My Disappointment after Reading Sarb Swan's "The Black Swan" Post (about Teal Swan)


For the past two years, the one dominant figure in my spiritual conquests had always been Teal Swan. I accidentally came across her video about the divine feminine and I have been enlightened since. I’ve stopped adhering to any religious institutions even before I’ve discovered any “New Age” stuff – so when I discovered her Youtube channel, I was bewitched. Firstly, because of her spiritual knowledge; and secondly, because of her supernatural beauty. She was really, really blessed. I really resonated with all of her teachings and I accepted everything that she said as truth, to the point that I have already unconsciously elevated her into an authority figure in my mind. I just realized by now that it was close to being in a cult wherein she is the leader. I am not accusing her of being a cult leader; she is just close to being one because of all these unrealistic adorations and putting her high up into the pedestal like an ancient goddess.


And aside from her Youtube channel, I also read her blog regularly. She has a pretty crazy life and she unashamedly posts about it online. Along with her confessions, she also has some amazing insights about life and spirituality. And among all of her blog posts, the one that has devastated me the most was when she posted that she and Sarbdeep (her ex-husband) had already separated. I really felt bad because I like Sarbdeep so much. He is not celebrity-handsome, but royally handsome like some kind of an Indian prince from the ancient times. I felt his gentle soul, and in some ways we are similar because I can sense his endurance and patience underneath his quiet demeanor. And although he is gentle, he is clearly not stupid. I felt bad about his divorce with Teal because it seems like they are the only ones that will perfectly match each other in the world. But maybe not. Maybe not, after I have read Sarb’s post about Teal, entitled “The Black Swan”. And I must admit that before Sarb posted anything, I didn’t think that the cause of their separation was very deep (how shallow of me lol). I have sided with Teal before because she was the only one who didn’t keep quiet regarding the situation.

The Black Swan post of Sarbdeep was very shocking. He, being Teal’s ex-husband, has painted her in a way that was not in line with my perfect idea of her. Yes, Teal always says in her interviews that she has lots of shadows and that she is crazier than she appears to be, but it did not prevent me from being surprised about Sarb’s opinion of her and their failed marriage. You can read the blog post here; but meanwhile, here are some excerpts from the blog post:

“It seems she has no concern or care for the feelings of others and their experience in this whole tawdry saga, only for a self-righteous crusade preaching ‘authenticity’, which is ironic when you know the truth of this situation. But here is the sting for her: The very ‘fame’ Black Swan uses to attack and vilify others will turn on her, it already is doing so…fame is a very disloyal friend.”
“Our marriage did not ‘unravel’ after 2 weeks due to incompatibility or my ‘emotional unavailability’, but because I saw an email Black Swan had sent to her ex just 2 weeks into our marriage talking about the sex she had with him and flirting with him. An ex she also vilified as a ‘sociopath’, months before on her blog. When I read this I felt something within me tear and I realised that I’d made a mistake in marrying her. She was not the person I had thought she was, and at the time we were in California to meet her publisher.”

My heart also breaks for Sarbdeep. But yes, as I was reading Teal’s blog months ago, it seems as if the two of them were just incompatible because Teal was emotionally showy while Sarbdeep was not. However, after reading this, Sarb seems to be really more vulnerable inside and just becomes cold as his defense mechanism. I knew Teal has a flirty side to her, being a Gemini (oops, just generalizing Geminis :p) and being made up of mostly air.
“She will do anything to achieve fame and an affair or infidelity (unless it happens to her) is insignificant.”

Teal is open about her desires for abundance and fame, but this is too much. I really feel bad for Sarbdeep.
“But of course when I flirted online with an old friend in London she was ‘devastated’. I did this sitting next to her, she ‘caught’ me and I wanted her to feel what it was like, perhaps this would make her understand the effect of this behaviour, but all it did was expose her selfishness and narcissism, as it was one rule for her and one for everyone else. There were many, many other instances.”
“I am not ‘emotionally unavailable’, as published on her blogs. I had closed off to Black Swan as to have been emotionally vulnerable with her would be suicide. I had committed to a woman I had expected to have been my wife for the rest of my life. I went in knowing she had many problems and issues and had made a conscious decision to be there for her, a rock in the storminess of life, and her life in particular. What I did not expect was a constant undermining of myself, both public and private, and using her ‘community members’ to interfere in our marriage. Trying to charm then manipulate, then abuse and then finally use victimhood to get her way. All this was while I was watching over her so she can deliver on her ‘mission’.”

