Moon in Capricorn

This is from the perspective of someone with a Moon in Cancer.

Being a Moon in Cancer, I attract people with Moon in Capricorn in my life – and they are often very close to me. They are generally good people, but they have their bad sides too that get into my nerves especially because our moon signs are opposite signs. Moon in Capricorns often have little ability to empathize. It’s like all they care about are their goals and the “important” things in life that they do not have time for “trivial” things like emotions. They are repressive, and they hate it when people cry or get angry. Of course they do cry and get angry too, but they just can’t empathize very easily with people who are sensitive, especially those who are expressive with their emotions.

Being a Moon in Cancer, of course it pisses me the fuck off. I had an ex-boyfriend who had a Moon in Capricorn and he was almost too selfish because he could only see the things that are important to him but then he fails to see the needs of others around him. They hate being aggravated by other people but then they kind of deny it when they step on other people. Almost all Moon in Capricorns that I knew have always told me to “stop” whenever I cry or I get angry. As a Moon in Cancer, I just can’t do it. We have big emotional centers that just get flooded with all kinds of emotion, good or bad. When we’re happy, we’re very happy. When we’re sad, we’re very sad. That’s how Moon in Cancers are. Therefore, telling us to “stop” feeling something is just impossible. When I feel negative emotions around those with a Moon in Capricorn, I get nagged instead of being sympathized with. And that only makes matters worse for the Moon in Cancer. The negative emotion just worsens because someone around them tells them that it is “wrong” to feel negative emotions and that they are so stupid to not control it.

Moon in Capricorns are so hard on the inside – but they still feel emotions of course. What I mean is that either they can be ice queens or they can just be emotionally strong in the face of suffering. And that is a good thing. Suppressing negative emotions – which is what Moon in Capricorns do – is bad, but what’s good about it is that they rarely drown in victim mode. Moon in Cancers look externally to find stability, hence the addiction to relationships; but Moon in Capricorns do not easily fall in love. They are not in a rush in love, and they don’t care about being single for a long time. Once I told a Moon in Capricorn that I want to have my next boyfriend because I have been single for already half a year. And the response I got was, “For what? Is it that important?” Being different is not an issue, honestly, but being close-minded regarding differences is. Like what I have said earlier, I have noticed that Moon in Capricorns have little ability to empathize or tolerate people that are different from them.

However, these two moon signs tend to attract each other because they have to balance out their negative sides. Moon in Cancers get attracted to Moon in Capricorns because they want their strength and stability. They are also rational and practical, which can help Moon in Cancers be a bit rational too and not get too caught up in their waters. Moon in Capricorns, however, need to learn from Moon in Cancers that feeling emotions is normal and okay. It is okay to feel. It is okay to cry. It is not embarrassing. It is human nature. They also have to learn how to express emotions because it is a part of being human and to empathize with other people because some people are not as robotic as them. People around them may be more sensitive than they realize. And that is all that I have to say about Moon in Capricorn.

Dream about My Crush

I had a dream last night about a crush that would never ever be mine. I was with him and another female friend that I probably don’t know in my waking life; and we were sitting together, talking and just bonding with each other. But I had a crush on this guy named Ellis (not his true name) who perhaps only sees me as a friend, sister, or kababayan. Lots of girls also like him, or obsesses over him, so it would be pretty pointless to even dream about being with him. When people would leave the two of us for a little while in my dream, we would talk privately and playfully kiss each other’s cheeks. I would make it obvious that I like him and he wouldn’t mind. But he was a busy guy like he was some kind of a celebrity. When he was told that he should get ready because tomorrow was the only time girls could get an autograph of him, I privately told him that maybe I can also get his autograph after he’s finished all of the other girls’. However, he playfully told me that he wouldn’t, because it’s pointless when we’re already being sweet to each other everyday. I have forgotten how the dream ended – but all I know was that even when we were not officially in a relationship in my dream, I knew that his heart was completely mine. I was really assured of it. Now that I’m awake I cannot make sense of the dream because I wasn’t thinking of that person and the dream was completely impossible because we’re not even that close to be with each other always. 

