The Ugly Duckling Phase

I am not so certain whether all of us go through this horrible stage in our lives (normally during puberty or adolescence), because there are people who are accidentally blessed by nature to be born beauties and remain just like that throughout their lives, while some find themselves to be ugly ducklings – despised by the society for their weird looks, having their hearts wounded by people who tell them that they’re ugly, and suffering from very low self-esteem – only to find out later on that they’ve grown up to be very beautiful swans.

I was a cute toddler back then, and I felt that I was the prettiest when I was 8, for several of my male classmates made their interest known. When I turned 9, I felt like someone put a nasty spell on me because it was the start of my ugly phase. I found myself the ugliest when I was in sixth grade (12 years old) wherein a lot of breakouts surrounded my whole oily face, the fats in my body probably didn’t know their right places, my hair was always tied in a low ponytail, and my skin was awfully dark. It lasted until I was 16, which explains why I haven’t lived my high school life to the fullest. My ugly phase lasted for eight years, which is undeniably a very long time.

It was very hard to live during those years. I personally think that I was reincarnated to search for my soul mate, which proves why I first got infatuated at the early age of four. Having been a Plain Jane, or rather, genuinely hideous, it was hard to be not taken seriously by guys and occasionally get rejected. It lowered my already low self-esteem. It was hard to live with other adolescents, who were rather very superficial and egoistic. No one really cared about this ugly little lady.

But look at just how my beloved Britney Spears grew up to be a very pretty lady:

Don’t get me wrong – I have no purpose of bragging, but right now, people often tell me how attractive and aesthetically pleasing I am. It feels delightful that even strangers say how pretty you are. Sometimes, people I have just met already ask for my number. My relatives often exclaim about how pretty I’ve become, how I look like a movie star, and that they think I presently have many suitors laying their hearts on my feet. Well, I have finally gained handsome suitors – but I can’t say that my love life has gotten very good, for I often accidentally involve myself into forbidden affairs. The fact that I have finally gotten out of the ugly phase and seen its results gives me an ego boost, but my heart can't escape from being terribly tattered.

Some people say that young people who are naturally handsome at very early ages tend to have their beauty fade quickly, some people who look pretty normal and don’t undergo the ugly phase don’t have much improvement, while ugly ducklings take their time to be ugly and will just surprise you one day when they suddenly turn incredibly gorgeous that you’ll regret you’ve bullied them years ago. Lots of celebrities were ugly ducklings once, like Taylor Swift and Audrey Hepburn. Just imagine how exquisitely beautiful they have become!

Some of us may have experienced those times wherein just looking at the mirror is a complete visual torture, and we avoid looking at mirrors so as to avoid hating ourselves too. I know that going through the ugly phase is definitely embarrassing and awkward, but wait until you reach the peak of manhood or womanhood. Our bodies and faces are naturally changing over time, and although these changes aren’t really pretty to look at, the real you will finally show years later. We just have to trust Father Time to take care of all these things. If you are currently going through this, just accept the fact that you are still very young and you still have lots of time in your hands. Just focus on improving your mind, body, and character, and let time expose your real beauty when it’s already the right time for you to blossom. 

Please also read my poem which is about this topic: The Last Bud

Daughter of Venus

When I first laid my eyes upon this lovely maiden, I instantly realized how the world possesses so much mystery. Like a child unexposed to the real cruelty of the world, she was toddling with her simple clothes of cotton on while indulging her eyes with the serene sights of lofty trees, cows eating grass, goats wandering about, and a lush rice field. I could not have noticed her as any ordinary person passing by, but my heart at once recognized one goddess in disguise. 

I was tempted to touch her long locks with lots of hazel curls. She had a frail and delicate frame which made me want to hug her. I wanted to touch that pretty face with an entrancing childlike smile and chubby cheeks like that of adorable cherubs. She had small rose-red lips that you’d like to kiss or see laughing. She’s got pretty expressive eyes that hints what a sensitive soul she is, as if an ounce of harshness could already draw tears from her. She’s a rare precious jewel that I wanted to keep for myself forever. 

I knew that she was more than the sum of her parts, but every little thing that made her up was already bewitching by itself. She also had an amazing glow when the sun kisses her, as if the gods had told the sun and the wind to go easy on their precious girl. Every creature, whether male or female, had to stare on this well-sculpted beauty. Her origins were a mystery to every mind, because she seemed like one of the daughters of Aphrodite whom she scattered all over the Earth to compensate for the monstrous elements which had escaped Pandora’s box. 

