A Little Bit of Heaven

There’s one act that makes me feel heavenly. It is when I wear comfortable or “pambahay” clothes while sleeping with a background music which is a sweet old love song. It would be on a warm afternoon, after I finish drinking milk. I sleep near the window where the sun’s rays would illuminate my face. The view that can be seen on the window is a clear sky with little cottony-soft clouds that add to the mellowness of the moment. I would be hugging my teddy bear or just a pillow, and I would feel vulnerable and comfortable like a child again.

Wearing light and flashy clothes could make us attract attention throughout the daylight, but at the end of the day, we will still go back to our baggy shirts and pajamas. Wearing uncomfortable apparel is just an act to abide with the norms of the society or to please the world, but our bodies truly seek the comfort provided by a light and cottony fabric.

Sweet old love songs are now very rare, but I always hear them when I was young. It was way back in the 90s, wherein the music was still so innocent. Although I was already exposed to Britney Spears’ “Baby One More Time” and other songs that paved the way to indecent pop, it was compensated by my childhood memories of listening to Westlife’s “My Love,” Shania Twain’s “From This Moment On,” Boyzone’s “Every Day I Love You,” M2M’s “Pretty Boy,” and so on. I remember lying alone on a wooden bench outside our old house, staring at the coconut trees with their leaves dancing on the clear blue sky while an invisible radio (I didn’t know where it was placed) was playing John Denver’s “Leaving on a Jet Plane.” Perhaps that was how I got my idealism and “romantic” nature.

Drinking milk has been a habit, especially before going to sleep, since we were infants. It is comforting, nourishing, and it makes us drowsy. Drinking milk may also be subconsciously encouraging, for we were reassured by our mothers that it would help us grow bigger; and if we have already grown bigger, then we could be ready to face life’s challenges bravely.

Although I have always been irritated by turned on electric fans, it’s comforting to feel the breeze coming from it when it feels like the dehydrated ground could already crack into pieces because of too much heat. I am used to the tropical climate of this country, and I am the type of person who would die in winter.

I love having the sun’s rays upon my face because the sun affects my mood and makes me sunny too. The afternoon sun invites me to frolic on the meadows and lulls me to sleep at the same time because it is gentler compared to the noon sun.

I don’t really love teddy bears and stuffed toys except for the baby pink ones (which match the girly color of my bedroom), but I am deeply attached to my childhood toys especially those have always been with me when I sleep.

I love seeing a clear sky, without any intrusion of clouds especially the gray ones, because for me it suggests innocence, like a child without any evil streak, and still ignorant of people’s selfish ways. Children often draw blue skies, and very rare are the cloudy or stormy skies in their drawings, because all they care about are having gleeful and carefree moments. For them, every day is a sunny day.

Despite all of my complicated explanations, that heavenly act is just sleeping. I do not reckon myself lazy, but many people lack sleep because of their worldly reasons. When I sleep on a peaceful environment, I feel like fairies are sprinkling magic dust on me, my guardian angel is holding a sword upward on my side ready to protect me, and a few chubby cherubs are playing music of a heavenly lullaby around me. Heaven on earth for me is going back to our comfort zone, not caring about the world, and having a little nostalgia of our beautiful childhood. 


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