Strength or Stupidity


Is holding on a sign of strength or stupidity?

I've always pondered about this thing, but until now I haven't come up with an answer. I've thought that holding on is foolish because I endure the pain despite the uncertainty regarding the reciprocity of my love, but letting go is foolish too because it isn't easy for me to trash our love story. Okay, maybe I'm really dimwitted. The heart must be hearkened more in the matters of love. Well, that's my belief. Even the seemingly perfect love stories contain heartaches. However, an adult advised me that a relationship shall have more bliss than grief. Gosh, I feel dizzy.

I don't know if I should listen now to my female instincts or completely ignore it because I might just be paranoid. Is a sixteen-year-old girl matured enough? I may love immaturely but I love way too much. I don't know what will happen when maturity comes to me. I might be too busy for love then and not be an attention whore anymore. Is this what guys want? If I get too busy, they will surely get enough space. Holding on and letting go is still too hard for me. If I could just go back to my mother's womb, I really would. I am still too sensitive and prone to crying over small heartaches.

You know what? I guess I'll stick to being stupid. I'll endure the pain that love gives to test my strength. I'm just beginning to learn how to love. I'm just beginning to understand the true nature of trust, understanding, and pure love. And when the time comes when we shall be officially apart, at least my relationship with him taught me many things along with the hardships. I am both strong and stupid.

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