To some people, she seemed like a fancy doll brought into life. She looked like a true descendant of Eve, capable of causing a man’s downfall behind those trusting eyes. It’s as if she had gulped some kind of a “water of life,” because her unfathomable existence embodies beauty and youth. There could be no perfect example of those two words combined into one. She was one of nature’s mysteries best left a mystery.

To Dodge a Male's Touch

            Sometimes we have to choose between integrity and our wanton desires, and that certain decision that we’d make would utterly determine our level of stupidity. I have been single for about thirteen months now, so you can infer that I have already been desperately craving for a lover. Of course I’m not as slutty as you think – I just want to have someone of the opposite sex to go on fun dates, like any typical teenage girl would want.

            It’s beautiful how completely different were the two sexes made by God, and at the same time how they perfectly complement each other like the Chinese concept of yin and yang. It’s wonderful how we are wired biologically to get attracted to the species of the opposite sex, that sometimes, if the mind is not guarded, we could accidentally drift into reveries of carnal lust. With our generation now being so modern and liberal, it wouldn’t already surprise us when we learn that our common friends in Facebook who enjoy showcasing pictures of PDA alone in their rooms have been committing countless times acts of fornication. Sometimes, couples strolling in the parks trigger feelings of jealousy in single people like me, but I guess I’m better off this way. I know that these young couples are unconsciously destroying their youthful lives anyway.

            I have reflected on how silly young relationships are, which really deserve to be called puppy love, because until the male and female are fully ready – equipped with wisdom, physical maturity (yes, I’m referring to the beautifully sculpted bodies of people on their twenties), financial stability, and guidance of the Lord, the shallowness and childishness of people would eventually lead their special friendships to breakups. Young couples just go with the desires of their hearts, mistaking attraction as love, and delving into forbidden intimacy because of mere curiosity. The hallowed cave to the woman’s womb gets defiled sooner, which also puts filth to the soul. The bodies are as fruits that get rotten before they even ripen. The accumulated love in the heart which is supposedly for the chosen one by the Creator, who knew beforehand who our other halves are, are lessened each time we jump from one lover to another. It’s a bit hard to admit that our elders are often right, especially when they say that there’s no need to rush because love comes at the right time.

            I just pondered on how ridiculous it is to have your parents worry about where to get large amounts of money to feed you and pay for your tuition fees while you worry about your clothes, skin, pimples, scent, and how to get your own boyfriend. Some people who have no long term goals in life worry daily about all these frivolity. Admittedly, when I was still in high school, I was fanatical about destiny, soul mates and all these love shit. After being tired of getting these silly heartaches and having given by God more than a year of being single to reflect on what to really do with my life, I realized that men are just humans blessed with holy swords that can harm you. Coming in contact with them would impregnate you with their little devices called penises. Guys around my age are just little boys with manly bodies. They don’t really know what they want. Trusting your whole being with boys still stuck in immature ages would only lead to remorse. If there is one man whom we should build an intimate relationship with at this age and time, it is Jesus.

            There cannot be a complete existence of beauty in union between the man and the woman until they’ve grown to the age especially designated for intimacy and sexual reproduction. While we still have some strange feelings felt in the presence of any member of the opposite sex (esp. an attractive one), it is normal and hormonal. We don’t have to follow our hearts always because hearts don’t think. Any man with overflowing masculinity can attract any feminine woman, especially a frail and vulnerable one, but we don’t always have to act upon our feelings. Even a criminal can pass your standards for a romantic mate by being accidentally handsome and masculine. Love is not just all about attraction. It is a divine thing; it is something that brings bliss to the soul, and not satisfaction to the body. Anyone can give you bodily pleasure, but someone has to be exceptionally special to touch your heart.

            There is a right time for everything, and everything can be tested through time. Being pleased by a man’s single touch and instantly giving in to the whims of the moment is filthy. A lovely maiden in the sight of God is not one to do these things of superficiality in nature. Being given these bodies as the temple of the Holy Spirit, we should be clean inwardly and outwardly and save ourselves for someone or something that’s worth waiting. I don’t hate men, but I’ve realized that at this young age, I think I should just treat them as butterflies flying around and landing on attractive flowers. I shall be one of those lovely flowers someday for I’m still a bud right now, and I’d be glad to let one of them suck my nectar forever. 

