Paano Ginawa Si Anthea

the baby after 20 years

Noong unang panahon, may dalawang matandang mag-asawa na hindi magkaanak. Sa kanilang desperasyon, pumunta sila sa isang bruha sa sa malayo at masukal na parte ng kagubatan at humingi ng tulong sa kanya sa kabila ng kanilang takot sa kaniya.

“Tok tok,” ang pagkatok nila sa kubo ng bruha.

Pagkatapos ng ilang minuto, lumabas rin ang uugud-ugod na bruha at tinanong ang matandang mag-asawa kung ano ang kailangan nila. Pinakiusapan siya ng mag-asawa na bigyan sila ng sanggol na babae. Nagbayad ang mag-asawa ng limang malalaking ginto at inilabas ng bruha ang kanyang mahiwagang kaserola. Naglagay siya ng luwad at tubig sa kaserola at hinalu-halo ang mga ito hanggang sa kumulo.

“Ano ba ang gusto niyong maging katangian ng inyong magiging anak?” tanong ng bruha.

“Gusto naming magkaroon sya ng mahaba at kulot na buhok,” sagot ng matandang lalaki.

Dali-daling kumuha ang bruha ng pancit canton sa kanyang aparador at inihalo ito sa nilulutong sanggol. Namangha ang mag-asawa. Di nagtagal ay binigay na lang ng bruha ang kaserola sa mag-asawa at binalaan nilang sa oras na mahanginan ito ay mabibigyang buhay na ang sanggol. Marami pa raw aasikasuhin ang bruha kaya ang mag-asawa na raw ang bahalang tumapos sa nilulutong sanggol.

Nang naiuwi na nila ang kaserola, sinalubong ang mag-asawa ng kanilang pamangkin.

“Auntie, ano yang dala nyo?”

“Gagawa kami ng sanggol. Huwag mong gagalawin ito ha?”

Napagplanuhan ng mag-asawa na ihalo ang antenna ng kanilang TV upang maging mapang-unawa at sensitibo ang bata sa mga tao sa paligid niya, at ang itinatago nilang anting-anting upang maging masuwerte ang bata sa kahit anong gawin niya sa buhay niya.

Habang hindi nakatingin ang mag-asawa ay binuksan ng walong-taong pamangkin nila ang kaserola at inihipan ito sapagkat ito’y umuusok pa rin. Unti-unting nabuo ang sanggol at gumapang-gapang na ito nang makalabas ng kaserola. Nagulat ang pamangkin at napasigaw ng, “Auntieeeee!!!”

Dali-daling lumapit ang mag-asawa at pinagalitan ang kanilang pamangkin.

“Hindi ba sinabi ko sa iyo na huwag na huwag mong papakialaman iyan? Lalagyan pa naming ng antenna at anting-anting yan ahh!”

“Antenna? Anting-anting?”

“Oo!”

“Sorry auntie!!!”

“Naku naman, oo!”

Sa pagsisigawan nila ay hindi nila alam na nakikinig na pala ang sanggol sa kanila. Auntie, antenna, at anting-anting ang mga unang salitang narinig nito. At dahil bulol pa ito, ang nasabi niya lang ay “an…te…ah…”

Kaya naman ngayon, kahit hindi siya naging maswerte (dahil sa anting-anting) o tsismosa (dahil sa antenna), naging mahaba at kulot naman ang buhok ng batang babae dahil sa pancit canton mula sa kusina ng bruha. Ang unang salita niyang nabanggit ay siyang ipinangalan sa kaniya, na “Anthea”.

A Chinese Creation Myth


Before Heaven and Earth had formed, there was a shapeless, dark expanse, a gaping mass; thus it was called the Great Glory. The Way (dao) first came from vacant space, vacant space gave birth to the cosmos, the cosmos gave birth to the Breath, and the Breath had its limits. The limpid light (yang) rose mistily and became the sky, the heavy turbidness congealed and became Earth. Because rare limpidity easily condensed but heavy turbidity congealed with difficulty, the sky was the first to form, and Earth settled into shape later. The double essence of the sky and Earth became yin and yang, the complex essence of yin and yang became the four seasons, the diffuse essence of the four seasons became the ten thousand things in nature. The hot Breath of concentrated yang gave birth to fire and the essence of the fiery Breath became the sun. The cold Breath of concentrated yin became water and the essence of watery Breath became the moon. The excess from sun and moon became the stars. The sky received the sun, moon, and stars, and the Earth received rivers and rain water, and dust and silt. Heaven is round; Earth is square.


