Dear Mr. D

Dear Mr. D,

I am sorry for falling in love with you right after we kissed. I always get a shock after I get kissed by someone other than a boyfriend; and I really want to apologize for being this way. I am just not the type who is okay with one night stands. I am certain that you are pretty intuitive so you might already have an idea that I had a slight crush on you that’s why I allowed you to kiss me. I get pretty emotional after that because for me, kissing my lips equates to touching my delicate soul and peeping into the depths of my raw self. It was intense attraction for me; and I am not sure if it was just pure lust on your part, but I hate being strangers after those kinds of events. I want to take care of you. I want to pamper and nurture you.

Before it happened, we were chatting happily and you were starting to pinch my nose and wrap your arms around me. Of course it was only a kiss. You just slept in the midst of me and your sister and it was nothing more than a kiss. And I had to admit that every tactile action that you made delighted me; you are such a sensual person and I would love to possess you. Until we woke up you were still hugging me. I loved it, I tell you. But we must be apart for the sake of appearances. There are lots of reasons why we must not be together – and I myself am also starting to think that maybe you just wanted to have fun with me. If that’s the case, you picked the wrong person. I take things really personally and seriously. And I think I have fallen in love with you pretty quickly.

Someone advised me that I must not rush into things and that I must take time in getting to know young men like you. Yes, we do not know each other. And we cannot justify what happened with other than physical attraction. I also know that you wouldn’t leave right away if your sister did not get angry. I like you so much. After you left, I was feeling happiness but then as the hours went by, I started getting stressed and crazy for no reason. I got physically weak and my stomach ached. I knew that it was caused by some kind of emotional baggage. It may be medically explained, but I think it was because I started to think that you only played with me and probably won’t show up in my life again. Those thoughts were painful because I want you to take care of me, even though you are younger. I really don’t care. I don’t know what you are thinking right now, but I am thinking that my life will still be open for you in the future. I know that it will be very wrong for me to pursue you, being an incarnation of the divine feminine, so right now I will just prepare myself for you or for the right person (if it is not you) by focusing on school and career stuff. Take care, Mr. D. J


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