My ceiling fan broke. My flash drive was lost. I lost several friendships and discovered their ingenuity. My laptop broke down. The circumstances forced me to move into another dormitory. Friendships with other people are put to test. I experienced many losses that my self esteem started to fall apart too. I snap easily and often get into temper tantrums. It’s easier to fall into delusions. It’s easier to make a world of my own. Because during 2014, everything that I had, owned, and earned was moving away from me. I was trapped in my own misery. I personally think that the general energy of the year 2014 had the theme of LOSS. Losses, tests, unexpected turns, going away, escape. Obviously, it was a very difficult year for me. However, what makes me happy is that 2014 seems to only pave the way for 2015 which seems to be a year of CHANGES and NEW BEGINNINGS.

There had to be pain, losses, and destruction so we’d have a chance of healing and transformation. The happenings during 2014 forced me to examine myself and listen to my inner guidance system. The circumstances last year purged the people in my lives. 2014 knocked my self-esteem out; but of course I’d rise again. It made me realize that I should stop externalizing my worth because it had nothing to do with other people’s opinions and perspectives. It made me realize that my soul really wants to be with spiritual people, not just shallow people who gossip and drink. Last year, I tried hard to fit in yet I feel shunned by the society. I felt like the belonging was temporary, fake. Most people didn’t want to deal with me during my dark days. Nobody wanted to help me. Nobody is a true friend. But I realized that the number one priority I should have is to love myself. Trying hard to please people who don’t even love you is worthless, and still wouldn’t yield your desired results. I realized that whatever reputation I may have depends on the person. I realized that selfishness is the only thing that I needed. I hurt by caring about what they think, when they don’t even care about me. 2014 forced me to become stronger.

I always sang the song “Stronger” by Britney Spears before, thinking that I already had experienced the greatest pain but my experiences before were nothing compared to my experiences during 2014. It was literally the worst year ever – where even my most trusted friends turned their backs on me and I was left with nothing but myself. But this 2015, “Stronger” would be my theme song, because I would indeed be “stronger than yesterday, now it’s nothing but my way.” I don’t need their misleading opinions. I am enough. I didn’t even find them useful at all. And now, meaning the beginning of this year, is my chance to have fresh beginnings and conquer whatever I want in order to manifest my desires in this life. This is because the energy shift won’t start right away in our new year – it will be on the spring equinox [20 March 2015], the real new year. The real indicator of a fresh beginning – spring. The unfortunate cirmunstances mentioned the earliest in this post were signs of what is and what is to become. This is a year of transformation.


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