Mean Boys and Ex-President Aquino (Dream)

Ex-President Noynoy greeted me happy birthday.

Me: Hi Lawrence! I’m loaded with dreams, just tell me when to stop pestering you XD. I dreamt that I was with a guy whom I have feelings for, and he was being mean to me. I think we were supposed to go together somewhere but he made me cry. I was crying in my dream and his friend noticed it. He wouldn’t believe it at first. He only got concerned when I cried. But I went ahead immediately; I did not wait for him because he hurt me. Then, I was suddenly in a ship with other people. Another guy whom I was crushing on was being insensitive to me again, so I tried to really ignore him. I was running away from them in the ship but I couldn’t run fast although I was really trying. Now the weird part is that when I went to another ship, like we were supposed to, I was greeted by the Philippines’s ex-president Benigno Aquino III (the one who preceded our current President Duterte), together with other government officials/employees, and they greeted me happy birthday.

Lawrence: Hi Anthea, easy one: Government people are in power; it might mean that successful people are what you are looking for. You get attracted to the wrong men who have no big future ahead of them – then they treat you mean.
You should marry someone in power who also loves you. You can’t be with struggling men in life.
Only those in some kind of power.
Go out with successful men – or those who are like studying to be a doctor, lawyer, etc.
Hope that helps. :)

Me: Oh yes you are totally right. Guys treat me as if I am not important at all. They take my sweetness for granted but then they resent me for being a snob when I realize that they cannot give me a stable future. Now I realize that all men I have been involved with are not really preparing for their future. Some of them are handsome but are just empty cans who care for external things rather than cultivating their inner selves. All of my ex-boyfriends have no big ambitions – they just want to play computer games (DOTA), drink with their friends, or have one night stands. I remember trying to change them but they just won’t. But I won’t be struggling in the future too, right? When you said “you can’t be with struggling men in life” is it because I am meant to marry a successful one or I just can’t stand on my own feet?

Lawrence: You can stand on your own two feet – but you need security in the future with an ambitious man who will be successful in business of some kind.
Don’t date just for companionship and sexual needs, save yourself for a quality person.

Now that’s my Saturn in the 7th house being played out. My natal chart is already activated. No wonder I resent my ex-boyfriends for being lazy and unambitious. And it’s actually ironic that the less ambitious, intelligent, or responsible the man I was with is, the more he treats me like a doormat. You would think that they would treat me like a goddess for that but they didn’t. Some of them begrudged me because they felt insecure and they were telling me to tone down my “strong personality” a little bit and display my knowledge less. Because of these experiences, I have realized that players (I’m referring to men here) are usually insecure of themselves and they do not know what they want in life. They don’t trust themselves that’s why they can’t be loyal and responsible to one woman. Probably they are using women to cover up the insecurities that they feel inside. While mature, responsible, and successful men, on the other hand, may likely be patient in waiting for their ideal women and may be more loyal and trustworthy because they already feel secure in themselves. Good thing I haven’t given up my virginity yet because I will only give it to the person who deserves it.

Painting the Sky (Dream Meaning)

I had this dream back in September this year and I wrote it down on this blog without consulting any psychic or spiritual person. But this time, I sent this particular dream to a psychic who has been very kind to me because he isn’t charging me anything. This was the dream that I have posted:
In my dream, I remember that there are two older girls who were making me paint some pictures for them. First, they let me paint a pretty sky with clouds that produce lightning. I was just in the process of drawing the lightning bolts when one of the girls made me write her name on the paper. It was “Laguia”. It was a name that I have never heard before. The sky with a lightning on it was also not threatening – it just contained lightning but the sky was really colorful and fun. Then, the two older girls showed me a painting that I was supposed to paint too. When I saw the painting, I was mesmerized and I couldn’t take my eyes off the paper. It was a watercolor painting of the sky with a big, pretty cloud. It was painted in pastel shades of blue, white, and lavender. As I was looking at the lovely painting of the sky, I was pretty sure that I could paint it. After all, the painting style done to the painting was very similar to mine.

I consulted Auntyflo’s dream dictionary and this is what the website has to say about sky dreams:
Seeing the sky in a dream is associated with your sublimeness, state of being majestic, and infinite freedom. Spiritually, the sky is the symbol of infinity and limitless possibilities. The sky refers to your strife for a better life and higher achievements.