Bathtub Caress

            I was facebooking and someone very special messaged me. He apologized for ignoring me because he had to focus on his studies. It was a very lame excuse, I thought; nevertheless, it felt good that he apologized. I don’t demand anything from men anyway – it’s just the communication that’s very essential to me. Not having talked to me for quite a long time, even sending me a short and insignificant piece of note already pleased my gloomy heart.

            Then all of a sudden, I found myself in a very complex apartment. It had no uniform design – in one corner the walls were made of gold, and in another corner the walls were made of glass. It also had myriad stairways, elevators, and escalators. The physical appearance of the place is somehow vague in my mind, but I remember clearly that my purpose there was to search for the guy whom I was talking about earlier. I could hear his voice ordering me to find him but I couldn’t tell in what direction his voice came from. I tried using all of the stairways, escalators, and elevators that I could see; I have met many strangers but he isn’t one of them. I don’t know how I came to know that some people I’ve met there were talking about him, and that some of them know him personally. I also felt in my heart that he was near, and that he was waiting for me to come like a damsel in distress waiting for her prince charming. I also couldn’t believe how gender roles have switched in such a very short time. 

            I tried asking people where he was. I went wherever they pointed their fingers but they kept on pointing the wrong directions. However, I couldn’t hear the mysterious voice anymore. I was only pretending that someone was still trying to encourage me to go on and find him. I hunted and hunted for the fucking boy, until I decided to start at the bottommost part of the building. And – hooray! I found him there, standing, like a damned soul burning in a pit of hell. He wasn’t very excited to see me, and we just actually exchanged casual hi’s. What a great way to greet someone you haven’t seen for a long time! It felt like I’ve perspired for nothing. 

            Then suddenly, I found myself inside a bathtub, greedily holding his godlike body. We talked about the feelings we had which we weren’t able to say when we first met. We held each other like we’d never again let go. We were both naked and covered with soap suds. I felt like Cleopatra embracing my Mark Antony. It was really blissful: getting to touch every skin cell of his bronze physique and having him touch me back with his gentle fingers. Sometimes he was kissing my neck; other times I was pecking on his handsome face. I remember seeing clearly his strong neck while he was muttering in pleasure. I remember telling my diary a year ago that the attraction between us was so intense even though we just started to know each other, but little did I know that it was this kind of attraction. 

            Being chaste but curious, I took the opportunity to take a look at his holy sword. I looked down on his groin and cleared the soap suds and – voila! It wasn’t the size of a pinkie – it was one-third of my pinkie! Oh my goodness. But yes, it was cute, like that of a baby. Clearly I was disappointed, so I woke up with a grumpy expression. I was late for my eight-thirty class.

Marimar and Maria

My true self is Marimar. Most people here, especially my friends, call me Marimar, although my name is Anthea. Marimar is a happy girl who loves to be surrounded by people and have their attention. Some of her friends say that her presence is just for entertainment purposes. Sometimes, people do not take her seriously. She hates being bored; and when boredom strikes, she is prone to getting her friends’ attention, probably just to play with, even if they’re tired or busy. She also loves going outdoors especially in the afternoons when the sun still shines but its heat is still mild, and the wind blows through her face and curly hair. She loves to hug her friends, especially her roommates. She is very feminine, and is not afraid to show it. She is also labeled as being a “baby” by her boarding housemates. She is very romantic and innocent when it comes to the matters of the heart. Marimar does not have evil thoughts. She voices out everything, even the shallowest of her thoughts. She loves chitchatting. She is an optimistic and confident girl, because she believes that she is as pretty as the goddesses of Mount Olympus. She is a natural flirt, but is very far from being a prostitute. The most exact definition of her is a typical innocent teenage girl. Imagine Britney Spears when she was still on her teens, or during her “Baby one more time” and “Oops I did it again” days.