I am sorry but this is just a personal opinion, but our spiritual teacher shows signs of narcissism (like some people that I know). Sarb, after exposing his side to the world, will now have lots of people who understand him. I also feel bad, not because of Sarbdeep again, but because I have also cheated on my ex-boyfriend although I love him – just because I felt understood and because I felt like my needs of love and care were not fully met. I also have this tendency to cheat because I have a very low self-esteem. Before, I thought that having lots of male attention meant that I was the most beautiful girl in the world. But I was wrong. Most of them just wanted to sexually take advantage of me. And while I was being constantly lured into their trap, I was hurting the man who loved me the most.
“Fast forward to mid June and it was clear that we were not going to work, as on a personal level I didn’t like her, I hated her ego and her narcissism, her self-obsession with her ‘emotions’ and ‘feelings’ as if nothing else mattered and no one else had emotions and feelings. I didn’t trust her anymore and I was rapidly losing respect for her.”  
“A close friend who had believed in our union had worked out that she was now seeing Gecko, he told her ‘you tell Sarb, or I will’. I racked my brains to think who she could be with and it felt cheap and tasteless that we hadn’t even filed for divorce let alone signed the paperwork and her legs had already flown open. But, sadly I can’t say I was surprised.”  
“The real problem in the context of this situation is that she loves attention and adoration from wherever it comes and I could not and did not want to do anything about that. I just had to make a decision whether this was what I wanted in my life, and as you have gathered the answer is a definitive No.”
“I had expected us to have been friends and remain on good terms for the rest of our lives and feel sad for her in her illness, but she has been so nasty and manipulative to me and others I have decided to step forward with this blog now, as it has been nearly a year since I left Utah and I am still being attacked, directly and indirectly. If she were just able to get on with her life without vilifying me I would not have written this blog, and the others that will follow. I’m also horrified how Gecko’s ex wife has been treated by him and Black Swan, why attack a mother of two kids who is rebuilding her life? That lady has been very dignified and noble in her silence. I think it is shameful to use a public platform, especially one intended to share spiritual teachings as a weapon to attack others.”

I wish I could comfort Sarb when he was crying, but he is in another country and is about twenty years older than me, I think. There is no way I could be chosen to be his next wife. Hahaha! Sarb is really attractive and I wish I had Teal’s luck to also marry a man like him.


After I have read Sarb’s blog, I was really confused and sad. I don’t know who to believe anymore. Because I got convinced that I have followed a narcissistic guru. And to confirm this, I watched Gigi Young’s video entitled “5 Signs YourSpiritual Teacher May Be a Narcissist”. And these are some Gigi notes that I have written down:
“For a narcissist, the spiritual community is the perfect place. It’s the perfect place to angle yourself to be. Why? Because of all the narcissistic supply that you can have.”  
“So, just because someone is able to talk about the eleventh dimensions of time and space, or of how to heal your heart, or spirit guides, or whatever spiritual concept it is, doesn’t mean that they’re actually spiritually connected at all.”

“The first [quality] is that they are special, and have more abilities than you. Or, they have more direct access to Source.”  
“If you feel like someone is a narcissistic person leading a cult or trying to form that, trying to form a very distinct spiritual circle for their own narcissistic supply, they will give you information and insight but there will be an air of being different or special. There will be something special about them that no one else can really do or can offer you. Even if they say that they’re all one, and that you can rise to be anything that you want and that you are free, there will always be an undertone no matter how subtle it is, that they have more access to spirit than you, or they were simply born different, and oftentimes they have a very direct mission that they have to do because they’re special. Because they’re born with this. And this is where you sense a narcissistic ego right there. It’s right there.” 
“They have to be the best. They have to be the one who has supreme knowledge. They will also accuse other people of copying them; they will think that somebody else who is talking about spirituality is copying them. Because again they have to be supreme and anybody who is talking about spirituality 'must be copying my work or me'. Which is ironic because actually many spiritual teachers who have NPD don’t use their own original material; much of the processes they use and material they use are actually taken from ancient religions, or other teachers, or other texts. So there is that mirroring again where they themselves don’t have that access to spirit to necessarily have their own perspective on things, so they take it from someone else and they assume that everybody else is copying.”  
“A narcissistic person will seek pity. And this is odd. As we think people with NPD are full of ego and would be beyond pity and pity would be embarrassing. But this is actually a very clever defense mechanism…Being a wounded baby bird allows you to not take responsibility for your actions…It keeps their inner circle and followers highly protective of them.”  