In my blog post about this particular dream, I said this about the two girls:
I have googled the name and nothing interesting came up except for Spanish stuff. I think Laguia might be the name of one of my spirit guides and she is helping me at the present moment. Those two girls may be my spirit guides.

It’s just amazing that the hunches that I’ve had and some dream dictionaries online are really accurate in deciphering dreams because this is what my psychic said:
Lawrence: Hi Anthea, this is an easy one. Looking at the sky was mesmerizing to you – it means that you enjoy your freedom very much. The sky is free, nothing can hold the sky, it is always there in the open. 
No one can make you do anything but these girls did. But these girls were there to help you instead of being negative. 
Should I write a book on dreams? Lol  
Me: Lol you should! And I will really buy it hahaha. By the way who are these two girls? Are they spirits? 
Lawrence: They’re your guides, angels. Google angel guides connected to your soul. Now hit the sky lol.

It was funny; although some people may see me as meek and yielding, my family and ex-boyfriends know me best. I am not that way at all. I refuse any commands and I only do what I want even if they threaten me of whatever. My life is also full of obligations but I do not do them in a Virgo way even if I have a Virgo rising. I am also not a 9 to 5 office worker, I really agree with that because I have pondered about that many times (I have a Gemini Midheaven). I am also very Uranian in my natal chart aspect-wise. Mercury and Scorpio is more dominant in my chart but there  are many sextile and trine aspects to my Uranus which also makes me kind of…weird to some people and disobedient to tradition. Anyway, I was glad that he has confirmed that my spirit guides were working with me through my dreams. Perhaps some of my actions were really whispered to me by these lovely feminine guides. I will still have to investigate about angel guides later on. That’s all for now, Namaste! 

Instant Healing (Angel Miracle #2)

Guido Reni's Archangel Michael Tramping Lucifer, 1636.

I’ve wanted to share this for a long time but I only had time to blog this week because of overwhelming school works. I also tried having a long afternoon nap earlier because I couldn’t talk about spiritual stuff when my mind is filled with mundane worries and comment fights on Youtube regarding Philippine politics. I want to share personal experiences with angels although I haven’t been able to see them. It’s just that angels have never failed us. Ask for their help and they will really help in any way that they can. Although nowadays the stench of Christianity or of religion in general is being widely exposed, we can never say that the things that they teach are invalid or nonsensical. There is really no black and white – only gray. I am actually grateful that I have been introduced by my mother to Jesus, Mary, and the angels. My mother taught me how to pray. Even up to this day, this particular teaching of my mother regarding prayers is still with me even though I am a non-practicing Catholic.

When I was a freshman in college, I had very irritable roommates. Because of that I cannot be myself when I’m in the room. I always had to act in caution for fear of “offending” them in even small ways. I swear I thought I was cursed for having been assigned to that room in the dormitory. I didn’t do anything to them and yet they backstab me all the time to their other friends who also knew me. I am not bragging but I think it’s jealousy. And I just happened to be in the wrong company. Anyway, they had an issue about my alarm clock. I had to wake up early every day for my classes and they hate it when they hear my alarm. Instead of talking to me about it, they badmouth me to others. A friend talked to me about me about it and I was butt hurt, of course. I had no choice but to pray every night and ask the angels to wake me up early so I wouldn’t get late for my classes. And guess what, I really woke up early without an alarm clock. It was almost impossible because I am a very big sleeper and it’s hard for me to wake up. Perhaps it’s also because I lack fire in my natal chart. Haha. I’m water- and earth-dominant.

There were many times that I’ve asked for angelic assistance in my life but I couldn’t recount them all. And when there is a big problem that worries me, aside from seeking help from Jesus, Buddha, my dead grandmother, and the spirit guides around me, I also ask help from archangels – mainly Michael and Raphael. One time I went to the city alone, and the travelling time back and forth was four hours. I had to buy things for myself and I encountered a man with sore eyes in the jeepney. When it was time for me to travel back home, my left eye got very itchy, dry, and sandy. I was rubbing it but it only got worse. When I checked my eye in the mirror, I was horrified because I was sure that I got a sore eye. I could already see pus being expelled by my left eye. And because I still had to go to school a day or two after that day, I panicked. I asked Archangel Raphael for instant healing (he is the archangel of healing). And just about thirty minutes later, my left eye was not itchy anymore. I looked at my compact mirror and the soreness in my eye was really gone. From that moment on I haven’t doubted the responsiveness and pure benevolence of the angels. 