However, Maria, my alter ego, is different. She just suddenly takes over my being usually under negative circumstances. She is very, and unusually, silent. She also walks slowly and silently. She does not wear a smile on her face – or if she does, it is usually forced. Maria is very sad, miserable, and angry. She does not like to socialize. She just does things on her own, and hates to be disturbed. She doesn’t look others in the eye; but if she does, or if she has to, people would see the fieriness in her eyes. Her aloofness and coldness does not indicate calmness – in fact it is quite the opposite. Maria’s soul is in red-hot flames of inferno. This negative calmness felt in Maria’s aura is just a wall built between her and others to prevent any chaos. Marimar’s passion is still owned by Maria, but is turned into a negative one. Usually, Maria comes up when I am provoked. Marimar is really patient and tolerant, and may also disregard the negative intentions of people, so the degree of fury has to be very high for Maria to come up. Maria usually hurts people through words alone; but when it is not enough, she resorts to violence. She is very impulsive and brutally honest. She has a tendency to get knives but her glare alone is murderous. Maria forgets all the happy memories she had with the people who hurt her and is hungry for vengeance right away. However, after Maria has released her rage, he immediately returns back to Maria and usually forgets anything that has happened. 


Of Genes and Society

            Every individual is unique as they are molded by the traits they inherited, their personal decisions in life, and their environment. It is nice to know that who we are isn’t only a product of heredity for the traits that we have gotten from our parents and ancestors are just luck if they happened to be good, and misfortune if they happened to be bad, like a chronic heart disease for example. I am personally glad of the traits I have gotten from my parents as evidences that we are related, and of the traits that I have gotten anywhere from the environment around me as I am still forming who I really am and who I really want to be to cope with this identity crisis that most teenagers like me are experiencing. 

            I am a self-proclaimed Plain Jane since I was still a little girl, and the earliest evidence of it was when people were starting to compare me to my little sister. She gained more favors from the people around us just because she was cuter, and it took a long time for me to accept that fact. Every girl believes that she is pretty, you know. And that’s the truth. When we were little girls, I remember my Mama tell us how pretty she was in her college days, and how many her suitors were. I had ten boyfriends, she said, and that was too much for us. Admittedly, I was a bit pressured by it because she is my mother and she was so attractive when she was a young maiden, and I wanted to become like her. My Papa, however, isn’t that good-looking. I can assure you that. But I won’t say that he is ugly either, because I love him. Being a Plain Jane because of my father can be okay sometimes, but girls just want to be pretty always. It’s just the way we are designed. However, our society undeniably highly regards beauty and the opposite happens to those who lack beauty. Beautiful people were always perceived as good, talented, and intelligent even though that’s not always the case, so I started getting conscious of my appearance when I enrolled here in UP. I guess this is also a side effect of being a teenager – wanting to have a boyfriend and all, experience dyeing your hair, buying clothes that match your taste, and so on. I believe I am a late bloomer. I am not actually boasting, but having lots of people say how pretty or attractive you are would make you think of yourself the same way too, right? So that’s what happened. I was born simple and plain, but my environment pushed me to become like Britney Spears. I am a big fan of Britney Spears, by the way. And way back in my elementary days, I wanted so much to be like her. 

            I am also a shy girl. When I was a little girl, I couldn’t afford to face strangers. I don’t like interacting with them. I always hide in my room for hours whenever there’s a visitor in the living room. Shyness is also a problem when you have talents, for you are prone to be belittled often because no one knows about your capabilities. The people who always have their own way are those who are not ashamed to show anything, and the problem with shy people is that they can only look at those people with envy. My shyness was also paired with perfectionism. I didn’t like to risk trying because I was shy and so afraid of committing mistakes. I was afraid of ridicules that follow erring. There were plenty of workshops and high school activities that may have banished this restricting flaw of mine, but only in UP was it gone. Of course it wasn’t gone completely, but I have gotten out of my shell because of the liberated and carefree ways of UP students. My environment now taught me to be true to myself and show who I really am, although my past and present self may be contradicting. Sometimes you’ll never know who you really are until you are pushed by the society to reveal your true colors. 

