Zodiac Seasons

I can see the way the astrological seasons influence my life in a big way. It is like watching the moon for Wiccans, noting their phases or the zodiac signs the current full moon is in – and from there they would decide what spells they would use to manifest on this third dimensional plane. When it’s Capricorn season, I feel like I had to do something productive; I feel compelled to do a New Year’s resolution that I would be doing for a whole month but then it changes when it’s Aquarius season. I would definitely abhor any kind of routine, there’s a sudden mental surge that comes through me and goes out through my fingertips, to the keyboard and to the paper -- yet I still couldn’t grasp what exactly happens to me, it’s kind of abstract and stubborn. And when it was Pisces season during this year, I met someone very special to my eyes, and we had a whimsical romance that was forbidden but permitted by the forces of nature. And so we felt like we were on the clouds of the mountaintops, or beneath with the coral reefs that hide us from people that are against our relationship. I was so in love with my own delusions, my own ideals of him, that when the Aries season came, he was suddenly naked, he couldn’t face me anymore, and the truth about his insincerity surfaced so I slowly burned with my wrath for him. And yet he continued to fool me with Neptune’s confusing mist, but Mars the god of war was already ruling the month so I stood up for myself and lashed out on the selfish lad. I faced challenges alone, self-centered yet self-loving, after I severed ties with the one whom I was in love with when Pisces clouded my logical mind. When the Taurus season came, I started doing things for my stability: getting ready to move to a cleaner boarding house, finishing my papers and studies for the semester, and doing beauty routines at night. It was kind of a boring and predictable month, but then the Gemini season came and I found myself interacting energetically with the world around me, with my friends and family, although I was detached to the closeness and warmth that I should be feeling. I was spewing out words of wit that make people laugh, and the atmosphere everywhere was just so full of chatter. I was comfortable with reading so many academic books then but when the Cancer season came, I suddenly felt lazy to do that so I picked up fantasy books of Neil Gaiman instead. I became absorbed in my own seabed of daydreams, reaching back to Neptune to further enrich the imaginations, and yet I was also drowning in the dark waters of the past. I found myself in bursting conflicts with the mother who nurtured me; so I cursed the moon who pulled me back from the emotional chaos that I was trying to escape from. My early childhood pain harshly inflicted by Chiron and Pluto started to get sore again, so now I find myself being a hermit once more, self-pitying, wallowing from the pain, and hesitating whether or not I should avenge my poor self. And as I am working inward and trying to lick my wounds during this Cancer season, I impatiently wish that it would be Leo season right away, so I could come back to the world again, shining brightly and prettily like the sun in the morning. 


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