At the end of the day, I realized that something that we believe right now might be altered or proven false in the future, and that nobody should ever be put in a pedestal for their “special” qualities, because all living beings are equal. We all came from one Source, so we must not undermine ourselves or think that other beings who were blessed with sixth senses are better or more favored by the universe. And whether Teal is a narcissist or not doesn’t matter. That is her own issue to overcome. I have also had lots of narcissistic ex-friends and I just distanced myself from them because they’re starting to take advantage of my kindness – they were already purposely lowering my self-esteem in order to make themselves look bigger. These people are toxic. So Sarbdeep, my dear friend, if you feel like leaving Teal is the right choice for you, I support you for that. And Teal, thank you for being a catalyst for my spiritual enlightenment. I am not judging you. But although we are alike in many ways, my sympathy for now goes for Sarbdeep. I love you both. And I wish you both happiness. xoxo

30 comments:

  1. http://thetruthaboutcameron.blogspot.co.nz/2015/10/the-complete-interview-of-teal-swans.html

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I am glad i have read this, one of the most eye opening blogs about teal but i'm feeling sad for Teal at the same time...

      Delete
  2. I feel he should have known what he got into before it happened. From the outset Teal has always admitted her weaknesses to people in general. I don't see her as a teacher, especially as I have met real masters. . But she is wise and has a lot to offer, but she is still a student herself. His dialogue sounds like someone who feels burnt. Calling Teal narcissistic is probably a reflection of what's in him too. People who have been though the kind of things in their lives like Teal are generally poor partners and I speak out of experience.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yes I agree with you. Thank you for your perspective, have a nice day sir :) I was so attached to Teal before that I was really devastated by what I have learned. But yes she is really wise.

      Delete
  3. I Found Teal about three years ago however I stopped watching her videos after sometime as I didn't feel attracted to her teachings anymore. Something didn't feel right but it wasn't a big deal. I followed other teachings and read few books by other teachers. Every now and then when a video pops up by Teal I click on it to see if it is anything interesting however It hasn't been for me. Some how I joined her forum and realized that it was only put up for marketing reasons not to help others. When I get the sense it was all so fake I left the forum.
    I think we all have a spirit that guides us and it is wise to discern the truth. When it is fake you really feel it. I have nothing against Teal however I don't have anything for her as well. I will not recommend anyone to follow her but will let them know the story. after all we all have free will to choose. I would choose someone that I could look up to. She doesn't seem wise to me however she has a way of putting the information out there very tactically. Again it is all a matter of how we each perceive the reality.
    On the other hand if she is fake she cannot deceive people for too long so we all live and learn. We just have to follow the inner light within us so that we are able to discern the truth of who we truly are. Thanks for sharing Anthea.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. I feel the same way too. I don't resonate with her or her videos anymore. Thank you Amaranth! :D

      Delete
  4. She is a strange mixture of having or parroting some good spiritual information, but she, herself, I feel wants to be adored and revered. It's not sharing information that is universal for all. She wants specific association with it. That behavior is narcissistic. It seems she hasn't worked through that issue for herself yet. If that is possible. Depending on the level of narcissism, sometimes they cannot see what they are doing in their toxic behavior. I've always had this vibe about her, though. She has shared some wisdom, but she makes it seem it was divined from herself, but in truth it is ancient and omnipresent for anyone to tap into.

    ReplyDelete
  5. More on the real story between Sarbdeep and Teal here: https://alegicqueau.wordpress.com/2016/09/13/please-go-in-peace/

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. thanks for sharing the link, i have read it :) however i am just not convinced by what ale said :( surely they're all angry and defensive, but right now i automatically doubt what Teal says to people..

      Delete
    2. Have you read this blog post? http://sarbswan.com/2016/09/11/the-completion-process/

      Delete
    3. If you are on facebook, join our group: https://www.facebook.com/groups/745725782194639/
      It's the "Truth Tribe"
      "This group was formed by our admins Nile and Paddy back in February, after Sarbdeep wrote his first blog post about Teal Swan (link below). Because Teal Tribe prohibits posts containing any material deemed "anti-Teal," Truth Tribe was created as a safe place to question Teal and discuss the controversies surrounding her work, without fear of censorship or punishment.
      Though we are critical of Teal, we are not here to spread hatred or negativity. We are here to exchange ideas, to support those who have been harmed by her teachings, and to help one another process this difficult information. We believe that studying Teal’s material and teaching methods will help us to recognize toxic behavior patterns and stay above the influence of cults and abusers in the future.
      Please DO NOT post in this group with general complaints about how “negative” our tone is or the fact that we are “haters.” We are not hateful people. These are emotional topics for many of us. Some of us are angry and hurt. If you don’t understand why, check out the recommended reading list below, read our older posts, and ask us questions! (That said, if you notice anything specific here that bothers you and you wish to give constructive feedback, of course you are welcome to speak your mind.)
      Though the focus is on Teal right now, don't hesitate to post about other topics that interest you! We’d love to see more varied subjects addressed here!"