Source:

Leeming, David Adams. (2010). Creation Myths of the World: An Encyclopedia. Santa Barbara,
            California: ABC-CLIO, LLC. 

Purification: the Theme for 2016

I got this information from Teal’s blog (link), and her yearly forecast was that the general theme for the earth this year is purification in any form – mental, physical, and emotional. Initially, she has spent “a long time looking into the dominant potential for 2016 (Swan, 2016)”. Nevertheless, purification turns out to be 2016’s theme, according to the beautiful woman.

“The theme that is the most dominant this year is purification. Pollution is the presence or introduction of something into something else that has harmful effects on that thing. When we come to this life, we opt into a degree of pollution on a mental, emotional and physical level…This year will be the year for purification on a mental level, on an emotional level and on a physical level. You will be provided every opportunity to free yourself from pollution that you have acquired since your birth…This process that ultimately serves us can be a very painful process if we have any resistance to being stripped clean of what does not match our essence. Truth will be exposed. All things will be exposed for exactly what they truly are…Including you.

“2016 is the year for cleansing. It’s a year for observing and reflecting on the aspects that belong with you and aspects that don’t. We are going to purge out that which is not genuinely our self and our truth…Mankind is going to be purifying by becoming aware of the pollution within its own species and cleansing this pollution.

“Approach this year with curiosity as if you do not yet know what the outcome will be. You will experience revelation. Approach this year as if you do not yet see what will be revealed as you uncover your true self…Jump on board with refining yourself, your life and the world you live in. Let yourself and your life be stripped clean (Swan, 2016).”

And because lots of nasty truths will be exposed and I don’t want it to add stress to my already very polluted life, these are my plans for the year:

Liver flush (again)
-          For cleansing my body of too much dirt and toxins


Purchase more incense and white candles
-        For calming, purifying the surroundings, and added energy in prayers and intentions brought forth into the universe


Yoga and meditate
-          For physical fitness while getting in touch with the divine energy


Daily dose of green tea
-          To calm my nerves and for its other health benefits


A plant-based diet (if I can!!!)
-          For developing a higher frequency and more nutrients absorbed by my body


And last, but not the least:

Remaining calm during a storm
-    Because the intense happenings that are about to happen to us are only opportunities for us to spiritually grow and mature. Every cloud has a silver lining. Namaste!


Source:

Swan, Teal. Jan. 15, 2016. Forecast for 2016. Retrieved from: http://blog.thespiritualcatalyst.com/forecast-for-2016/

Finally Accepting History and Being a Historian


Two years ago, a planned to have a double major in Literature and History in this university, mostly because my friends were history majors. However, when I started taking history majors, they became the reason for my wailings and sobs whenever I get drunk. I find it hard to understand because it is so vast, and what made it worse is that I feel sleepy whenever my classmates and teachers would ramble about history at the front. A few months ago, I finally swore that I would never take history subjects again (because I got serious anxiety and panic attacks from one history subject, and because most of my history friends turned their backs on me) and just shift to psychology. And yet, eventually, the law of attraction got me. They say that whatever you resist persists, so the psychology subject that I have reserved for the enrollment in this semester suddenly became restricted to me, and to the other literature students. I had no choice but to enroll in another history major, and the one that fit my schedule was the Modern History of West Asia. This time, I think I would be a wandering into the world of Arabs and Muslims, and i still don’t know what will happen to me because I dread history. I cannot prevent my imagination from running wild and away from the class whenever they ramble about the dull facts and dates. I just cannot. See this resistance? :)

And because of what happened, I thought that maybe I was really meant to study history although my personality is more suited for psychology. Having studied history for years now, I must say that those subjects really helped me in understanding the world around me. It made me widen my horizon, broaden my perspective, and discriminate less. It also gave me lots of general information that I could use in intelligent conversations. And looking from a higher perspective, maybe the universe wants me to realize one kind of symbolism – that I can only look forward into the future after I understand what happened in the past. And since we are all one with the universe, it definitely applies to my personal life. I had a rough childhood, harsh home environment, and harsher high school environment that eventually turned me into a girl with a crabby temperament. But with the help of being thrown alone in this university, I learned to stand up from where I was, take care of myself, and now I became the girl of my dreams. I am definitely not a loser anymore. And because I had so much resistance to my past, I vowed to avenge myself with some secret plan, and just hold my head up high so my abusers would realize that they were wrong. But I realize now that this mentality that I have is wrong too.