Pretty Italian Woman in Past Life

It’s been more than a month since I’ve had my third past life regression. I only posted this now because I have so many responsibilities in school. Before I had a guided past life hypnosis, I asked my higher self to make me remember one past life wherein I was thriving, abundant, and living my heart’s desire. I asked for a buffer life wherein I wasn’t given a hard life; one that is so easy and happy for me. I honestly did not expect what I have seen, because it seemed to me that that kind of identity was innately in me, although I do not show it externally. In this past life, I was a pretty Italian woman in the 1950s Venice.

In this particular past life regression, I knew I was a woman, and a very feminine one, since I felt a surge of lively feminine energy. It was rather vivacious, and I bet I was a Leo during that lifetime. I had that kind of energy. When I looked at my feet, I noticed that I was wearing a floral pair of shoes. Something like doll shoes. I was also wearing a 1950s dress, short-sleeved, something like a balloon dress since there was a petticoat but the dress was only up to my knees. It was very fancy; my fashion style was vintage-y. I had a long straight blonde hair and I wore red lipstick. I was very beautiful. My name starts with the letter “J” but I couldn’t clearly identify what that is. I think I was a Jenny, Jenna, or Jennifer. And I noticed that I was by some kind of a river, and my intuition told me that it was Venice in the 1950s.

It was a really good life for me, I think. I was in my early twenties at that time and I was treated like a movie star. I don’t know if I was one; I just had that kind of life. I was just all-smiles, people everywhere know me, and I smile and wave at them like I’m Madonna. My home was also very fancy – it was glittering with white, gold, and chandeliers, and I had a maid and a butler. And there was also a handsome man who might be my partner or boyfriend, wearing tuxedo. I was a lady and I was treated like a lady. I was beautiful, I had a very attractive partner, I was rich, I didn’t have to work my ass off – It was a pretty easy life. It was nearly perfect and yet it felt like there was still something in me that was unfulfilled. Perhaps it was because I did not see myself having a child in that regression. I was so focused on myself, and the beauty and fame which I was blessed with. But I was really happy with my life – no doubt about that.

I think I understand why that lifetime came up when I asked for a buffer life. I was really thriving and happy and had less worries than I have now. I had an unmistakable innocence, I was kind, happy, and I really lived from my heart. That’s why I thought I might be a Leo during that time lol. A very fulfilled Leo woman. I was not necessarily doing anything, like some kind of important work for humanity – I was just being a beautiful woman in that lifetime. In my brief past life regression, there were no significant life events that I have seen, I did not cry too – which was weird since I have always cried in my past life regressions. I also don’t think I had any child. I was really content with my life back them but there was a tiny bit of emptiness for not having children or having no one to share my abundance with.

 Having reflected on this particular past life, specifically on its relevance to my current life, there is no doubt that that Italian woman was me. It was really me. I might just have chosen a different natal chart or astrological placements for that life, but its soul essence was basically me. We have different personalities – that girl was outgoing and vivacious, while I am shy and reserved. Nonetheless, my love for beauty, attention, and Venusian luxury is still there. I can still feel Jenny inside me especially when it comes to everything that’s feminine and beautiful. She was like Venus personified, and that’s the persona that I really wanted to be. She embodied that. Now I have Venus sextile my ascendant; if I wanted to, I could just switch to that Jenny persona anytime. Namaste.

Lonely in a Crowd (Dream)

Me: Last night I dreamt that I was in a college where my elementary schoolmates and teachers are. But this is a weird school; it’s kind of isolated. I was with my elementary teacher who cares about me and I went to her crying because people are being mean to me in my physical education class. I told her I want to change subjects. Now, as we were finding out what new subject I could get to change the previous one, I met an elementary classmate whom I was infatuated before – but now we are only friends. I noticed that the male students around me wore white tuxedos and pants and they all looked classy. Now this male friend told me to change into a white dress, like that of the southern belles. So I wore the white dress, and it was beautiful. However, the place really felt weird because the students are too few and I feel like nobody can get there easily. What could that mean?