      Delete
    4. yes i have seen the completion process blog :) i have also seen ale's reply on that post on his blog, but i am just not convinced by ale's claims.. it feels like he just repeats what teal said.. and yes, i will check out that facebook group later :)

      Delete
    5. he was married to another woman when he was pursuing Teal. I have no respect for either of them and feel that her teachings are very dangerous. Be alert if you are following her.

      Delete
  6. A little heads-up for those that have read that "blog" - it is highly likely that the creator is actively and illegally impersonating Sarbdeep Swan.

    While the content of the blog sounds realistic, the absolute absence of a major factor of the blog, its creator's identity, is revealing.

    There are several aspects of this blog that scream impersonation. The blog and Facebook page have an incredible absence of identity - there is none.

    A name and a photograph of an individual is not proof of identity, especially online.

    On the very blog itself, this individual has conveniently stated he will not be photographing himself. Here is his statement:

    "Pursuing fame and posting photos of myself doesn’t interest me..."

    That statement itself invalidates everything he has written on his blog, since his audience has absolutely no idea who is behind it.

    In the end, we all know that Teal has been the target of individuals that greatly oppose her teachings and herself. This blog is yet another piece of negativity whose goal it is to perpetuate that very thing.

    Unless someone can provide absolute proof that Sarbdeep Swan is actually leading this blog, the stories are pure fabrications of Teal Swan's life, and Sarbdeep's perspective.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. :)) sarb's impersonator? i dont think so. teal and ale are replying to sarb's blogs, and they're not so stupid to reply to an "impersonator"

      Delete
    2. Can you please provide a link to one of Teal's responses? I wasn't at all aware that Teal was actually responding to these blog posts.

      Delete
  7. Hello, I am a big fan of Teal and of course I know about this case as well as many others. Without taking anyone s side, let me tell you why I think you shouldn t disgrace Teal and her teaching base on Sarb s blog post. The uniqueness about Teal is, that she, while comforting, healing and helping tons of people around, serve you the truth as it is. If you listen to her workshops, not just the weekly videos, you ll know how much she s aware of being shamed by spiritual society for being now married for a fourth time! And what s behibd this? STANDARDS, set to all of us by people around. People keep this believe for some reason, that spiritual teacher shall be kind od a perfect human being in a constant state of Nirvana without sigle scar on his soul. Then you re wrong. And who claims that, such as people pointing on others for being narcissists, have some deeper problems with this issue. Teal has a strong female energy, other spiritual teachers may not. She is for sure a flirtatious kind of woman who loves attention and for sure has done mistakes in her relationships that she surely carries within herself trying to heal them as all of us!!! Don t you see? At the end of the day, if you listen to her words, you can t blame her for confusing, lying or cheating you. It all makes sense. All the books and teachings I went through before meeting Teal were pointing to a same directions as hers. Her ex husband is definitely hurt, god knows why he decided ventilate his emotions like that, he knew very well how many haters are here to pick it up quickly to have another bullet against her. But is it up to you to judge? None of us shall do that. Love to all of you!

    ReplyDelete
  8. I watched a couple videos of this woman and I've been heavily into the occult, spirituality and metaphysics for about 20 years now so I know she knows her stuff. She definitely has done a lot of research and read many many books but there were a few things about her that immediately seemed off. The first time I heard her mention she grew up in a cult she laughed as she said it which I found very odd. I also noticed that she doesn't seem to visually express what she's talking about in her body language. This is another topic I've studied for the last 10 years and while it doesn't appear that she's lying directly, there is a severe lack of visual queues in her body language. Considering body language makes up for 90% of human communication this is very, very odd. Even her pattern of speech was really strange and believe me, spiritualists, especially public speaking ones, know the importance of pattern of speech when talking to a large group of people.
    This prompted me to google this woman to see who she was (and what cult she was brought up in because surely one as vile and sickening as she described would have made the news in some form right? And if not then why hadn't she given up the names of the people involved bringing them to justice?) and what I found was shocking to say the least and just reiterated all of my initial instincts.
    This woman may be very knowledgeable in whatever she's read about spirituality but it is clear from her demeanor and body language that she has no first hand experience of these things.
    It's about a particular state of mind, a particular perception and the ability to express yourself. IF you can't express yourself in whatever you do you haven't moved forward spiritually. Look at other reputable spiritual teachers and how they have no problem connecting what they are saying as they say it. You can feel what they're saying in their VERY BEING. This woman does not exude anything of the sort. She's all words coming out of her mouth and a pretty smile and captivating eyes. But any real physical evidence in her very being of the teachings she speaks of just don't seem to be there.

