I am finally getting wiser in love!

I am proud of myself for trusting my instincts and making the right decision in the romance department. Recently, there was a man who still tried pursuing me even though I already rejected him. I met him at his workplace because I needed something to get processed. He got my number from the document that I filled up (it’s really not permitted) and he used his power in his workplace to give me that thing that I needed in just three days when most people would get that thing in over a month. We had dinner once and I found out that he was a nice guy. He was a former social science teacher too. However, he hid from me the fact that he already had two children in grade school. He isn’t married and he already broke up with his ex-girlfriend (the mother of his children) a long time ago so he thought it wouldn’t hurt to have a new girlfriend. I, however, only liked him as a friend. I like that he is smart, financially independent, responsible, serious, and older than me (we have a ten-year age gap). But, I wasn’t attracted to him. I wasn’t physically attracted to him and my heart can’t connect to him. We could only have intellectual conversations sometimes but they bore me too. He lectures me like a college professor and I openly show him my boredom. Sometimes I get the feeling that he’s showing off how smart he is so I could admire him even though he did not come from the same college as me (he really looks up to my university, the University of the Philippines).

image: degrassi.wikia.com

Because I have already experienced several times what it’s like to be pursued by men for only sexual reasons, I appreciate it when someone wants to have a serious relationship with me. When I think about it, aside from the fact the he already has children, he’s okay. But my heart just doesn’t want him. And I also see some subtle red flags. He doesn’t seem masculine enough for me. I feel like he wanted to appear talkative and confident to hide his weakness deep inside. He also didn’t think much about the future – he just wanted me to be his. I told him, “Imagine my father asking you what your plans for me are. What would you say to him?” He took a long time to answer and his answer was a lousy one. He didn’t have plans for me in the future. And I was so certain at that time that I wouldn’t be happy with him. He wasn’t my type and I don’t want any more complexities in my love life. I don’t want a man who has children who are not mine and I don’t want someone who still thinks of his ex-girlfriend while pursuing another girl.

I remember one time he told me he knew how to read people’s palms, so I asked him what my palm says about my future husband. He said that I don’t know him yet. We don’t know each other yet. And we would meet each other when he is already a professional. He is older than me. And he definitely isn’t a foreigner. He’s also a Filipino. Two other psychics told me that my future husband is someone who’s older, loves to travel, and is some kind of a professional (something like a lawyer, doctor, or someone who’s successful in a business of some kind). I knew he was telling the truth because two other people told me the same thing. He then told me, “Don’t reject me just because of that, please?” Later, he told me that he was that future husband. I know that he’s lying. He’s only significantly older than me but I know he’s not the one because I didn’t think that I can love him as more than a friend.

After I rejected him gently, he still tried to communicate with me. He kind of bothers me from time to time. He said he would wait until I was older. But then I started getting annoyed with him calling whenever he feels like it. I am not obligated to answer his calls because I am not his girlfriend. I somehow felt that he was already getting a bit possessive of me. So, I rejected him again kind of harshly, told him not to call, text, or chat me anymore. He still did after that, but I really ignored him. We’re both stubborn. So he finally gave up. And this was just two or three weeks ago.

A few days ago, I saw his Facebook timeline and he is getting lovey-dovey with his ex-girlfriend. I thought that he was definitely stubborn but perhaps he wasn’t that sincere. And since I always make foolish mistakes in love, I am proud of myself for having avoided another headache. I think I am finally getting wiser in love! Yay!

By the way, I noticed that this year, I have this pattern of getting involved with unavailable men (I usually don’t know about it until later). I think this pattern is reflecting something in my own life and I will make a separate blog post about that soon. Ciao!

Mass Murders (Dream)

image: tumblr.com
Me: I had a dream last night which left me confused because I feel like there’s nothing bad going on in my life right now…

I dreamt that I (with one or two people) was escaping the killings which were happening everywhere. I witnessed killings on the street, wherein the ordinary people walking are being shot. There is blood, so I tried to search for other roads where there are no killers. I was only running and not taking any transportation. It seems like any public place has killers. I had been to a place where there are many people and they are plotting about killing each other, including me. I could only think of escaping. It was really crazy. I had been to unusual and kind of secret places in my dream where I thought there were no killers.

Also I found myself surrounded by girls, and one of them offered to groom my eyebrows with an eyebrow pencil. The other girls were curious so they were around. I was satisfied with the eyebrows I ended up with, it was good.

And that’s all that I can remember. I really haven’t watched any news or any killings on Youtube, I was watching videos of two-year-olds so I don’t know why there were killings in my dream :/ What do you think? :(

Lawrence: Hi

The killings are really you not liking where you live and wherever you go you see negative situations with people you know. There would be no killings [in your dream] if you moved away to a new environment where you don’t have to see the same people who bother you; you can’t kill them off but you can move away from them though. The eyebrows is more of you wanting to look as pretty as you can no matter where you live.