Lawrence: Hi, you let a man tell you what to do by putting on a white dress.
The few people there means there is not enough attention there for you – it’s like being on an island.
It has to be with being with your friends and still feeling alone in that crowd.
Classy men means you like the way men look when they’re dressed up.
So you like fashion.
You might still feel alone in a crowd; you need a good friend not just a lover.
Close friends last forever, lovers don’t.

Did I help?

P.S. Dream on :)

The Heart Picks Who to Love (Psychic Reading)

Me: My ex-boyfriend called about an hour ago to greet me for my birthday, but he also reminded me of some things in the past. Well, the thing is, I always get ridiculed by people – they say that I always pick the wrong boyfriend, saying that they are unattractive, unambitious, or that we are not a good pair. Looking back, I somehow agree; well, most of them are right, so I don’t want to repeat my mistakes again. I have this addiction to relationships to fill my inner emptiness but I am trying to get out of that now so the next time I enter a relationship, I would be genuinely happy and not regret having my next relationship even though I may not marry that person.

I have asked about the same thing over and over but my question is, am I meant to have a relationship with an equal soon or am I better off single for a long time? (I have Saturn in the 7th house)

Lawrence: Hi Anthea
When it comes to relationships the heart picks who to love – if you get involved with someone but you don’t have a major heart connection, it will fail somewhere down the road.
I felt like at age 24 you will be with the right commitment person in life.
At least you know your addiction, which is good. It is best to have girlfriends who really like being around you so you don’t feel empty and a need for a man.
I think you will still meet men whom you will get involved with a few times in the next couple of years.
It is better to be alone than to be with the wrong person and waste your time in life.
Wait till the heart tells you the truth.
It doesn’t matter what people think when you get involved with someone. It all depends on what you think and feel about someone. You don’t need someone’s approval or comments that you’re not seeking to interfere with your relationship. Usually jealous people look for negative things around you.
Did I help?
Happy birthday again.

Cockroaches in my Mouth and Escaping from Abusive Man (Dreams)

Me: I dreamt that I was doing some challenges set by our professors. I was doing fine with the challenges but then a male professor said that I should put some stuff in my mouth and count them afterwards. But eventually, I realized that those were actually cockroaches! It was gross, but they he saying that I should count them and not get distracted. What could that mean?

And last two nights ago I dreamt that I was escaping from someone, an abusive male I think, but then people in my life were determined to take me back. I have done anything to escape and go to another island I think, but then my sister had found me and she had this very creepy smile.

Lawrence: Hi Anthea

Cockroaches in the mouth, to me means that you may be eating some bad food, fried stuff, sugary stuff – things you shouldn’t be eating too much; and your body doesn’t want it anymore and wants you to be aware of what you’re eating. That’s my vibe, not facts.

People who saved you in the second dream are your family. You want them to care for you more as a person and protect you against strangers, watch your back kind of thing. So you may want proof they are there for you in an emergency.

That’s the best I can give ya
Let me know if I helped


Life Purpose (Psychic Reading)


Hello Lawrence?

Am I meant to do different things in this lifetime? I mean career-wise or in service to the world? If not, what should be my main focus? What is my soul meant to learn here?

Thanks a lot, my birthday is coming up :D


Hi Anthea

Happy birthday in two days, it’s coming up, wow still in your early 20s lucky you
You need to be around things related to entertainment –
Acting – through it it feels like you would get the attention you need; you are not a 9 to 5 office worker
But I get the vibes you will be with someone who has money in life so you will be okay :)
It doesn’t matter if you’re shy, just take a class in it and see how it goes for you,
You need people to pay attention to you.

If I was there I’d take you to lunch for your birthday:)


Ideal Life Partner (Dream)

During the night of October 8th, I had a long dream with parts that are hard to connect to each other. It was fragmented and I cannot understand the storyline. I dreamt about being in a dark place and finding my way out – but before I got out of the place, I found Gigi Young near the exit. Gigi Young is a Canadian, a former model, who currently talks about metaphysical and spiritual stuff on Youtube. It felt like she was the light at the end of the tunnel. We chatted and we clicked; and we both agreed that the place had some weird and evil vibes. However, I felt safe when I was with her.