First Encounters with My Extraterrestrial Guides

I was really curious about spirit guides but just a bit about aliens, and so I tried out a guided meditation for meeting our ET spiritual guides made by Gigi Young [download]. Since I don’t have an open third eye chakra and I haven’t had spiritual encounters yet (including ghosts), I tried seeing if a guided meditation would work for me. I did one a year ago; it was about spirit animals. Through that meditation, I found out that my spirit animal was a jaguar. I personally thought that it was accurate because the descriptions for the people who have it as their spirit animal was true for me. I knew it was a jaguar not because I saw it, but because I felt its sleek movement and I searched about it afterwards. All I knew was that it moved like a panther but it had an orangey fur like a tiger. Clairvoyance really is not my greatest strength. xD

Last night, I tried Gigi Young’s First Contact Meditation to connect with our spirit ET guides. It got me all teary-eyed; I felt like I have some alien connections who are waiting for me and are looking out for me. I could not make out their faces but I knew that I had ET friends whom I do not know in this lifetime. When I entered a wooden door with pink streaks in my imagination and went up the elevator, I connected with a being with a long wavy blonde hair. It had a thin crown on its forehead; I was suddenly reminded of Galadriel in The Lord of the Rings. I think it was a long and slender creature. It was pale-skinned although I cannot really see its facial features. I kind of doubted about what I connected with because it seems like a human or an elf. And I did not receive any messages from it. After the meditation, I found out that it was a Nordic Alien.

Earlier during noon, I meditated again because I found myself irritated at the world. Perhaps I was just hungry and tired, but I just wanted to disconnect from here and seek guidance from the etheric world. I meditated again and I entered a white wooden door. I saw someone very tall, a centaur-like creature with blue skin. I did not exactly see it; I just knew. The features of the extraterrestrials I come in contact with just show up one by one. It felt like I was imagining things but I could not have imagined those in my waking life. There would be too much doubts and I would just be frustrated with myself. Anyway, I still haven’t got any messages from the second ET guide. Perhaps I wasn’t ready yet. The two of them just felt very distant. When I awoke from my meditative state, I immediately googled what kind of alien the second one was. It turns out that it was an Andalite. I am still unsure if Andalites are fictional since it is not one of the most famous ETs like the Pleiadians, Sirians, Andromedans, Greys, Reptilians, and Arcturians. Still, I believe that I saw a legit extraterrestrial being. 

These are just baby steps; I am sure that I will be actually connecting with them and communicating. Perhaps my vibration was just not high enough to actually connect with them. For now I am just glad that the internet affirmed that the beings I saw in my meditations so far are real, especially the Nordic Aliens. I will be updating you right away after another encounter. Namaste! 

Pink Aura

So far I’ve been fairly calm this August despite the pressures of academic life. College is still hard, but 2015 definitely has some strange anxious energy that makes everyone go mad. It was so tough for me. I was all alone (literally) and some teachers bully me. Most former friends have also shown their true sides and kind of betrayed me. I have been portrayed as a bitch; basically someone Lilith-like. 2016 has a different kind of energy. Last semester, things got pretty stable and I can say that the first half of the year was definitely a purging period, since I have officially gotten rid of the people who are not beneficial (a.k.a. toxic) to me anymore after that semester. Today, I am in a different place – a cleaner, quieter, and more affectionate place. Perhaps I have changed too, since people treat me slightly differently now. Of course there are still cruel people in this world, but I have found people who treat me dearly even though we are not close. The people who are gossipmongers, manipulative, abusive, and pessimistic are out of my sight now. Plus, no more catcalls.

I have been thinking that I have changed for the past three years. 2013 was a very good year for me, because people thought I was beautiful (but didn’t for the years preceding it) and I have experienced having lots of friends and admirers for the first time. It was a good year socially, but I think I have grown spiritually from 2014 onwards because of having discovered the New Age. It is not a religion, although some spiritual teachers are abusing the new movement into misleading everyone and making their own cult. I really think that I have matured for the past three years. It shows in my face, movements, and personality. Sometimes I think it may just be because of having my moon progress into the sign of Taurus, but perhaps it is mostly because of the hard challenges that I have faced for the past three years. I was all alone. The universe forced me to be alone to combat with my dependent nature. I cannot do things on my own before – but now nobody does all the things for me. I am mostly in charge of my life now.