            I truly had a feminine nature for as a little girl, I already loved pink with all my heart. I also loved Blossom from the Powerpuff Girls. Bubbles may be cuter, but I loved Blossom’s long hair with a ribbon and her pink dress. However, I turned tomboyish as I grew up, and I started to despise pink and replace it with blue because of “public opinion” in our elementary school that pink lovers were kikays. I also thought that shying away from your femininity was cool. Before, I was a dorky girl who always wore her hair in a low ponytail. I really did look like a loser. A pimply loser. However, when I started reading the classic novels, especially those with settings in the Victorian era, I started to realize how endangered feminine ladies were nowadays. Also, I am a fan of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Cleopatra despite their seductive ways for they really did know how to make use of their femininity very well. I’m lucky to have a hair that’s naturally straight on top and curly at the bottom. I also love my petite figure. These physical traits are actually typical in those damsels in distress. Therefore, those classic books and internet articles on “how to be a lady” taught me to embrace my femininity again. Sometimes I don’t even realize how “pa-girl” I am. People just say it. Probably it’s because unconsciously our thoughts become our actions. 

            I also believe that my creativity is innate, for as a child, I already loved to draw and color them. I could finish doodling in two pads of paper in a day. I also loved scavenging for anything to read inside the house. I also loved to dance in girly tunes (e.g. songs of Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera) and sing in our karaoke the songs like “How Do I Live” by Trisha Yearwood. My love for the arts (both visual and performing) and literature came from my mom, although her passion for these things wasn’t as intense as mine. My passion for these things was ignited by high school projects and contests, as well as leisure. Also, my “intelligence” was believed by my parents to have come from my grandfather, for neither my father nor my mother excelled that greatly when they were still schooling. They were just as relaxed as my little sister. I also believe that this “intelligence” that I possess did not come from me or my efforts alone, for it just happened that from kindergarten until college, I got enrolled to competitive schools that offer high-quality education. I was just also influenced by my classmates who excel in their own fields of specialization. 

            I also have my own imperfections: a bad temper, absentmindedness, and stubbornness. I think I got my bad temper from my mom who kept on voicing out her little annoyances from time to time. I can be maldita sometimes, and most of teenage girls are. Before, I get easily offended. However, now that I live with different kinds of people in this diverse university, I’ve learned to control my emotions and be tolerant of other people. Living in a dorm or boarding house gave me a charming disposition, a smiley face, and patience that you would normally give an annoying little brother or sister. My absentmindedness is something I feel like I’ll have forever. I have trouble concentrating on a certain thing, because I am easily distracted by anything. I have a short attention span like that of a three-year-old. My head is just always in the clouds, and I often catch myself staring into space. Because of this, I often embarrass myself and make big scenes in the quiet lives of people. I usually have a hard time getting over humiliations, but this time, I’m glad that people just regard them as funny commercials in the midst of their serious lives. My stubbornness is something that I had ever since I was little. This quality was stuck on me, for my Mama always call me “tigas-ulo”. It was a negative thing when I was still a toddler, but now I find it very essential. I really have a very tight grip on my unpopular beliefs and principles, and as long as my reasons are right in my eyes, no one can influence me to change what I believe in. I was actually influenced by my chosen religion (not Roman Catholic) to fight for what I believe in. But I am a Christian. Religion is just a very sensitive topic to talk about, whatever the circumstances are.

            I guess 50% of my traits are inherited, and 50% of them are from the influence of my environment. Inherited traits are good proofs of belonging to a certain family, and are good stuff to begin with in forming our own selves to what we wanted ourselves to be. Anything that’s natural in you besides your good looks is good because that’s how God designed you to be. He already picked out our initial traits, that’s why He knew us even before we were born. It’s a nice thing that we were given free will to decide for ourselves on how we wanted to complete ourselves. Knowing that the choice of friends, institutions, and environment would greatly affect our behavior, then the “nurtured” part of us is a choice. Each of us is a product of parental genes and societal influences. 

(Psych10 paper about Nature vs. Nurture)

Where His Love is Written

Back to the antediluvian times, everything was fine. The green foliage of the trees, dewy grass, dainty flowers, clean air, lofty mountains, crystal clear water, chirping birds, playing animals, and swimming fishes were still freshly sculpted by the hands of a Supreme Being. Everything was good until the passage of thousands of years paved the way for the intense booming of the human population and the advancement of technology which permanently degraded our natural environment.

Environmental problems are seen everywhere around us, but are often ignored because of people’s indifference – they prefer to give more attention to their own selfish desires. The Earth is now full of nasty things like air pollution, water contamination, soil erosion, global warming, ozone layer depletion, human overpopulation, deforestation, extinct and endangered species, and so on. While some of the causes are natural, like volcanic eruptions, humans still have a big part in damaging the earth. Oftentimes, overpopulation gets blamed for many environmental problems; but the advancement of technology has a big transgression too. People think that technology will make their lives easier but all those factories that cause air pollution, refrigerators that produce CFC, and fancy perfumes will actually help ruin their lives later on.

