I wanna be independent.

I wanna have my own laptop. I wanna have my own house. I wanna have my own EVERYTHING. Pretty much everything. I don't wanna depend on others. It makes them abuse you, just because you owe them something. They'll remember what they did for you, and may blackmail you for it. I don't want that. However, it's inevitable. They say that you can't trust anyone but yourself. Well, it's just so true. Even your most trusted friend can betray you. No one is forever safe. This life really pushes me to be a realist. They say that you need to be practical; but when practicality already comes to your head, I tell you - it really sucks. For me, realism is equivalent to pessimism. Maybe that's the reason why innocent children are always better than adults.

If only I could, I would be independent right at this moment. Based on my experience, people get kinda irritated when I ask help from them. Being dependent, it makes me feel stupid. I wanna do things on my own and upgrade the skills that I have to the highest level. I also get irritated at people who depend on me (which means that dependence on certain things is one quality that I hate about myself). Some people are just plain abusive. Some people ask me to do things for them ENDLESSLY maybe because they saw one time my kindness. Sorry, but that's just not who I am.

I wanna be independent. I wanna be powerful. I don't want others to step on me.


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