Therefore, because I thought I have changed a lot and I worry that my attractiveness may have gone into oblivion too, I asked my psychic about the colors of my aura. I have read somewhere that they do change overtime depending on your personal growth and depending on your mood. The same psychic told me in 2014 that my aura was bluish red, which signifies creative energy (blue) and full of energy (red). During that time, I had my progressed moon in Aries so it was interesting that I had a dominant red in my aura. Anyway, this was his answer regarding my present aura color:

My aura is PINK! He said that it turns red when I get angry, which may be the case for all, but I believe that the color red is already inherent in my being because I really feel RED when I am angry ever since I was little. I may attribute it to my Mars in Scorpio, but even though people may see me as soft or something, I really feel powerful inside. And that power is either attracting or repelling, just like people with red color auras. When my aura was still red, I found that people were either totally attracted or totally disliking me. It was always either of the extremes. My temper back then was scorching hot, and I always had female enemies. However, right now it feels like everything turned mellow – I’ve developed compassion for people and I am not as attention-seeking as before. Red, for me, is a very dense color that may represent an egoistic individual. Whereas I thought of everyone as separate or different from me before, right now I could think of how everyone is just like me. Except for people who are really bad, I could see the good things in most people. And how they struggle in life just like me.

My psychic told me that pink represents my loving and compassionate nature, but I still googled what a pink aura means so I could see more definitions in different perspectives. A person with pink aura is loving and giving by nature. They love to be loved in return, for they are soft and romantic people who lean on the gentler and nicer side of life. They are selfless people who will go and help people even at their expense. They are highly sensitive to the needs of other people. Some sites say that people with pink auras have strong psychic abilities. I kind of doubt it, because I am not clairvoyant or whatever. I do not even know who my spirit guides are. However, I dream a lot. I do not know what they mean but I get a little idea about their meanings. Most of my dreams are prophetic and some reveals secrets that people do not really say to me. I am not clairaudient either, but I always hear ringing in my ears, which, according to some spiritual teachers, are indicators that there is a high-frequency spirit near you. However, I can say that I am a little bit of a claircognizant, since whenever I want answers to my questions, wise things just pop up in my mind. Those things can be easily mistaken to be my own thoughts, but they may really be just divine guidance from the universe or from my spirit guides. Anyway I believe that my grandmother (my father’s mother) is one of my spirit guides.

People with pink auras have great imaginations, and they can make great artists. And yes, I do lean on the artistic side. It is where I am comfortable. Perhaps it is because of my Mercury in Libra in the 1st house and my Sun and North Node in Libra in the 2nd house. Websites say that people with pink auras have achieved a perfect balance between the spiritual and the material existence. Most of them say that pink auras are very rare in Earth though. And that’s what makes me feel special aside from the fact that pink is my favorite color! Pink is always associated with love, and vibrates at the same frequency as green, because it represents the heart chakra. From what I understand, people with pink auras have very open hearts and they often feel love and joy and magic as a result. I felt very happy knowing this because all my life, I have always followed my heart and defending it from people. People say that thinking is for the mind but I just feel deep inside that it is wrong. I kind of knew that love was my true nature and I feel happier in loving other people than loving only myself. People with pink auras are also said to radiate gentle and loving energy to everyone they come in contact with. They can uplift and heal people just by their glances, smiles, and kind words. They remind everyone that there is still gentleness and love left in the Earth despite the countless wars and horrible things happening around the planet.

Knowing that I have a pink aura is very rewarding. To all the people who said that I must be strong and I should stop being soft and sensitive, obviously I did not heed your discouragement. And to all the people who believed that I was strong deep inside, and that I must not stop being soft, thank you. This is all because of the external challenges that made me grow inside and the spiritual insights shared by some spiritual teachers or intuitives on Youtube with the same kind of energy. No wonder people just treat me kindly like a dear child nowadays. Our external reality really reflects our internal reality. Namaste!


Getting Away from Creepy Stalker (Dream)

I had a very weird dream. My dream was long and has many parts but I only remember one. Someone was so obsessed with me and I don’t remember where I met him. Every time he sees me in person, I avoid him because he is not my type but I am obviously his type. He’s just so disgusting; we’re pretty much not in the same level that’s why I am not attracted to him but he’s turned into a stalker who would text me all the time until I have blocked his number. When he could not contact me anymore, he started texting all of my friends about me. And then they would all tell me about it which results in me freaking out. I knew he was just in the corner, probably watching. Or tracing where I go and doing whatever he could do to spy on me. And so, out of desperation I went to my ex-boyfriend O (not the latest ex but my boyfriend of 1.5 years) and asked him to take me again. I wanted us to be together again not because I still love him but to shoo my stalker away. There was no love left between us so I knew that it was impossible. Nevertheless, I started kissing him. It was a long, passionate kiss that made the people around us stare. Even after the kiss, people stared as if we did something wrong. This tactic did not work; because shortly after that, my stalker appeared to me again and started physically chasing me. He was really really disgusting although some people might not see him that way. I just hate the feeling of having someone I do not like continually obsess with me and try to make me his. It makes me puke.