    I say this a someone who has read and listened to only a little of the accounts of people who have actually interacted with her; if you have even the smallest feeling something is off just don't watch her videos (or videos of anyone you get this feeling about). That's your spirit telling you something's not right.

    And remember spirituality is an entirely personal experience and honestly you don't need anything or anyone outside of yourself. Sit and meditate and let that be your guide. You don't even have to leave your house to have a spiritual experience or existence. Teachers are good and are necessary at times but they only prompt you to do the work yourself. It's about YOUR spirit and no one can tell you what is right or wrong for YOUR spirit. Only you (your spirit) can do that.
    I wish you the best in your spiritual journey and I hope you find what you are looking for.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. aww thank you so much! it was really my fault, i was dependent on her teachings until i found out the truth :( yes, it seems like for her it's all mental and from what i have read in other people's revelations about her, she isn't really living her teachings. I stopped watching her because I might get negativity from her presence in her videos or blogs via osmosis. I am just protecting myself. Thank you for your comment, I also wish you the best in all your endeavors in life :)

      Delete
  9. Who spends so much time and energy on slandering their ex long after a divorce? Only a narcissist would do that. This is classic narcissistic smear campaign! Look it up. Teal moved on. He can't stand it. Also Narcissistic people go with codependant people. Teal was codependant to her abuser because she belived she had to in order to save her family.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Okay teal wrote a blog "expressing herself" about her marriage and it's end FIRST. Sarbdeep simply responded. She started slandering him on her blog. That's not cool, like he said. She can express herself but he can't? That's narcissism pal. Honestly, Teal is cool I don't mind her. But if your gonna smear on your ex's name to your thousands of followers, it's only natural he's going to stand up for himself. Anyway he's said his piece, and now he has moved on. He isn't blowing bells and whistles, he's stating his reality and that's all someone can do. I'm sure he's looking out for his family too

      Delete
  10. Teal is a fake
    She has stolen the Completion Process from Paramahamsa Nithyananda

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Teal is fake but Nithyananda is fake as hell!!!! He's sooo full of shit hahaha

      Delete
  11. You felt bewitched for a reason. She actually should be using the name Black Swan as it is more fitting to her teachings,,,,she is using the Black Swan Theory after all. No it was not your fault! You were bewitched, many can fall under that, moreso the unsuspecting ones, who are true and pure of heart,,,it nearly happened to me in the beginning of my coming to the awareness of spirits and so on. Her spiritual ego is very high and those I myself do not mix with, it comes across as very negative to me. I pop in on her channel from time to time but not regularily. I dont mix with energies who feed from the "suffering" of others and prosper from it.

    ReplyDelete
  12. Teal is a conduit for spiritual enlightenment...As are we all. I have been both evil and good in my lifetime...as have we all. Take or leave from her what you will. Trashing her makes you the trash.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Well then maybe I am trash for putting my opinion out there. But messing with other people's belief systems and deceiving them and claiming to be a spiritual teacher while actually being a con artist is very dangerous. Thanks for reading the blog post of a "trash".

      Delete
  13. Hi,

    I'm so glad you wrote this post. The first time i noticed that something was off about Teal Swan was after I read the book called "The Presence Process" by Michael Brown. This book is the exact same material as her youtube video for Emotional Healing. I was shocked that she didn't give credit to the book anywhere. Not in the video and not in the "about" section. there was no mention anywhere. I still kept an open mind about her though.

    I was really into Teal's stuff for a couple of years until i went to her synchronization workshop in los angeles. I was so disappointed and shocked by how bad the workshop was! The microphone wasnt working and people couldn't hear her, she just flat out ignored our complaints. She just kept talking softly until it got fixed later and we missed a chunk of the workshop. It wasn't a large crowd, if she spoke a bit louder we could all hear her. But she just ignored us (people were telling her to speak louder) and she really didn't care to address it. It was so bizarre and messed up. the night only got worse from there haha. But i had to meet her to prove for myself if she was someone worth listening to or not. I do think a lot of her videos say things that are very high vibrationally and full of truth. After meeting her though, I knew that I was deceived. She doesn't seem like someone who has noble intentions. It just all felt really off for me and so i decided to no longer follow her. I'm really grateful that you wrote this post because I felt a lot of compassion for all her "followers" and her ex-husbands who just didn't know any better. And i would think about them from time to time.

    ReplyDelete
  14. not your business.....none of it.....get a life...seriously

    ReplyDelete

Powered by Blogger.