Through history, I can become free. I can travel and understand the world as long as I want to, because there is no restriction when travelling in the mind. I was restricted so much before, especially in my childhood and early teenage years, but now that I discovered that I am really a free-spirited individual, history has opened up my mind to many sights, cultures, races, personalities, stories, and possibilities that this earth contains. It allowed me to sympathize more with my beloved planet because we are all one, and we all have experienced the same dreadful things. History makes us realize that one negative thought can turn into something big like the holocaust, and one girl’s diary can touch the whole world, like Anne Frank’s “A Diary of a Young Girl”. And, personally speaking, we cannot change history. We can only understand and dwell on it – then and only then we can move on. I cannot change my own history. I cannot change the family where I came from. I can only understand them from afar, since we I shouldn’t really be placed near them – and I can just be thankful that they gave me so much traumas in my early life so I now have some things to be healed from. Because of them, I can experience healing, purification, and redeeming myself like a phoenix. History at first seemed like a negative subject because it makes us dwell on such horrible things brought about by the human race before, but the universe still wants me to study it so I can practice acceptance and make peace with the past and with my past self. 

Drinking Tea with an Empty Stomach


For two days now, I have been drinking green tea the first thing in the morning. Yes, when my stomach is empty. This is our enrollment week, so I thought green tea would be a good thing to drink to calm my nerves. However, I feel nauseous after drinking it, like I wanted to vomit or defecate or sleep – I just can’t understand the feeling. And it’s almost as if my body rejects the tea. I initially thought that the tea was conditioning my body in some way, or cleaning some blocked chakras – but when I finally googled “drinking green tea in the morning on empty stomach,” I found out that the tannins in the green tea increases the stomach acids, which in turn causes the nauseous feeling. I just damaged my body. Sorry, body! Don’t drink green tea with an empty stomach because you definitely won’t enjoy your cute cup of tea. :)

There are lots of benefits of drinking green tea, and I found this cute picture which says a lot:


Happy tea time, my cuties! 

Lesson on Independence, Autonomy, and Being Present with Myself


It seems like I already have an idea of what my lesson for 2016 is. From what I observe in my current life patterns, people always leave me, relationships always fail, friendships fade away, friends are always busy, so I always end up being alone. Having my Saturn in Pisces in the 7th house, I always seem to hold on to relationships in order to not drown in the sea of chaos. My life is just so chaotic, from my own home to the outside world, and I always find myself alone with almost no one there to help me. Since my 2016 started, I immediately have experienced things like having my family (purposely) misunderstand and go against me, three versus one. But that kind of filial rejection already started from when I was still a child. Being the black sheep in my family leaked out into my reality outside my home, because I just cannot fit in the society. Not that I am a deviant, but I feel like nobody understands me because I have eccentric interests like astrology and new age spirituality. And even though I also like makeup and fashion like most girls, I feel like most of them are very superficial when who I really like to be with is someone who loves me, knows how to listen, and can carry on a very deep and meaningful conversation. I only have a few friends, most of which eventually leave anyway, and then I’d end up being alone again. Right now I feel abandoned by my best friend here in the university and that amplifies my loneliness and innate feeling of sorrow (probably caused by my family background), added by the fact that my independent roommate also always leaves me alone and doesn’t like to tell me where she goes and why she goes away. I am all alone.