UPDATE: (13 Aug 2016)

I really did block someone's number yesterday. I met that guy at the airport and he was trying to be charming and all, but he was not my type. I may have liked him if he had a good intention but I was feeling that something's really strange at that time. And the fact that he was so aggressive made me think that he was a playboy with a low self-esteem. Also, he was a liar - he was saying so much nonsense just to impress me or to make me think that we are on the same level. Then he started texting me after three weeks, saying that he doesn't remember where he met me and yet he called me by my name. What a liar. Style mo bulok. He couldn't even remember correct facts about me and that insulted me. I felt like he was treating me like a booty call. Sorry fuckboy, but I don't smell good intentions from you. And you're not even cute. He was so stubborn and sloppy; he won't tell who he is. He just told me that he was Roy when I told him that I was about to block his number. What a stupid immature man. Jejemon. A guy who really likes you and has pure intentions would introduce himself politely. He was an asshole. I felt like he wanted to get intimate right away because he wanted us to be seatmates on the plane and he offered me a ride. Luckily I refused. Douchebags are really all over the place. Or "scrubs" (TLC's song). 

I Wish I Was A Capricorn

I wish I was a Capricorn that strives to get to the top whatever it takes. I wish it was in my personality to really compete with my old self and be Saturnian so that I wouldn’t flip out whenever I get Saturnian lessons in my life out of the blue or when my Saturn return comes when I’m twenty-eight. My personal placements, which are the ascendant, sun, and moon, are ruled by Venus, Mercury, and the Moon. Therefore, I care mostly about beauty, social acceptance, filling my curiosity, and feeling deep emotions whenever I get triggered. If there were Capricorn placements in my chart, those are Uranus and Neptune in Capricorn conjuncting each other – but the effects on me are very subtle, if any at all, because Uranus and Neptune are generational planets. I don’t even know what both placements are supposed to mean. I am almost twenty-one, and I am now in a period of life wherein I need to get really serious and face all the shit that I fear – therefore, I mourn the lack of Capricorn in my personal placements. Whenever I think of all the friends that I have that have either their Suns or Moons in Capricorn, I wistfully say to myself, “Why can’t I be as determined and persistent and ambitious as them?”

Virgo plays a dominant role in my personality because it is my ascendant. Virgo, being an earth sign ruled by Mercury, is good because it makes me so focused on the smallest details and makes me aware of the smallest shit that need to be done. Because of the Virgo ascendant, I stick to routines and rules that help me improve myself with regards to health and beauty. It makes me prone to make to-do lists that organize my life. And because of this, I cannot truly understand Pisces- or Neptune-dominant people. Their heads are up in the clouds and they cannot see reality for what it really is. Although they are very nice people who actually have unconditional love for you, I don’t like it when people complain all the time without actually “doing” anything about it. I actually initially wanted a Libra rising for its charm and beauty benefits, but now I start to appreciate an earth rising for its practicality and stability. Virgo has a very bad reputation in the astrological field, but why dislike the sign that is all about improving everything every single time? Why dislike the sign that is all about purity, cleanliness, and productivity? J Think Hermione. She is the perfect example of what a Virgo ascendant is like.

However, I feel like having my Virgo also has its setbacks. Since it is focused on the smallest details, when I focus on the negative and start to feel fearful, I automatically see the smallest things that would make my fear even bigger. So instead of doing something about it like I usually do when I am not fearful, I escape and distract myself and become rather Piscean. Sometimes it’s amazing how we embody the traits of our 7th house cusp. I am not really sure why, but perhaps our 7th house embodies our shadow sides that we are afraid to look at. Right now, I am struggling to be productive and to finish that one thing that is the main obstruction for me to graduate in college. I start watching videos about Saturn, wishing that by doing it, I could inhale even a bit of Saturn’s energy. I wish I could discipline myself like Saturn does. But no, my Saturn is in Pisces. My father was an escapist, an alcoholic that didn’t want to get his hands dirty by taking care of his two babies. He and my mother expected that I would rather grow up on my own and learn lessons on my own without any of their guidance and instructions. It was a tough and structure-less childhood. So right now, I am desperately wanting to have a grasp on anything or anyone Saturnian, just so I can set my life straight. I have so many dreams but the chaos brought about by my Saturn in Pisces just makes me freeze and not do anything about it because of fear. That’s why I wish I was a Capricorn. 
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