Being a literature student, I deeply appreciate studying environmental science. Lots of popular and unknown authors get inspiration from nature in their writings. Sometimes, just looking at nature is already poetic. They give us a sense of security, awe, and beauty that no words can ever describe. The Creator’s love for man is written upon every pretty flower perfuming the air, every dog waiting for you all day to be patted affectionately, every shoot of grass, every sparkling drop of water, and every little thing that testifies His desire to make His children happy. Studying environmental science is a great way to realize this. Subtly, like literature, environmental science has its own way of turning our heads to the beautiful things in life.

“And God said, Let us make man in our image, after our likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the sea, and over the fowl of the air, and over the cattle, and over all the earth, and over every creeping thing that creepeth upon the earth. And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the sea, over the fowl of the air, and over every living thing that moveth upon the earth.” – Genesis 1:26, 28

Studying environmental science reminds us of stewardship, which is a theological belief that humans are responsible for the world, and we should take care of it. We should at least show our gratitude for nature’s duty of letting us live gleefully while enjoying its beauty. We belong to nature, just as nature belongs to us. We must save our planet because the destruction of Mother Nature will certainly lead to the destruction of human race too.

(an essay assignment in EnviSci10)

Jealousy among Girls

But Snow-white was growing up, and grew more and more beautiful; and when she was seven years old she was as beautiful as the day, and more beautiful than the Queen herself. And once when the Queen asked her looking-glass --
"Looking-glass, Looking-glass, on the wall,
Who in this land is the fairest of all?" it answered --
"Thou art fairer than all who are here, Lady Queen."
But more beautiful still is Snow-white, as I ween."
Then the Queen was shocked, and turned yellow and green with envy. From that hour, whenever she looked at Snow-white, her heart heaved in her breast, she hated the girl so much.
And envy and pride grew higher and higher in her heart like a weed, so that she had no peace day or night. She called a huntsman, and said, "Take the child away into the forest; I will no longer have her in my sight. Kill her, and bring me back her heart as a token." The huntsman obeyed, and took her away; but when he had drawn his knife, and was about to pierce Snow-white's innocent heart, she began to weep, and said, "Ah dear huntsman, leave me my life! I will run away into the wild forest, and never come home again."
(an excerpt from “Little Snow-White” by the Grimm Brothers)

Snow White

During your teenage years, you may have some girlfriends and probably have heard them rant about some other girl whether she’s close to her or not. Girls backstab each other. And you may have heard something like this: “Oh, I hate this life. Why does every guy like her? Why do people always say that she’s pretty? She isn’t even pretty at all, with all honesty. Well…yeah, she’s pretty all right, but it’s not like she’s suited to join a beauty pageant! I actually think I’m prettier than her. YOU are also prettier than her. I hate how she gets all the attention. I hate how I study *very* hard while I get only B’s but she gets A’s effortlessly. This must be a matter of favoritism. Oh, I hate this life! I hate that girl! I wish she gets ugly, she’s too perfect!”

You may also have that one girlfriend whom the mean girls love to pick on and says something like this: “I am not doing anything to them! Can they just mind their own businesses? Even my own friends hate on me while I’m just being a good friend. Sometimes I also feel that I’m just getting used and when I confide my problems to them, it’s still me who gets judged. Fake friends! Can you believe this? I can’t believe that they’re talking about me behind my back and spread untrue gossips about me. Even my suitors get affected and my image to them is already ruined. But…they aren’t worth my time anyway. They’re probably insecure of themselves when I’m around. I’m innocent – and all I know is that I’m pretty, intelligent, and talented. THEY’RE JUST JEALOUS.”

Ah. Girls and their dramas.

