Is it normal that I feel this way?

Whenever I feel depressed over something that’s so superficial, I always feel like I want my high school friends to teleport to my side and tell jokes so I could wear a smile on my face again. It seems like they’re the only ones whom I can really trust, and count on to be always on my side. When we were just freshmen in high school, great differences on our personalities were patent there were many times that we had conflicts because of misunderstandings and different thinking patterns. However, now that we’re already studying in different universities scattered in the different parts of the Philippines, we couldn’t help but feel alone, unless we have the company of at least one ABNU. I feel like nobody in this world could understand me than my high school group of friends, ABNU. 

It has already been eight months since I went to a very different environment from my hometown, and I should be well-adapted here by now. I have friends here, I can also manage to smile and laugh, but deep inside, I am very sad. It seems like the friends I have here are only my friends because of necessity, but my relationship with them has no depth. The few chosen ones from my friends have gained my trust, but I feel like they are way too self-absorbed. I feel like when I’m not with them, there’s a great chance that I might be one of their topics in their chitchats. I still haven’t found the ones who would understand me instead of judge, who would enjoy my company and never leave my side, who have the same personality and principles as mine, who have the same sense of humor as mine, who have the same goals in life as mine, and who walk the same path as mine. It is really hard to find a true friend who would love me and never betray me – and that’s the reason why I’m still forlorn deep inside.

I may be unworthy to compare myself to Jesus because He is way too holy and sacred, but we don’t make friends just for fun. We don’t make friends for fame’s sake. We want friends whom we could cherish forever. Friends are those whom we should develop a deep relationship with, those who can accept us just the way we are, those who are there for us through good times and bad times, those who just laugh at our mood swings, those who very well know our good and dark sides, those who can laugh with us at the most silly things, those who cry with us when we cry, and those who remind us where the right path is when we’re starting to go astray. True friends serve as light to us in this dark world, and remind us that there is still beauty left in this world.


Post a Comment

Powered by Blogger.