Blood Moon (04 April 2015)

Last night, I saw the full moon turn red and back to being lit again. I am not quite sure if that was my first time seeing a lunar eclipse but I knew deep inside that there’s something significant about that event. It’s like a sign of something; I’m just not sure what it is. But when I tried to Google its spiritual meaning hours later, something in me clicked and I was like, “Now I know.”

These past few weeks, I’ve been really really sad. I know that I decided to be alone for good, but solitude (I’m gonna have a separate post on this one) just brings out all the dormant issues within my being and I get tortured by nostalgia. I focused on what I lacked, the relationships that I never had, the times I wasted, and how foolish I was before. And just this week, I think I’ve severed ties with some girls that I thought were my friends. I learned from that specific event just how selfish people are to the point where most of them don’t live for true friendship. I got so angry and so upset that my skull reared its ugly horns and I’ve bluntly shown my disappointment to a friend for the first time. Before, I was really afraid of making people angry at me because losing friends would make me feel like the world is against me. But I was wrong. Sometimes we need to lose some things because it’s only when we have “voids” that the universe fills them with better things.

I found out that when there is a lunar eclipse, it’s a time for the domination of the “dark” forces – ghosts are everywhere, our departed ancestors would visit us, the witches are more powerful, etc. I am not quite sure whether they’re worthy of believing, but some websites also said that this is a perfect time for meditation and spiritual practices. But we are not to travel so often three days before or after the lunar eclipse because the dark forces are dominant at this period of time. It is better to slow things down and relax. Light meals are advised because the digestive system gets slower. It’s just not the time to do things impulsively – because the most important thing that the lunar eclipse brings is the “heightening of emotions” and relationships might be tested for the moon is in the sign of Libra right now. Last night I also got really really angry with my boyfriend that I threatened to leave him – and I mean it, by the way. These past few days are just so intense for me that my relationships with people are so affected. I also wondered what was wrong with me, but I guess it’s just the fact that I am influenced by the moon more than anything. My natal moon is in the sign of Cancer, the ruler of the moon, so I think that these mood swings are natural for me. The lunar eclipse just made it more intense to the nth power.

But right now, remembering the friendships that I have broken, the papers that need to be passed, the thesis proposal that needs to be done, and the novel that needs to be read quickly, I just can’t seem to relax. I’ve done a lot of ways to pamper myself – bathing with natural products, putting on oils all over my body, putting off exercise, and drinking lots of yogurt, but the “things that need to be done” just literally destroys me. I also feel more alone than I did years before – so basically, I have this feeling or need that I have to fend for myself. In fact, I’ve got a migraine right now. And thanks to you, blood moon. Things have gone way more intense. 


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