Then, I was with a baby whom I was sure was not mine, but I loved him very much. I really did in my dream. I wanted so much to hold him and I was always holding him in my dream. I was kissing the baby and my mouth pinched the baby’s chin because he was so cute, but then the baby suddenly talked and told me that it hurt. He did not cry though. He was really cute, I wanted that baby.

Then the song “My Heart Will Go On” by Celine Dion started playing – especially the instrumental part at the intro that sounds like being played with a flute. Then someone in front of us started drawing in a blackboard in a very creative way. It was a really good drawing with harmonious lines. Then we started saying, “wow!” to the person who drew in front of us.

I e-mailed this to my psychic friend to help me find out what that dream means although my roommate and I were already suspecting something regarding the dream’s meaning, and this is what he said:

Hi Miss Dreamer,

This is an easy one. My vibes is that you really need a relationship with someone maybe just a bit older, who is on the spiritual path and who can love you and help you grow emotionally, a mentor type of person for your commitment in life, someone who you can love back and have feelings for and having a child with that person.

So a part of your soul wants a commitment with one person who can help you grow in life and have spiritual connection. He may be artistic, which would be even more of a turn on for you.

Boys your age are not as spiritual and you don’t connect with them other than physically.
That’s my vibes on it, what do you think?

Well, I think that he’s super accurate; especially when he said that boys my age are not as spiritual. I really cannot connect with them and they do not care about my thoughts at all. I have so much in my mind that I cannot tell to just anybody, those that I wanted to share with my other half, but so far none of the boys I have been with genuinely care about spirituality and my other metaphysical interests. And although I may say now that I do not need a guy in order to be happy, even by subconscious disagrees with it. Not that I am super dependent and clingy, which is bad, but sharing is innate in my being. I have to share in order to be happy. Perhaps that is one manifestation of having a Libra Sun. I have this intense desire of sharing my love to one being who deserves it. Anyway, at least I know now what my soul wants in a lifetime partner. He has to be spiritual, able to teach me many things, cares for my emotions and not perceiving me as dramatic for having a Cancer Moon, and artistic so he wouldn’t be as dry as those who only use the rational part of their minds. :)

Beautiful Face (Dream)

I had a long dream last night but I only remembered clearly one small part of it. In my dream, I saw a girl I know in real life, a schoolmate here in the University of the Philippines, and I admire her beauty in real life. She has a harmonious and chic face and her body is like that of a model. In my dream, she smiled at me and showed her beautiful dimples which she doesn’t have in real life. Her skin in my dream was also milky smooth, which was rather ten times better than her skin in real life. It was a really beautiful sight. She is a Scorpio, but she looked Venusian in my dream. It was a really beautiful face. I was intrigued by what this meant so I e-mailed my favorite psychic from Los Angeles and this is what he said:

Hi Anthea

It basically means you enjoy people who look beautiful to you, men and women.
It also means you might get obsessed with how you look to other people and want to show your beautiful smile all the time.
If you studied the fashion field, clothing, makeup, etc. you might enjoy it, you might even enjoy modeling clothes.
If you do nothing you look fine to people :)
Keep a journal of your dreams since you’re dreaming more – it’s a good idea.

People see you looking attractive to them, talking about even strangers.
Now get some beauty sleep lol


Now that’s my Venus in 2nd house! I already see it manifesting, since astrologers say that our natal charts are not fully activated until we are 20 or 21 years old. Venus’s placement in the 2nd house means that the native will profit or make money in the beauty field or through marriage. With my Sun and North Node in Libra, I definitely have great ties with beauty. I wanted so bad to possess Venusian beauty and surround myself with luxury. And since the purpose of dreams is for people to follow what their subconscious says, I will probably study beauty someday. Ciao!

Desperation Lowers One's Standards.

A “lack” mindset can lead us to grab on to anything that we can grab on to, just to fill in that inner void and to have a false or temporary sense of security. This “lack” mindset makes us worry about trivial things which results in staying with or sticking to things that are not really for us. This kind of mindset, which goes hand in hand with desperation, leads us far away from our true desires – and as we do that, we definitely lower our standards and settle for less.