While people, especially boys, may just see these incidents as melodramas, they happen in real life and are worse than what you know. In the world of women, jealousy is always present. Whether they admit it or not, there is always, always, ALWAYS a silent competition among them. Fairy tales may be partly to blame because Disney princesses are always beautiful, and gets handsome princes. Society always esteems women who are beautiful, intelligent, rich, and talented – in short, women who stands apart from others. Growing up, girls have women whom they admire. Take me for example: I loved Britney Spears since I was a child, and admired her beauty, talents, charm, and nice body. I even remembered myself say, “Oh, I want to be like her when I grow up! And when I become like her in the future, I’m sure that many men will be laying their hearts on my feet.” One very true fact about girls is that every girl wants to be the most beautiful and charming of all women – if not, to be the woman who is coveted by every man in the planet. That, whether they admit it or not, is the truth.

I’m going to give my honest opinion about this. I have knowledge in this matter because I’ve been in this situation before. There are girls who live quietly, mind their own businesses, love their friends, and think of the world as friendly but this innocent perspective of theirs gets ruined because of people who get unfriendly to them for no reason at all. Some people talk behind their backs and point out their flaws. Some people even spread gossips about them. Some people even dare to ruin their personal lives like ruining the girl’s image on her suitor or discouraging her about love matters. Some people just glare at them for no reason at all. These circumstances definitely worries a girl and makes her think about what’s wrong with her or think of anything that she has done wrong. These circumstances cause paranoia. These cause the girl to cry at night and think that the world is against her. These deeply hurt the heart more than you can imagine. These surely give every girl a terrible feeling and a negative psychological effect on her. Sometimes, they just think that they’re jealous because they’re pretty, talented, and something like that. While it may be true, it doesn’t mean that those girls are conceited. Sometimes it’s just their way of consoling themselves. I personally think that although the lives of pretty girls may seem perfect, it’s hard for them to live in this world because there are evil eyes around them that would desperately want to witness their downfall for their beauty and whatever they got causes jealousy and hatred that is hard to bear for some people.

Admit it, you get jealous too. You get jealous of someone who’s better-looking, richer, or smarter than you. But perhaps it depends on what kind of person you are. If you pride yourself for being a belle, you may get jealous of the woman who’s more beautiful than you are and who has the potential to steal the attention away from you. If you pride yourself for being good at painting, you may get jealous of someone who paints better than you. If you’re the type who loves to get complimented and praised and cares a lot about the approval of other people, the person who seems to be almost perfect and definitely gets all of the praises you want for yourself may cause you jealousy. That’s life. Jealousy is part of human nature, they say. However, not all people get jealous and some people get jealous easily. And although some people may say that jealousy is normal, it’s not a good thing at all because it ruins relationships. Sometimes, the silent treatment or awkward treatment alone that your friend may give you because of a feeling of slight jealousy is a dangerous thing that may lead the two of you to be ex-friends.

I don’t know how boys get jealous of each other, but I know that it’s very different from girls. Girls can get very phony with each other (which is so annoying) because they are always in silent competition and no one wants to admit that they’re insecure or envious. Some girls try hard to surpass that girl who triggers their jealousy but fail anyway so they have no choice but to hate. When someone hates you for no reason at all, there is a big possibility that that person is jealous of you. Hate actually comes from the bitter feeling that someone has something that you want for yourself but you don’t have. Hate also comes from feeling helpless but you don’t want to feel that way – for example: In a group of friends, you expect to be the prettiest. However, when one of your friends, who’s undeniably prettier than you, suddenly goes with you, you suddenly feel that the male species around are eyeing on her and your friends’ attention is on her. That makes you feel inferior but you can’t do anything. Therefore, you had no choice but to just hate her.

Personally, I despise people who are easily jealous. I hate people who get jealous on their friends. A true friend is happy for her friend, not wanting to surpass her in any way. I hate people who let people down and get sarcastic to the person they are jealous of. That’s just too desperate. It really ruins relationships. I mean, why can’t they be contented with themselves? If they’re too jealous, why won’t they spend time making themselves better than hating on someone? Haters make the world a more forlorn place. I have read in a forum somewhere that the father of her husband once said, “Never befriend ugly people. They are born with angst in the world.” The word “ugly” is kind of harsh, but I slightly agree with the statement (just replace the word ugly). I guess it really refers to people who are insecure with themselves. Most insecure people don’t know how to handle their insecurities. Instead of making themselves better, they just put people down to feel good about themselves. Nothing changes on their traits by doing that – they’re just harming people and making known to them their bad self-image. Although girls don’t fight physically for petty things, they hate and hate and hate and that alone hurts the heart more than you could ever imagine. Who said that being a girl was so easy?
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