphasize our big pores,
And portray how tired our eyes are.
So in turn,
These mirrors suck our self-esteem out
For they choose to always see
The absolute worst in us.

And just like mirrors from hell
They are untrustworthy
As they may make you perceive yourself
As more distorted
Than you actually are.

Apparently,
These mirrors are green with envy
And the ugliness reflected
Is not your own, but theirs.
But in a false act of love
They would convince you
That you are that monster
To pull you away
From your powerful divine essence.

The third kind of mirrors
Are the most truthful kind,
Showing your whiteheads, scars and all
Yet surprisingly
These mirrors still reflect your own beauty
Perfectly blended
With your own little flaws.
They accept you for who you are
And love you still the same.

They would show your face
To the Evil Queen
When she asks them for the most beauteous.
For even when they spot your weaknesses
They will still think you’re the best,
Their irreplaceable friend,
And the fairest of them all.

--- Anthea Cabrestante

Some Psychic Readings about my Love Life

Image: Giphy.com

October 18, 2016

Me: My ex-boyfriend called about an hour ago to greet me a happy birthday, but he also reminded me of some things in the past. Well, the thing is, I often get ridiculed by people saying that I always pick the wrong person in my love life, saying that they are unattractive, unambitious, or whatever, or that we are not a good pair. I somehow agree with some criticisms; well, most of them are right, so I don’t want to repeat my mistakes again. I don’t want to get disillusioned again and enter relationships without thinking. I don’t want to have regrets again. I have this addiction to relationships to fill my inner emptiness but I am trying to get out of that addiction now so the next time I enter a relationship, I would be genuinely happy and not regret having my next relationship even though I may not marry that person.
I have asked about the same thing over and over again but my question is, am I meant to have a relationship with an equal soon or am I better off single for a looong long time?

L: Hi A
When it comes to relationships, the heart picks who to love. If you get involved but you don’t have a major heart connection, then it will fail somewhere down the road.
I felt like at age 24 you will be with the right commitment person in life.
At least you know your addiction which is good; it’s best to just have girlfriends that you really like around so you don’t feel empty and a need for a man.
I think you will still get involved a few times in the next couple of years.
It’s better to be alone than to be with the wrong person and waste your time in life.
Wait till the heart tells you the truth.
It doesn’t matter what people think when you get involved with someone,
It all depends on what you think and feel about someone.
You don’t need someone’s approval or comments that you’re not seeking to interfere with your relationship.
Usually jealous people look for negative things around you.
Did I help?
Happy birthday again
Best
L

January 31, 2017

Me: L please help me. I am really confused I don’t know what to do. I will attach both my picture and the picture of the man in question.
Should I cut him off my life? I feel like I am a side thing for him, and I don’t think I want that, since I am too possessive and I want my man to be all mine. I am so confused because I don’t want to make another mistake. I want to be with the man I will be with forever and not waste my time with the wrong person. Please help me with this. Thanks a lot. I don’t know whether I’d end things between us or hope for some impossible things to happen.

L: Hi, checked him out.
He is with other women but no commitments, he is into sex too much and can’t be loyal to one person.
I wouldn’t have physical relationship with him.
And it feels like you got involved with someone you really didn’t know.
Move on is the message I got, don’t be with any man for a while, they confuse you too much.
Work on school stuff, and take a break from men if you can.
Best
L :)

            February 7, 2017
           
Me: L…We just blocked each other, why does it hurt? ;( Please tell me that he is deceiving me all this time
           
L: Hi I don’t know what happened, all I can tell you is that he is not right for you as I stated before
Don’t chase this person, let him go. That’s the message I get
Don’t focus on someone who doesn’t focus on you
L

May 30, 2017

Me: Good morning :) I know this is already getting annoying but I’d like to ask, when will I have my next serious relationship?
Recently I was pursued by someone I was really attracted to but then he vanished into thin air. I think I encountered a player and it feels traumatizing. It’s not the first time it happened but I really feel pain in my core and it took a toll on my self-esteem.