Of course I cannot just wallow in sadness and do nothing about my fate. As far as what new age spiritual teachers say about the bad or the shadow side of things, resistance will only make your problems bigger and allowing will make them go away or make you attract something in your life that will solve that particular problem. The universe may have given me loneliness and being abandoned this year and have that problem be expanded to trigger more pain within me because I need to be forced to be independent or autonomous. I have to do things by myself now because all my life I had been dependent to the people who care about me. And despite being the black sheep in my family, I was probably spoiled (like what some people say) because I am used to the feeling of comfort and just letting others work while I remain a childish child – which resulted to being fearful of being or doing things by myself. I am actually thankful to the universe and to my parents and to myself (by manifesting) for letting me have this opportunity of going to an excellent college far away and by myself. That way I was forced to really do things by myself – because my peers, which are also college students, are also busy in their own lives, studies, social life, and self-improvement. However, this time it’s different. Surely you can let me do things by myself, but only the things that are familiar to me. I am really afraid of uncertainty and not knowing that I sometimes do not let myself experience some things, and that only results to a feeling of restriction which I hate – because I have discovered that I am a free spirit. I badly want some life instructions to be imposed upon be because I live in a sea of chaos, yet I also love my freedom and my own self-expression and my high school years were the first years of my life when I decided to follow my heart and have a unique expression of myself. However, because I had a low self-esteem and my high school back then valued conformity, my high school years were so difficult. My soul wanted to express itself in an environment that frowns upon true self-expression (the one that is in alignment, and not done in a space of wanting validation).

Before writing this down, I had a terrible time being alone with myself. And it still continues up until now – but luckily, my boyfriend now is more dependable and loving. I have thought to myself that I always had rotten friends and that my relationship with my best friend is now going downhill. Of course I became bitter. I have definitely lost trust in other people. And yet, I seek answers for what is going on with me now. The saying “ask and ye shall receive” is really true, since I eventually have thought of watching again Teal Swan’s video entitled, “SelfTrust vs Independence”. Yes I found answers, and I am very happy with it, and these are some of her quotes in the video that may help you if you are going through the same tough challenge:  

“The universe will continuously mirror your relationship with yourself. It will mirror your resistance to yourself by continually turning you back towards yourself. If we distrust ourselves, or if we can’t rely on ourselves, the universe will continually put us in situations where that is mirrored through us not being able to rely on other people or trust other people. We will be forced to reintegrate ourselves. We will be forced to reestablish a connection with ourselves. We will be forced to find out we can trust ourselves and can rely on ourselves. Because the universe will put us in situations where that’s our only option which is to figure out that we can.

“If you continually try to get other people to take responsibility for you, especially by asking them to make you feel better, you’re perpetuating a state of powerless dependence, self-avoidance, and self-distrust. The universe doesn’t hate you. You are not alone, and the universe is not telling you that you can’t depend on other people or other things. The universe is merely trying to put you in a position where you can learn that you can trust yourself. Be completely present with yourself and depend on yourself. It is trying to help you heal your relationship with yourself by leading you towards your relationship with yourself that is not good. To do this, it must lead you away from your current pattern of avoiding yourself by powerlessly depending on others. It is trying to lead you into self-trust and empowered symbiosis.”Teal Swan

Astrologically speaking, Saturn is the planet that imposes on tough life challenges for us to learn something very big. It is called the malevolent planet – since wherever Saturn is, there is restriction, delays, and difficulties. Saturn is like a stern authoritative father that wants you to learn and work hard. And yet it seems like Saturn is a loving father after all, only guised as someone that is too harsh, because the planet reflects our own fears. Right now I feel very grateful to have a very loving universe that parents me in such a way because it wants me to succeed in life, although this isn’t really very easy. Maybe we just have to put out our trust and hope into the universe, whatever happens in our life, and think that all of these are only for our own good. I remember back in 2012 when I was still in high school and I just started to blog, I posted “I wanna be independent.” My idea of independence was very different back then, and it is very obvious that I wrote from a space of resistance. My soul’s evolution is evident looking back at that post and looking at what I am writing now. Today, half of what I wrote back then was already manifested, but material things don’t count when we talk of real independence or autonomy. It is self-trust. And around the end of the year 2016, I probably will have learned how to depend and trust myself into meeting my needs. 

Torn Between Two Lovers?


