Letter to My Ten-Years-Younger Self

Dear 7-year-old me,

            I miss you. You were a naïve child, full of pranks and you love to play outdoors. You didn’t care much about your education, food, and especially your looks. You didn’t even have a single crush. You were a very simple girl – you weren’t seen wearing a pair of Barbie boots and a single accessory. Your two front teeth were just beginning to grow, but you loved to wear your mischievous smile always. You didn’t care about anything. All that you complained about were the days when your little sister didn’t have classes while you did. You were happy-go-lucky. You just didn’t care about the world. You even dance to the songs of Sexbomb Dancers. You always sing every song that is pleasant to your ears. You were skinny, but the signs of health were seen on your rosy cheeks and lips, curious eyes, fast legs, and enthusiasm in life. You were still so little back then, but bravery was already seen in your eyes. Brave but vulnerable at the same time.

            I wish there really was a time machine and I could hand this letter from the future to you. This is the seventeen-year-old you. I know that you’re wishing now to grow older, probably about this age, to experience being pretty and having boyfriends. I tell you, do NOT wish to grow older. Enjoy the present. Learn anything that you can, whether it is from the classroom of from your own personal tragedies, because you will need the wisdom you would gain in the future. Life is about struggling, so you are lucky to be just worrying about being the “it” in playing tag. I am the result of what you are doing to yourself.

            Well, I still look much like you, except for a few changes. Your flyaway hair, which was once straight, and which you like to wear in pigtails, is now long, wavy, and brown. You would love how your hair would curl in the future. It really is a lovely sight, I tell you. You are petite now, right? Although I now have curves and a little fat in my body, I am still considered skinny. That’s why you should give up the hope of being fat. Many girls skip their meals to have a body like yours, though not as skinny as that, so love your body. You are actually blessed. I still have those chubby cheeks of yours. But it’s okay though, because it hints a streak of innocence despite my sort of matured face. People who don’t know you think that you’re snobbish, right? It would still be until the end of the days. But don’t worry, first impressions don’t always last. Those who try to harm you with their words are only threatened by you. Someday you will soar high above them. Mark my words. You will. Prideful people who have treated you like shit in your younger days have now not-so-successful life. They’re not as good-looking as you will be after ten years. All about you that you’ve hated are now your assets. Learn to love yourself, I’ll tell you why:

            The cause of your jealousy for your little sister is the way people treat you differently. It’s because she has a sweet face while you have a serious and snobbish one. Your natural expression probably irks some people. However, that was how God made it. Trust in Him. Your pair of Arabic eyes which you got from your father is an asset. You have a piercing and penetrating gaze. You nose which was too big for you when you were younger, especially the moment you were born, is now very beautiful and coveted by others. You have a high nose bridge which fits your beautiful “kontrabida” image. You sweet little lips are still small, and together with your chubby cheeks, they display your inner child. They are contradictory with the alliance of your nose, eyes and eyebrows, which are fierce and intimidating, but beautiful at the same time. You have a very beautiful combination of facial features. When you smile, your eyes give a piercing twinkle that is very attractive. Nobody would admit it, but some men have told me that they are so attracted to my smile. You do not display innocence in your looks; only sexiness and attractiveness especially when you smile. Your innocence is your charm, but it is only felt in your aura – but your aura is dominated by sexiness. Perhaps the most beautiful possession of yours is your hair. Its ringlets are very lovely and they add to your sexy look. You really are silly, but people cannot help but notice that trait of yours. Just endure the sexy jokes that boys will throw at you. They can’t help it.

            I am not here to show you how pompous I have become. I am not. I know that you have a low self-esteem because you were frequently bullied in your early childhood. You also inherited your father’s shyness. Early on, you’ve felt you’ve experienced too many trials. You really have; and it would be more in number is time goes by. Wanna know why? You’re destined to walk on a tough path because you are destined to become a polished diamond, with your entire luster admired by the world. You’ll find how valuable you are later in life. Anyway, believe me when I say that you will be very pretty after ten years – or even prettier as the years go by. You are not a head turner, or a woman who’s attained society’s standards of beauty, because you do not look like a Filipina. People around you say so. However, you are the kind of person who’s exceptional, one-of-a-kind, and hard to get out of thoughts. People will hate you for your natural charisma that’s hard to define. You have a look that you are profound and principled. People will think that you are snobbish because of that. You always do things very well. You are not a performer, but you are born to be one. You just hide your charisma behind your shyness. You are often the center of attention without meaning to, because you emit a kind of aura that’s intriguing. Even in group pictures, you can easily be spotted because of your charm and beauty. You may not gain the world’s favor, but you know deep in your heart that you are not just an ordinary girl. Many will claim to be unique, but the one who’s truly unique is you.

            You’ll have many suitors and you’ll experience lots of heartbreaks. They will break your heart because of your weirdness and ugliness; but once the flower starts to bloom, bees will swarm again around the blossom that they once despised. Again, mark my words: people who have done you wrong will soon realize their mistakes and will try to make up but they’ll eventually realize that you’re already out of their reach. You’ll learn how to avoid toxic people in your life without letting them taste your revenge. The remorse that they’d feel once they lose a special person like you is enough. Through time, you will learn that you must be with quality people too because it is a disgrace to be treated like crap by people who are a hundred feet lower than you. Each time you are polished by trials, it shows on the outside. Despite your shyness, you have a natural luster that other people covet.

            By and by, you will idolize Britney Spears. You will love her prettiness, charm, and singing and dancing skills. By and by, you will also unconsciously become like her. You will bloom into a very pretty girl and have attention-devouring charm even if you are just quiet and reserved. People will praise you on how well you sing and dance, but you only do them just for fun. Nonetheless, they are an addition to your other gifts. I know how simple you are. Don’t you know that you will bring your simplicity with you until you grow up? I don’t wear accessories and I just wear my hair down. However, even natural simplicity still commands attention because like what I have said, you are on your way to become a polished and valuable diamond. Bit by bit, your sheen shows. It also shows on your face. You are weird and simple, yet pretty and charismatic.

            When you were five years old, you resolved that you would become an astronaut when you grow up. However, you may also notice that you loved drawing and coloring your drawings. You loved to read; and you search for the whole house for anything interesting to read. You also loved to write whenever your heart is bursting with feelings. Paper is your best friend. After ten years, you wouldn’t study courses that could lead you to high-paying jobs. You will pursue Literature. It suits you very well because you are as unique as your course sounds. You are profound, and in that field you will gain much general knowledge. You actually dreamed of becoming a lawyer, but you will just be contented in being a teacher and a writer because you have high morals and you wouldn’t settle for a dirty job like a lawyer’s. For now, I still don’t know further about your future – but you must believe in yourself, because you can do anything when you put your mind to it. Remember that life is about struggling and you must never ever give up. You are a very special girl and I love you so much.

Love,

17-year-old Anthea

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