It's Okay to be Angry.

Admittedly, I resent myself for being angry even when have a reason to be that way. I feel guilt because almost every time that I get angry, people reprimand me or gossip about me. It’s really unfair, now that I think of it. I have every right to be angry especially when my rights are being stepped on, when I am being unfairly aggravated, and when people around me have no consideration of my needs or feelings. Growing up, my mother always has tried to suppress anger that I have felt. It resulted into a behavior of just exploding like an atomic bomb when angered as I grew older. I have this habit of suppressing my anger that it just builds up and it ends up controlling me. While I was growing up, people in my home did not care about why I get angry – they just know that it’s bad for me to get angry (because parents always have the right to get angry), and they are disinterested in whatever got into my nerves. This repression of the right for self-expression began when I was still a toddler. But now that my parents do not have a hold on me anymore (except financially), I have formed a part of my personality wherein I know that I have every right to be angry and that no one has the right to tell me that I am too sensitive or scandalous because of that. I don’t easily get angered like the god of war because I’d like to appear pretty and nice most of the time, but when I do get triggered, the anger that will explode in me is not something that is shallow and fleeting. It is something that sees through the shitty facade and cuts people off (I have my Mars conjunct my Pluto in Scorpio. Pretty intense!).

Anger is a human emotion. When I feel anger, it is something that just arises when there is an injustice or acts of insensitivity around me. I feel anger when people try to put me down purposely, or when they are just being assholes. Basically, I feel reasonable anger. Even when I do not hurt people in the process, I still find myself being gossiped about when I get reasonably angry. It just happens to me all the time. What I think is that these people are of lower vibration, lower understanding, and are not my true friends. These people are the kinds of people that find holes in everyone who is not in their group or who they find threatening in any way. Instead of being accountable for what they have done wrong, they do things like gossiping or whatever in order to manipulate my behavior and make me feel guilty instead for feeling angry. Sometimes it’s a control thing. What I can say is that they have no right to tell or manipulate me what to feel. The only person that they have control of is themselves. This kind of behavior reveals some kind of insecurity to the angered person – perhaps they did not want to face the fact that they would feel guilt if they acknowledged their mistakes so they would turn the situation around and make me look like the bad guy. Shrewd tactic, right?

Okay, what I just want to say is that it’s okay to feel angry. It’s really okay, as long as the reason is very logical. It also depends on how you act on your anger. If you act immaturely, ignoring the person without him/her knowing what angered you, then don’t expect them to ever understand. You are just giving them a reason to stay away from you because that is a very immature behavior. However, if you let them know why in a diplomatic way, or in a way that nobody gets hurt, perhaps they would understand – and improve their behavior eventually. But if you ever encounter people who get angry back at you because you got angry for whatever reason, or they turn the situation around, or they gossip about you and never confront you for it, you can cut ties or limit your time around them. You never want to be around people who have very limited understanding about people. You never want to be around people who are not your true friends, or who do not have intentions to understand you. You do not need further interactions with people who are so self-centered that they cannot be “love” for their friend who experiences negative emotions. And understand that anger is okay, but it doesn’t have to be your default emotion. It is very draining – and you don’t want to be that someone who gives everyone the negative vibes. Rise above your anger so you can see things in higher perspectives. 


Post a Comment

Powered by Blogger.