Sometimes single people, in their desperation to have someone of the opposite sex to provide romance in their lives, just stick to people who are attracted to them even though they cannot really reciprocate the attraction and affection. The fact that the other person is crazy about them is already enough because it gives them a sense of security, an assurance that they are also loved. These relationships do not last, especially if the couple is not in the same level with each other. These would only lead to disappointment, heartaches, and times wasted. Being with someone for reasons other than love is like being trapped in a golden cage while bragging on to others how lovely and luxurious your shelter is. It is an act of total desperation, an act of lowering one’s standards. Do not mind people who tell you that you are a snob for rejecting someone you do not like. It is better than lowering your standards, pretending that you can learn to love them over time, and being unhappy for the rest of your life.

Sometimes impoverished people just content themselves into being maids, prostitutes, or gangsters because they want easy money and they feel like they are meant to be “inferior” people all their lives. I am not, by any means, saying that these people are indeed inferior. However, they think they are inferior so they do things that are against their principles and desires in order to afford three meals a day. Some of these people, instead of striving to mount higher like a mountain goat, doom themselves into their fate and do absolutely nothing to get themselves what they really deserve.

I am not saying that people who settle for less are absolute idiots. Some people are trapped by inevitable circumstances and by the environment that they are exposed to. In order to grab on to the opportunities that knock on our doors, like, for example, taking higher education despite unlikely circumstances, or being single for a long time to save yourself for the right person despite your fear of being alone, it takes bravery. No one can lend you bravery – you must cultivate it within yourself. And even though other people may bully or spit on your face, it is important to believe in yourself. It is easy to take in the insults of other people because being designed for the three-dimensional earth, humans do not hear how much their ancestors, guardian angels, and spirit guides cheer for them. Sometimes your pets do it too. Perhaps that wonderful stare of a child at your face says that this babe fresh from heaven also believes in your potential to be great or to achieve greatness. Limit your time with people who let you down and look at the other side with rainbows and flowers smiling at you and waiting for you to notice them. 

Happy Birthday to Me! (17 Oct 2016)

I had a very good experience of having my 21st birthday yesterday. For the past few years I have always quietly complained that I don’t feel special enough, that some people did not remember to greet me, that I didn’t gain enough attention, or that people do not care enough that it is my birthday – but I only started being happy when I cared less about these things. It is always better to have no expectations. A former spiritual teacher that I have followed advocated “entitlement,” or feeling entitled to receive something, in order to gain what we wanted to manifest because that was how the law of attraction works. Of course there are also teachings that say that entitlement is destructive, and I agree with the latter. The feeling of entitlement implies that you want to have control over the happenings in your life and it will inevitably lead to feelings of frustration if things do not work out your way. I liked one blog post of Gigi Young entitled “Entitlement is Destructive”, and here are some excerpts of that post:
"…We are blessed to have these things when we do have them, but we are not entitled to them. They will not simply appear out of thin air because we are uncomfortable; just as we cannot change the reflection in the mirror to a smile without first smiling inside…If we feel as though we are in any way entitled to these things, that they should flow to us without any personal alignment, paradigm shift or further work, we essentially block them from our experience entirely."
"Entitlement can become a considerable problem when it comes to our manifestation process and general happiness because frustration, anger and feeling victimized can block out many gifts and opportunities coming our way."
Knowing that most of my friends here aren’t true anyway, and some of them have gone to oblivion, I have given up the expectation of having a wild birthday party. I contented myself into knowing that I have shopped two days before my birthday and have bought every little luxury I could afford (I have Venus in 2nd house). However, before I went to class, a younger coursemate greeted me on the library as I returned a few books and it set my mood for the entire day. I wasn’t close with that girl; but knowing that she respects and likes me as her upperclassman already means a lot to me. Her batchmates used to be distant to my batch but now they approach me without hesitation.

