Boyfriend


Last night, I had a scary dream. It was long but it featured my ex-boyfriend and in my dream he was so obsessive and he hired some boys to kidnap me so he would have me all to himself. It was so scary because he has gone crazy, the drooling kind of crazy, and angry at the same time because he couldn’t accept that I already left him. I tried my best to escape – and although I have escaped many times from those hideous boys, they kept coming back. He seemed really hungry and vengeful. He was a monster. In real life he doesn’t communicate with me anymore, but he is still eager to talk to me when I talk to him first. He admitted that he still likes me, that he still wanted our relationship to work out, that he wants to see me so badly, but I don’t want it anymore. It doesn’t mean that I always lose interest easily; I was just unhappy with our relationship because we are on different levels and we keep on clashing and I felt like he was just not enough. And I don’t want any more of the halitosis, the poor hygiene, the lack of ambition, the delusions, the insecurity and inferiority complex, the fearful nature, etc. I felt like he was not enough for me because he cannot take care of himself first. I could really feel deep down that he also felt that he was not enough for me but he just shrugged it off because he was so attracted to me. But it’s not how it works. The failed relationship made me learn that it is so important that your partner is not less, or too much, but just right for you. You have to be on the same level to understand each other.

Now I badly want to have a new boyfriend, a new romance that will thrill me and make me so inspired to finish my thesis and graduate happily. There are so many placements in my natal chart that emphasize a “relationship theme,” like having my Sun in Libra and my North Node in Libra conjuncting it, and having my Saturn in the 7th house. I think I am going to write a separate post about the Saturn in the 7th house and my experiences with it so far – but basically, Saturn being placed in one’s 7th house means that you have to balance out karma when it comes to relationships. I have to learn something through relationships. Perhaps I was too selfish before and I betrayed lots of people or romantic partners (I have my South Node in Aries). Whatever that is, Saturn makes me suffer and work hard a lot when it comes to relationships. I always attract the wrong men, men who deceive and betray me, and men who abuse me. One astrologer said that it’s just a payback for being relationship assholes in past lives. Anyway, even though I may rant forever about love and relationships, I just always feel this deep need for a partner. I always want someone to fall in love with. It’s just the way I am. And I can’t wait for that next special someone.

I asked my psychic about my next relationship and some clues about who this person is, and here is the brief answer that I got since it was only a free monthly question and not a paid session:

(click to see it better)

You see, it left me much more curious! I have been attending the university for four years now and yet he said that that person is still unknown to me. He better be good looking! And ever since I got that reply, I have been ignoring some persistent admirers whom I do not like at all. Before, I have this behavior that I get friendly to men who befriend me. And even though I sense some interest and I do not feel the same way, I still am friendly just because I do not like feeling lonely. Sometimes I agree to be the girlfriend of men whom I pity because they put in a lot of effort in courting me. But at least now I know that I should just be with the guy that I like a lot, and not be with just anyone just because they were the ones available at the moment. Saturn in the 7th house definitely makes the native learn more about relationships, often through the hard way. And it just gets better with time. I will be waiting on September, and I will update both the blog and the psychic if the prediction is indeed true. I wish you a happy love life too. Namaste!

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