L: Hi A
I don’t feel you would have any serious relationship this year
I don’t have the feeling that the right guy is there this year but I feel you getting involved with someone anyway. But it doesn’t feel like love at all, just animal attraction lol – which is fine.
DON’T GET PREGNANT.
Best
L

December 15, 2017

Me: Hi L! I feel like shit lately because I feel like I’ve been dealing with people who don’t value me.
My question is, when will I have my next boyfriend? When will I have that boyfriend who values me genuinely? (Because I think I’ve found a few female friends whose friendships I have proven to be genuine.) I am immature too, but I think I have been dealing with immature guys no matter how much older they are than me. :/

L: When you’re 24 years old you might meet the right guy is the message I got. How old are you now? You told me once.
Don’t worry about other people who don’t value you, JUST VALUE YOURSELF. It’s all that matters.
You don’t have to prove anything to anyone but yourself.
Relax, you’re young and you have a wonderful life ahead of you.
L

Image: Pinterest.com

Psychic Readings on my Dreams about my Love Life

October 8, 2016

Me: I dreamt about being in a dark place and finding my way out but before that I have found Gigi Young, a person who talks about metaphysical and spiritual stuff on Youtube. It feels like she was the light at the end of the tunnel. We chatted and we clicked, and we both agreed that the place had some weird and evil vibes. But then when I was with her I felt kind of safe.
Then I was with a baby whom I was sure not mine, but I loved him very much. I really did. I wanted to hold him and I held him in my dream. I kissed the baby and my mouth pinched the baby’s chin because he was so cute. But then the baby told me that it hurt. He did not cry though. He was really cute, I wanted that baby.
Then the song “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion started playing. The intro instrumental part where there’s…I don’t know if it’s a violin or trumpet or flute…then someone in front of us started drawing on the blackboard in a very creative way. It was really a good drawing with harmonious lines.

L: Hi Miss Dreamer
This is an easy one, my vibes is that you need a relationship with someone maybe just a bit older who is on the spiritual path and who can love you and help you grow emotionally, a mentor type of person for your commitment in life, someone who you can love back and have feelings for having a child with that person.
So a part of your soul wants a commitment with one person who can help you grow in life and spiritual connection. He may be artistic, which would be even more of a turn on for you.
Boys your age are not as spiritual and you don’t connect with them other than physical.
That’s my vibes on it, what do you think?
Best
L

October 30, 2016

Me: I dreamt that I was with a guy whom I had feelings for, and he was being mean to me. I think we were supposed to go together somewhere but he made me cry. I was crying in my dream and his friend noticed it. He wouldn’t believe it at first. He only got concerned when I cried. But I went ahead immediately, I did not wait for him because he hurt me. Then I was in a ship with other people. Another guy was being insensitive again so I tried to ignore him. I was running away from him/them in the ship but I couldn’t run fast although I was really trying. Now the weird part is that when I went to another ship, like we were supposed to, I was greeted by the Philippines’ ex-president, together with other government officials/employees, and they greeted me happy birthday.

L: Hi A
Easy one, government people are people in power. It might mean that successful people is what you are looking for – you get attracted to the wrong men who have no big future ahead of them, then they treat you mean.
You should marry someone in power who also loves you; you can’t be with struggling men in life.
Only those in some kind of power.
Go out with successful men, or those who are like studying to be a doctor, lawyer, etc etc
Hope that helps ;)
L

January 11, 2017

Me: I dreamt that I had a baby, a son, about two years old, and I was always happy to come home to see him. I don’t know how I had him, perhaps accidentally because I didn’t know I had a son. And he is so docile, so sweet, and I always carry him. And I always say to people, “This is my son!” I was really happy with that child.
Then something happened that I could not remember much…I was late while doing my makeup I guess, so my family or the people around me just went ahead, including my son. I was left with my father. When both of us tried to find the way in a dark hallway, I passed by my godfather who looks aged. When my father and I reached the destination there was no people there and it was so dark. So we tried to go back but I woke up.
What could this mean L? I especially want to know about the part where I have a son. I really love him, and he is so comfortable with me, and he loves me too.

L: Hi A
It’s interesting that you didn’t have the father of the child in your dream, almost like he had no purpose other than getting you pregnant and moving on.
I can mean you want to be loved by someone where there’s mutual attraction on a deep level and another part of you loves your freedom, also your father trying to lead you on the right path of your life and has strong emotions for you as a father.
You may want to lead yourself in the future instead of him trying to lead you.
That’s the vibes I pick up in your dreams.
Let me know if I helped

February 15, 2017

Me: Hi L! Forgive me for not remembering my dream too well, but I dreamt that I had a boyfriend and I met his mom. I think I was in love, and he was a bit possessive. Uhm…should I have remembered more details?

L: You can only remember what you remember. Kinda means you might be getting involved with someone new.
Just be careful about pregnancy in your life if you’re not ready for babies.
Always use protection until you’re really in love and both of you make a total commitment.
I don’t feel that guy is here yet
Best
L
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