When I entered the classroom for my first subject of the day to report and to pass the papers that I have worked on, a classmate blurted out that it was my birthday. The crowd then suddenly sang the Happy Birthday Song. It was really a thing of joy when the people around you does not harbor hostile feelings on you but recognizes your humanity and relatability to them no matter how different you all are. Starting on the last week of September I guess, Jupiter started to transit my Sun in Libra and it will last all year long. Compared to when Jupiter transited my ascendant last year, I could feel more the benevolent and lucky effects of Jupiter now that it transits my sun. I guess I have become more confident and content with who I am and with my current condition. Well, after they greeted me and our professor entered the classroom, I was the first reporter for that day. I was so happy that all of them were interested with what I have to say and were entertained by my presentation. I really wanted them to understand my part of that report because it feels rewarding for a reporter or a teacher. I plan to be a teacher in college or high school someday (but that would not be my main profession) that’s why I really focus my energy on making my presentations nearly perfect in my perception.

Well, I guess one way of making yourself feel special is making other people happy. I want to keep them entertained and happy if they would permit me to. I guess I was just laughing the whole time I was in school during my birthday even though only a few knew how special that day was to me, because I learned stuff and I had a chance to be with silly groupmates. Anyway, when I came back to my boarding house at four in the afternoon, my roommate surprised me with a chocolate birthday cake. I was really surprised! I wasn’t expecting anything and I did not suspect that the things she was asking me the night before was for her preparation for my birthday surprise. I was really nice, you know. This friend I have by my side really loves me. And having only her on my birthday is already worth more than a birthday party with lots of people. I only want people who genuinely love me by my side.

By nighttime, we went to sing in a karaoke and people loved my voice. I really loved the attention. I feel like I have entertained people and impacted the world in a positive way by satisfying myself through singing. My birthday was a really nice day. It was simple but people who really care for me sent me their messages and love. My foreign friends are also included. It really feels warm in the chest that right now I am teary-eyed as I am typing this. It really pays a lot to be good to other people because they really give you back the appreciation when the time comes. My Jupiter-Sun transit is also helpful I guess, because I feel like I can conquer the world and nothing bad will happen because good people have my back. I also feel strong because I have this deep sense of duty to protect our President Duterte from slanderers who don’t even know politics and social sciences. Not that I am an expert on that, but I understand where he is coming from because of my history classes. Anyway, I have given gratitude to all the people who made my life easier and more beautiful during my birthday. It was possible because for the first time in my life, happiness and contentment really came from inside me. Happy birthday to all people born in the 17th of October, Namaste!

Dreams: World of Symbols

There is something about symbols that creeps me out. Human beings use symbols all the time to communicate; but the symbols that we use are most of the time familiar and have dictionaries of meanings everywhere. Dreams, however, use weird symbols to communicate something to us. Symbols that are surreal, strange, and kind of distorted. Our subconscious, higher selves, or the spirit world definitely have good intentions in giving our dreams to our sleeping selves, but our dreams’ incompatibility to the third dimensional rationality is just so mysterious that it creeps me out all the time. Just a few minutes earlier I have read (but not analyzed or searched the internet for its literary analysis) Jorge Luis Borges’ “The Secret Miracle” and this is one of the passages that have creeped me out:
Toward dawn, he dreamt he had hidden himself in one of the naves of the Clementine Library. A librarian wearing dark glasses asked him: What are you looking for? Hladik answered: God. The Librarian told him: God is in one of the letters on one of the pages of one of the 400,000 volumes of the Clementine. My fathers and the fathers of my fathers have sought after that letter. I've gone blind looking for it. He removed his glasses, and Hladik saw that his eyes were dead.

We always dream but we do not always remember. I, however, often remember my dreams because I have set an intention a few years ago that I would like to remember my dreams because of their spiritual significance. I also over-analyze things, and that’s what makes me want to remember my own dreams. Nevertheless, creepy dreams are creepy. Creepy symbolisms are creepy. Symbols that are too taboo or unusual or kind of “evil” or basically those that we normally don’t want to see don’t fail to give us a feeling of fear when they suddenly surface. Be it in dreams or in literature, symbolisms that have an eerie feeling to them usually hold some unarguable truths in them. Those are the things that are true, but we may not want to see or accept. I don’t exactly know what it is exactly that is in our dreams that is very creepy. Whenever I search dream dictionaries for answers, I always feel like some invisible beings stare at me. They may be benevolent, but I feel like I am touching other dimensions when I try to poke my nose into these things. Anyways, good night, may we all have a peaceful sleep. 
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