An Angel's Miracle #1

Archangel Raphael

It has been a tough week for me, since I fought with my sensitive mother, a Cancerian in its lower form, wherein she is so sensitive only when it comes to herself, and not when it comes to the feelings of others. Seeing her so frail when she sleeps makes me feel bad about our wretched relationship, but her sensitivity does not excuse her for the bad things that she does to me. I am very sensitive as well, and I love people so much except when they give me a taste of their betrayal. And as long as she prevents herself from being accountable for the wounds she causes her children, I will never ever shut up and suppress my feelings.

Until last night, I was still very angry. I ran back and forth between forgiveness and feeling hurt. I always find myself feeding my anger and although it makes me feel powerful, it also makes me feel powerless, as I realized that I still have three weeks of being stuck here in this house. I always watch videos that are spiritual and supernatural in nature, so I have seen several videos about angels. I have seen Jannecke Oinaes’s interview of Diana Cooper about the angels, and I felt so inspired and loved by the messages there. Cooper said that we all have our guardian angels throughout our lives, and they still love us even though we do bad things because they understand that we have free will and that we live in duality in a very dense planet. Having this in my mind last night, I “tried” the existence of these angels.

“My angel, if ever I really have one by my side, please help me through this chaos. I do not have specific instructions, just please help me in any way that you can.” After that, I just let go. I turned my attention to Jenna Marbles and Julien Solomita’s podcasts on Youtube, listening to their silly dog stories and childhood stories and laughing with them. Just before I asked for an angel’s help, my mind was filled with dark thoughts like murder and whatnot. Just so dark and nasty and sinister. Time passed, I guess thirty minutes, or maybe an hour of chewing on a vegan burger, I was inspired to write about the whole experience of fighting again with my mother and I hugged her eventually, not because I totally forgave her, but because I wanted to get some of her energy and some inspiration to write the things that I needed to write. I knew that my heart chakra was recovering at that time. I never thought of putting my feelings into writing the whole time that I was angry. And then I woke up peacefully, healed of what had happened, and I think my angel just worked through my heart chakra, sending me its love and understanding, and turning my experience and emotions into something creative. And that, my friends, is my testimony of how an angel helped me. J

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