Last night, I cried. I cried and I called my ex-boyfriend again. I am mad at myself for constantly cheating, for always going back and forth two guys, and always wondering if I just made the biggest mistake of my life or if I am about to let go of a great romantic opportunity. Recently, I made the most difficult decision of breaking up with my boyfriend for my childhood crush turned to lover. I loved my ex, but he neglects my emotions and just talks to me when I am in a good mood. He is definitely selfish, but I have grown and matured last year to the point that I became ready to let go of things that make me suffer. And he is one of them. And yet, when my current boyfriend and I went on a date yesterday, we passed by the places where me and my ex-boyfriend used to date and eat happily. I looked sadly at my current boyfriend and wondered whether I really love him or I just made a big mistake of being with him now. So last night, as I was about to sleep, I called my ex-boyfriend and cried as I told him that I miss and love him still. He was the same way and that made me cry harder. I cried and cried because we wanted to be back together but my family and my boyfriend and my boyfriend’s family would be mad at me for doing such a horrible thing on him. So I cried. And yet, my ex’s controlling nature resurfaced and it only made the situation harder. I was thinking that he was the love of my life but he’s making things hard for me again. And so, the only solution I thought of was to email my most trusted psychic at the moment, Lawrence, and ask for his opinion. I sent him pictures of the three of us with my question, and this is what he said: (click to enlarge)

Reply: I checked them out, my vibes is NEITHER one of them is right for you.

Reading his answer, I thought to myself that I went into this whole chaos just for the thrill and experience, and not for something long-lasting. Months ago, I already knew that I may not choose one of them in the end. I had no heartfelt connection to them, just like to my family. It’s as if I was an alien who left my family from another planet in order to experience the chaos on earth. I still feel alone. And I don’t know why I am doing this. Whenever my current boyfriend and I go on dates, I only can see him as a male best friend who sexually likes me. This may be love, but this is definitely not a soul mate connection. I guess for now I will do my best to love him and give ourselves good romantic memories to be remembered later on, but at least now I know that I should have believed my gut instincts. And I am getting better in my intuition, I guess. 

Goals for 2016

Bigger thighs, hips, and butt


I’ve always wanted to have a curvy body, but I’m an ectomorph so my body type won’t allow any type of bulkiness into my physique. This year, maybe I’ll devote my time to yoga, warm up exercises, walking, or going to the gym in order to sweat out a lot of toxins and achieve the body type that I really want to have. By the end of 2016, I should already look physically sexy. ;)

More fancy clothes


I’m an artist, but now I express it more through makeup and fashion choices. I want to be able to wear those girly clothes that I wasn’t able to wear during my teenage years due to shyness and low self-esteem. I want to express myself more through clothes – and a wide array of clothing choices makes it easier.

[Hoarding] more makeup or whatever items (lipsticks, nail polishes, bags, etc.)


In the near future, I want to have a dressing table with lots of makeup items on it. I want all sorts of colors and whatever to match my mood. I really want to try everything and experiment with colors. I really wanna have a boudoir and it won’t be impossible when I become financially independent.

Finish my thesis


This is the T-word that my friends are not allowed to mention. I did not finish it during the Christmas break because vacations are supposed to be enjoyed. But now that I know that neither one of the two boys is my Mr. Right, I will focus my energy on studying this shit and defending it successfully and taking this horrible thing of my to-do list.

Concentrate on my studies


I really wanna graduate so bad now because the environment of my university already feels so restricting. I want to start earning work experiences because I want the real life, not the university life. UP is really a psychological battlefield and the way is so foggy that I cannot see my way into the future clearly. I’d concentrate on my studies for this semester because we never know where we can use those bits and pieces of knowledge.

Have a richer lifestyle


By this, I mean pamper evenings, facial masks, always eating, always sleeping, wearing comfy clothes, putting makeup on when going out – basically taking care of myself. Practicing self-love in practical ways and not abandoning oneself health-wise.

Hone my communication and people skills


I know that I am meant for the path of communication because I love getting and sharing information about anything, anytime. I love writing, telling stories, reading, gossiping, and blogging. I would love to sharpen my skill on reporting and public speaking, because that is the biggest challenge for me growing up. I’d love to have a harmonious relationship with people, because people skills are definitely a requirement in the real world.

A clear plan regarding my [future] career


By the end of 2016, I want to already have a clear plan regarding my career so I can just grab opportunities right away. I desire the experience. I want a clear picture of what I really am going to achieve. My mars in Scorpio should know what it is going to get in order to take time to plan some calculated moves. I really want to be independent. My parents are getting old and I cannot be a child forever. 

