Torn Between Two Lovers?


Last night, I cried. I cried and I called my ex-boyfriend again. I am mad at myself for constantly cheating, for always going back and forth two guys, and always wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life or if I am about to let go of a great romantic opportunity. Recently, I made the most difficult decision of breaking up with my boyfriend for my childhood crush turned to lover. I loved my ex, but he neglects my emotions and just talks to me when I am in a good mood. He is definitely selfish, but I have grown and matured last year to the point that I became ready to let go of things that make me suffer. And he is one of them. And yet, when my current boyfriend and I went on a date yesterday, we passed by the places where me and my ex-boyfriend used to date and eat happily. I looked sadly at my current boyfriend and wondered whether I really love him or I just made a big mistake of being with him now. So last night, as I was about to sleep, I called my ex-boyfriend and cried as I told him that I miss and love him still. He was the same way and that made me cry harder. I cried and cried because we wanted to be back together but my family and my boyfriend and my boyfriend’s family would be mad at me for doing such a horrible thing on him. So I cried. And yet, my ex’s controlling nature resurfaced and it only made the situation harder. I was thinking that he was the love of my life but he’s making things hard for me again. And so, the only solution I thought of was to email my most trusted psychic at the moment, Lawrence, and ask for his opinion. I sent him pictures of the three of us with my question, and this is what he said: (click to enlarge)

Reply: I checked them out, my vibes is NEITHER one of them is right for you.

Reading his answer, I thought to myself that I went into this whole chaos just for the thrill and experience, and not for something long-lasting. Months ago, I already knew that I may not choose one of them in the end. I had no heartfelt connection to them, just like to my family. It’s as if I was an alien who left my family from another planet in order to experience the chaos on earth. I still feel alone. And I don’t know why I am doing this. Whenever my current boyfriend and I go on dates, I only can see him as a male best friend who sexually likes me. This may be love, but this is definitely not a soul mate connection. I guess for now I will do my best to love him and give ourselves good romantic memories to be remembered later on, but at least now I know that I should have believed my gut instincts. And I am getting better in my intuition, I guess. 

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