The Beauty of Sadness

Beauty is in every thing - even in sadness. Yes, I know that it's a negative word, and you may wonder what the heck went on inside my skull. I actually got this idea from Backstreet Boys's "Shape of My Heart", and there is a line that goes like this: "Sadness is beautiful, loneliness is tragical." After a few hours of pondering, I was convinced that sadness is really beautiful.

Whenever I feel sad, I listen to sad but beautiful musical pieces that never fail to make me sadder. The sadness that I feel becomes more intense, until I just burst into tears. Crying actually feels good. I like pouring out all the negative feelings that my heart feels until my eyes cannot produce tears anymore. When I'm sad, it's either I listen to sad melodies or I isolate myself and take some time to reflect. What's beautiful is the combination of silence and the way you feel. I find inner peace. Except for the good old memories, the moments where I get very sentimental are the most beautiful. I've got to separate myself from the physical world and get in touch with my own soul.

We have to accept sadness because it's a part of life. Without it, we cannot appreciate joy. Sadness inspires the artists to produce art from the terrible feelings that they feel. Maybe the fact that sadness accompanied by maudlin music separates me from the real world is what's beautiful. It is good to visit daydreamland once in a while. It's my way of escaping stress and pressures from the real world.

Sadness and depression are different. Try listening to Schubert Serenade to understand what I'm saying. Try having contact with nature too. Whenever you feel sad, remember that it's just temporary and don't hate yourself. We can't do anything about our emotions. Whatever challenges you face in your life, don't forget to pray because eventually, your frowns will turn into lovely smiles.


Once there was a girl named Philline
Who sat alone on a bench singin'
A slow love song that reminded her 
Of the romantic past with her handsome lover.

While she was sitting alone, reminiscing
A couple walked past her, sweetly kissing
To her surprise it was her ex-boyfriend
Having a sweet moment with his new girlfriend.

The sight of them really broke her heart,
She tried to forget but it's hard on her part,
She held back her tears but she couldn't help it
Poor Philline silently cries on her seat.

But the boy heard a familiar voice crying,
He looked behind and saw Philline weeping,
After two months passed their eyes finally met,
As she was wiping her cheeks so wet.

"Hey J*** what are you doing here?"
"Nothing, I'm just walking with my dear."
"Is that so? Good, have a happy day."
"Thank you, we're leaving - there's nothing to say."

Philline was left alone once again.
"This time I won't be hurt again by men,
I've learned my lesson, all guys are the same
I won't be like before who's easy to tame."

And once again this girl named Philline
Sat alone on a bench singin'
A slow love song that reminded her 
Of the romantic past with her handsome lover.


However dark, I love the night
Than daytime where there's too much light
I've sorrowful fate that's in my hands
That only the black sky understands.

At least at night there ain't too much noise
Less honking vehicles and irritating voices
And with the soothing nighttime breeze 
I find my heart and soul at peace.

When I'm faced with sorrow that tears up my soul
At least I have something to share my dark fate with
Wounds in my heart, as deep as a black hole
It seems like I'll have them for as long as I breathe.

No one understands me but the moon
Born at night, lonely and alone
So I'd like to feel true happiness soon
'Cause grief and anger turned my heart into stone.

True Love Waits - And Yes, It Exists

I believe in soul mates. I believe in forever. I believe in true love. I believe in destiny. Realistic people may disagree with me, but I don't really care. I won't lose hope because I'm still young. The right man will come when I am matured enough - when I'm emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually ready. Someday, my missing half will come to complete me. Yes, someday. That someday will surely come except if I die right away.

When Adam felt alone, God gave him a companion who is a woman named Eve. They complemented each other perfectly. They loved with a love that was more than love, remained faithful to each other, and stayed together until death parted them. If some people claim to have found their soul mates and are now happily married, I'm sure that I will too - someday. God has known me even before I was conceived; so when it comes to matters like this, he knows best. He knows who is best suited for me and he is yet to come someday because this is not yet the right time. Now all that I have to do is to prepare and wait patiently for the second coming of Jesus and for the coming of my other half in my life.

As early as now, I am already imagining what my soul mate and I will feel when we meet each other. There will surely be a strong unexplainable attraction. The feelings that we will have for each other would be pure love. We will never get bored with each other. We will always get butterflies whenever we're together, and will be perfectly happy even if we just sit together in silence. I believe that he will make me experience love at first sight. The attraction between us would be so intense that it would be impossible to separate us. We will instantly know that we are born for each other. We'll understand each other even if we say nothing at all. That's how I comprehend true love. I know that such thing exists, I just have to believe.

"Take delight in the Lord, and He will give you the desires of your heart." - Psalm 37:4

Honestly speaking, I don't really care about earthly things. As Helen Keller quoted, "The best and most beautiful things cannot be seen or ever touched - they must be felt with the heart." As a girl, I want to be protected, cherished, and feel love from a man. I strongly yearn for true love and the true happiness and peace that it brings to our soul. I don't really care about how high my grades are or the things that I have achieved or the beautiful things that I own. Vanity, pride, and power are trivial things that prevents us from the things that bring us true happiness. It is love that I long for, and the right man for me. For God knows that this is what my heart desires, I know that it will be given to me. someday.

As hard as it may seem for me, I will try to wait because I know that that man, whoever he is, is really worth the wait. I'm sure that Mr. Right would feel great when I tell him that I've tried to avoid flirting with other guys while I've waited faithfully for him. All the passionate love that burns inside me will remain in my heart even if I cannot hold it in anymore because I want to give it to the most special person who is yet to come in my life. He better watch out when I pour out all my affections to him because he'll surely be bloated. He'll never hunger for love, and he won't need to seek attention from other women. You better prepare too for my arrival into your life, my future spouse. :)

Never Get Tired of Loving.

Several people may hurt me, and they may be the ones whom I love/loved the most, but they won't make me bitter. Surely, I'd be angry and pathetic for a time but it'll pass, and I will have the need of giving love again. I had my first crush when I was three (I think it was Leonardo DiCaprio), and I've loved the idea of love since then. I guess I was born in this world to give love and long for it.

"There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made in perfect love."
1 John 4:18

When I talk about love, it can be about all kinds of love. usual, this is about romantic love. Even though I was a bit traumatized by some bad relationship experiences, I am not afraid to love again. It'll be unfair to my soul mate (or twin flame, if I really happen to have one) or to my future husband. I will love as if I am not afraid of getting hurt. I will love as if this is my last day on earth. I will love very passionately, because my soul is full of love. 

My heart may be destroyed in any way possible: crush it, throw it, stab it, or pound it - but eventually it will grow back to being whole again. I have said "I'll love you forever" to some former beaus and I guess I really mean it. We may have stopped communicating with each other now, but there is still love left for them - I know it when I see them. If they just say sorry and attempt to befriend me, I'll surely treat them well as a friend, and I'll do good things for them because I loved them, they once made me happy, and they have been written in my diary. 

My heart is currently on fire. It burns with so much love. I can feel it. It needs someone to be showered affections upon. You may say that I should be paying attention to my studies and not to crappy stuff like this. You are right, but I can't take this away from me. This is my nature, this is how God designed me.

"And now these three remain: faith, hope and love. But the greatest of these is love."
1 Corinthians 13:13

When I'm finally married to my future husband, I'll make sure that he will have no regrets. He will receive the greatest portion of love that I could ever give. I will be the most loving wife and mother, expressing my love for my future family in any way possible. And even though I am just this young, I am already envisioning my married life, and it will never be as miserable as others'. I will keep the peace and harmony at all costs. I will really make the man destined for me think that he is very lucky to have me. 
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