The New Year 2016, and Reflections on the Year 2015

my support system since 2008 (26th of December, 2015)

The year 2014 had been a bit too harsh for me, because it was definitely my year of tested, wounded, and broken friendships. It was also a year of too much hardship in my academic life. It was a year of fear, of intensely negative thoughts, of deep insecurities, of enemies nearby, of weakness, and of trauma. If you may remember on my post last year about doing better on 2015 (“2014” and “AProvoked Phoenix”), I vowed to take revenge for what has been done to me during 2014 by taking care of my health, beauty, studies, and writing career. I vowed that I will certainly embody a phoenix rising from the ashes. Looking back on what I did or what I have gone through on 2015, I feel a sense of satisfaction because I was given tough challenges and obligations mostly by difficult authority figures and I have successfully overcome them. It was a year of drastic change, because I changed residences and friends in the blink of an eye that the people around me were in shock and looked at me in a bad way when I only did what was best for me. I cut of several ties with negative people and walked alone in my path. I faced several rejections bravely, knowing that I only did the right thing for myself, had encounters with toxic people, and learned the lesson of trusting our gut instincts when it comes to people – that if you feel badly about someone and you don’t know why, they probably are bad for you. Sometimes giving some people the benefit of the doubt only gives us too much trouble. I have really encountered people who are insecure enough to go out of their way only to destroy you. And during 2015, I have learned to fight. I have learned to fight illnesses, enemies (in a quiet, subtle way), myself, and situations or places that trap you.

During the year 2015, I continued taking care of myself; only this time, health-wise. I did sessions of liver flushes and months after it was completed, my face became smoother and clearer. I also became a sucker for essential oils like sunflower, coconut and sesame oils. I use them for my rashes, and as my nighttime facial mask. Rather than using commercialized products, I think it is better and safer and healthier to go for natural products. Although I am still struggling to put on some weight, which gravely affects my self-image, I now have a calmer and more mature disposition than before. Because before, I was really attention-seeking. That was how I cover up my insecurities. Now I have a bigger place for acceptance of these insecurities in my being. I have become more accepting and forgiving of myself. I have learned to love myself authentically when during 2014, I was really struggling to find out the real meaning of self-love. Yet, 2015 was not easy. I still had lots of interpersonal conflicts with people, as I was finding my way into alignment. I have left my boyfriend named Al John Omo for a childhood crush/friend of mine whom I was more connected and in harmony with. It was so painful for me because we did have some genuinely happy moments together and we were a part of each other. I guess I really needed him during 2014 when my life was in deep chaos, and he has healed my insecurities. I also did not get back to my old friend, Desry, because I think we have already learned the lessons that we needed to learn from each other and that it’s really time to move on. I cannot really see myself back with her because we have so much differences and the wound that she inflicted on me was so deep and unforgettable. It’s not a failed friendship – it was a successful friendship, but it’s just already time to move on and forget about each other. During this year, my family has also gone through great challenges because both my father and my sister had been hospitalized several times. Our family wealth has diminished into pennies. My sister had ovarian cancer, but thankfully, she has recovered easily before the start of a new year. This was also a year when I walked in my path alone (because I had to), not surrounded by a group of friends unlike before, and it surely was lonely. It was a crazy year, but I surprisingly had stabler emotions.

Anyway, these are the awesome things that I have manifested this year:

A new boyfriend who loves and suits me better

Leaving my ex-boyfriend was so painful. It was even more painful for him – and I always cry whenever he tells me his long sentiments through text. If possible, he didn’t want to let me go, but I knew deep in my heart that it is time for me to move on to another relationship. It’s for my own spiritual growth anyway. My new boyfriend now is like someone who came out of a fairytale because he was my childhood crush, and through him I manifested my ideal boyfriend. He is very open-minded to anything spiritual that I say, he loves couple items and finds them cute, he is willing to take me everywhere to date me, he is willing to change for me, he loves kissing me for hours, he finds my eccentricities adorable, he loves to show me off to everyone, his family adores me, he sees me as a strong and unique woman, he always gives up during our arguments, he opens up his soul to me, and he wants to marry he. During my past relationships, I always give way to my ex-boyfriends and they cannot understand my inclination to spirituality. They also still find other women beautiful and want me to change my simplicity in order to be a trophy girlfriend. They would not leave their horrible vices for me. They have established too many restricting rules that did not allow me to grow in the way that I wanted. They did not accept who I really am, but now I have manifested someone who sees me as the most precious jewel in the world. Our tastes in music are very similar, and our minds work almost very similarly, as if he is my soul mate. Every single thing that my ex-boyfriends lacked is in him. Probably I have learned to love myself more that’s why I attracted someone in my current reality who accepts everything about me.

More compliments of my beauty and acceptance from others

During the late 2014 and early 2015, I always get comments from people that I should put more meat in my bones. Those comments were out of displeasure, but now I get fewer comments about my body weight. Of course I am still thin, but now, people tend to mention that my body is still proportionate despite my thinness, that my petite-ness suits me anyway, visually and personality-wise. Before, I still get lots of comments that judge me in a negative way. Now, people tend to appreciate and understand me more despite my moodiness and imperfections. People are more tolerant. They tend to appreciate that I am being myself and that my mistakes and quirks allow them to be more relaxed and less perfect too.

A healthier body

Of course I still cannot afford having a vegetarian lifestyle as I am still a student, but my clearer face shows that I am now cleaner inside. After being ill during the whole month of July, I have confirmed my belief that western medicine is all about profits and not really about the well-being of the patients. I had a really bad experience when my mother insisted that we go to a clinic and I take the medicine prescribed by the doctor. I rebelled so much because my mother did not understand and she was as stubborn as me. As a result, I did not recover from the medicine and only developed a fish allergy which I did not have before. This experience made me learn that I must listen to my own gut instincts and follow only what I believe to be right, and not rely on other people’s ignorance.

Respect from other people

Before I went to college, some people (who don’t even look handsome or pretty themselves) were too confident in bringing me down through their snickers, backstabbings, negative comments, and criticisms about me that break my heart. But now, as I have said earlier, people tend to be more accepting of even my negative qualities and understand them. Recently, I always find myself paying very low than normal or free transportation fares. People get so kind to me – except the women maybe. Some women still stare at me for whatever reason, and still harbor malice. However, what’s good is that they do not confront me with negativities anymore and that they just swallow their own insecurities without harming me. My boyfriend’s family really respect me and look at me in a positive light, as they could only comment positively about me like I am more beautiful in person, I have a nice hair, I am kind, etc. The people around their neighborhood do not harbor bad intentions on me; in fact, they see me as an attractive girl and they see my boyfriend as a very lucky man. People tend to respect me as a person now and they give me just exactly what I need. More people also greet me good morning, good afternoon, etc. which is really so polite of them. This is a big deal for me and just one of the reasons for my satisfaction because I really suffered from negative attention all over as a child.

Spiritual growth and maturity

Spiritual growth will never be as quick as a blink of an eye. For most humans, it takes too many challenges and struggles in order to learn. During the past two semesters, I always watch spiritual videos from Teal Swan, Wisdom From North (Jannecke Oinaes), Infinite Waters (Ralph Smart), Channeling Erik (Elisa and Erik Medhus), Eckhart Tolle, etc. Practicing acceptance and treading the easy path is not that easy. I, or we, rather, have gotten used to the path of hardships, thinking that it is the better one to take. At the end of 2015, I have learned to just let go of negative emotions after embracing them and take the path of ease. We do not always have to be in “competition mode” in life. That’s exhausting. I have performed better in college when I always think of my inspiration (my new love life) and when I do not mind other people’s business. I always found myself depressed when I think about what other people think about me. But the more I took the courage to leave behind things or people who do not serve me anymore, and go for the things that make me happy no matter how shallow they are, the happier I became. And the happier I became, the more I found it easier to accept and understand other people. Before, I was really a faultfinder – in myself and in other people – but now I tend to find the good qualities in others and they do the same to me. I get showered now in compliments and positive attention, which are the very things that I was deprived of when I was a child. Health and happiness are already within my reach before the end of 2015, and I surely have accomplished last year’s goal of moving on, acceptance, adapting to big changes, and improved health and beauty. Because now I can definitely see beauty in my family, relationships, surroundings, and the mirror. Thank God I have manifested so many things by just following my shallowest happiness and throwing my expectations out the door. I think 2015 has definitely prepared me for 2016 which is going to be a blast. I am now wiser, stronger, prettier, calmer, and happier. And I thank the universe for letting me stay in this third-dimensional earthly plane for another year. :) 
Powered by Blogger.