That’s the best I can give you

Maybe you should move in the future


Singing in My Dream

image: nkayesel.wordpress.com

Me: Hello Lawrence good morning. :)) This is only a small part of what I remembered from my dream last night. I dreamt that I was with two female friends and we were doing something important. I felt like I was bored so I sang. I led them in singing. I sang Mariah Carey, etc. and my voice was good in my dream. But I feel like my two other friends were worried about what other people would think or something.

Then I suddenly heard someone singing behind us. They were Westlife, there were five of them, sitting with other common people. They were taking turns singing lines or stanzas of a song and there were times when they would sing together. I was hysterical. It was so beautiful to hear. They even had some dances and actions because they sang from their heart. It was really beautiful. And I was trying to sing too, I think. That was all that I can remember. :)

Lawrence: Hi A

Try writing your own song, write poetry lyrics and hum a tune to it, record it on your phone

Find a musician singer to record it for you, or you sing it, your soul wants to be heard

That’s my vibes


Jealous and Malicious Friend (Dream)

image: tenor.com
Me: Hello Lawrence. I dreamt that I had a friend who was so jealous of me but I was unaware of it at first. I know that person in real life – he was my classmate, a homosexual male. However, we don’t always interact with each other because we are not classmates anymore but we currently live in the same town as we are both finishing our studies.

In my dream, he was always with me and he was being friendly to me. Then my sister, alarmed, told me that this friend was doing nasty things to me without me knowing. She told me that he was only pretending in front of my face because he was so jealous of me, and no one else according to her. Now if he was also jealous of another person I would have felt okay but I felt threatened because it was only me. Then it started to show in the dream how he was being fake to me, how he was taking advantage of me, etc.

So I started avoiding him. But when I avoided him he really tried being with me again. He then started looking maliciously at me. I became so scared that I shut the door that he was trying to open, and he was struggling to open it to mess with my life. I really remember the word malice in the dream; I was the one thinking that he was full of malice towards me. (This part of the dream was really scary.)

I also remember a small part of my dream where I packed my things and left where I used to live happily because I felt betrayed that someone gossiped about me being a Protestant when I am actually a Roman Catholic.

Lawrence: Hi Anthea
Wow what a dream, it kinda means that you don’t trust people anymore, where at one time you used to trust people till they started talking behind your back.
Packing your bag means that you need to move to another city somewhere later on and develop new friends.
That’s the best I can give you, stay away from men and women you don’t trust is also the meaning.

My thoughts: It’s true that I don’t trust anyone anymore… Now I’m always questioning their motives in my mind, even my close friends. I always experience being betrayed both by people I don’t know and people that I used to really trust. And I am an open target for gossip by people who are maybe jealous or just have rotten souls that they get happy when someone’s reputation gets destroyed. Also, when some people stare at me in a hostile way (which is kind of rare, really) I am not surprised or hurt anymore. It is naïve to expect everyone in the world to be good. I can only toughen up because we will always run into people who have ill intentions toward us even though we are not doing anything wrong to them or to anyone. 

I Was Riding a Talking Camel (Dream)

I had a very interesting dream a few days ago, but I can only remember a small part of it clearly. I was with other people who were stressing me out. The ones I could remember was a guy I (kind of) rejected in real life and his siblings. They were telling me to give back the things that I got from him. So I did. And many more which I couldn’t remember.

Then I suddenly found myself riding a camel. I felt like riding a horse, but its head definitely looks like a camel. It was slow. It was walking slowly and goes wherever I wanted it to go. I wanted to just explore everywhere but the camel avoids some places with some people. The camel told me, “Do we really have to go there?” I found out that the camel does not like certain people because they were bad. So I did not force the camel where it did not want to go. It felt peaceful riding the camel because it was kind and liked to go slowly.

Then I saw my cousin in real life. I was holding a camera which was already containing many photos. I tried to take a picture of him but the camera always failed in taking his picture. And when I finally captured a picture successfully, I saw myself in the picture instead of him. It looked like me after a wedding ceremony (I’m not sure) because there were many people in the picture and I was happy and I was wearing a white midriff top like what Jasmine was wearing in Aladdin.

image: tumblr.com
I tried to look online about what a camel might mean in a dream and this is what I got:

A camel in your dream represents any kind of personal journey your mind and body are venturing into. Just like the camel that does not complain or stop on its journey, you too should have this attitude towards life. The camel does not mind rough terrain, because he has prepared. If you are prepared for anything, then everything will be okay in the end.
If you were riding the camel in your dream, and you successfully finished your trek, you are handling life’s journey just as you should. However, if you were riding the camel in your dream and you did not finish the journey, you are trying too hard to control what cannot be determined. You have taken life’s reigns and tried to steer them in your direction, but life will always be on its own path. There is only so much you can do to control your own destiny, but after that point you must let go of the reigns. Realize that you are not the controller of every little thing, because this will greatly decrease your stress levels.  
If you spoke with the camel, you were seeking advice about your future. This is a sign of good times to come, as your subconscious sought out the advice of the animal kingdom’s expert on life’s long journeys. Whether you can remember what was said or not, take it as a sign that you should heed any advice you receive in the near future that may help you with your current and future goals. – Auntyflo

When I dreamt about the camel, I was really experiencing lots of stressful things in real life. I felt like I was running out of time; and that if I did not hurry, my burden would be doubled. Also, it was interesting that the camel told me to avoid certain places or people because they were negative. I really needed to do that because there are controlling and pessimistic people in my life and I easily get affected by their negativity because I am an empath.

image: tumblr.com
Anyway, I also thought that the camel may be my spirit animal or something. Last time it was the jaguar. Now it feels like the camel would help me the most in my journey.

As humans, we at times face difficult challenges in life’s travel. Camels are the best source of inspiration and source for strength in the human life journey. They go through challenges of the long distance and life threatening landscapes with ease. We know that camels are well adapted to their task and this inspires us for energy or spiritual strength.  
When we are in the face of trouble during our journey as humans and eventually stumble, it’s important to remember the strength, stamina and enduring spirit of the camel. Our journey could be physical or spiritual but enigmatically, the camel has perfected in teaching us that long expeditions in very harsh terrain and long distance can be conquered. – Auntyflo

I told my psychic friend about this dream, as I believe that this is an important dream, and this is what he said:

Lawrence: So my vibes for you is to go to the toy store and buy a stuffed camel that appeals to you.
Or go to any store that you find one that is good to you. Take it home and put it near your bed or in bed near you. It means that your mind likes some animals, not all. But the camel moves slow and slow is good for you.
You don’t have to tell anyone you got the camel. The camel in the dream made you relax.
You showing up in the picture means that you need to focus on you alone, and no one else.
Get a plan going for your future.
Now get Mr. Camel :)

Venus Signs (Males)

The following descriptions of the Venus signs are only based on my personal experiences. You may choose to not take this seriously or personally, or you can find out for yourself if we have similar observations regarding the following Venus signs:

Pierce Brosnan, Venus in Aries. img: pinterest.com
Venus in Aries

This placement for a man is a bit frustrating for me. I had a former suitor and an ex-boyfriend with this placement. At first they can appear to be the dominant ones – but that’s just at first. They can be a bit impulsive when they have a crush on someone – they can make a move on you right away after just meeting saying that it’s love at first sight. Or crush at first encounter or whatever. Both men that I knew with this placement love flings. They’ve had lots of flings and they seem like (or are) playboys. You would think that first that they would be the ones who would lead throughout the whole relationship, but they actually want the woman to do that. And it’s a bit frustrating since they like the chasing phase, maybe not the going steady phase, that they could stir up some problems in order to have some excitement in the relationship. I had the most fights with my Venus in Aries ex LOL.

Venus in Taurus

These men love physically beautiful women. They are also very stubborn when it comes to who they want – if they decided that they want you, that’s it. They may pursue you forever and ever. I’ve rejected a Venus in Taurus and he does not know what giving up means. When he wants a woman, he is determined to get her. Even if you reject him, he will think that you will eventually fall for him. I also know another Venus in Taurus man who was rejected by the girl that he likes and went for her best friend for revenge. This Venus in Taurus is still in love with the girl who rejected him even though he has been with his girlfriend (the best friend of the girl he likes) for three years already. Also, they love sensual pleasures. If you are with a Venus in Taurus, you may notice that they are already touching you during the first date. They are cuddly. They are just very physical. And they would probably take you often to different restaurants as they love eating.

Venus in Gemini

The Venus in Gemini men that I have interacted with love talking, teaching, and showing off their intelligence lol. They are stimulated by interesting conversations. They don’t take love that seriously. They can forget you and move on to another girl quickly. But I am not that sure; I haven’t had a close friend or an ex-boyfriend with this venus sign yet.

Tom Cruise, Venus in Leo. img: pinterest.com
Venus in Cancer

I had an ex-boyfriend with Venus in Cancer and I thought back then that he was the sweetest thing ever. He immediately brought me to his house to meet his mother. And he also used to bring me food in my house whenever I get sick. Venus in Cancers may like hanging out with their loved one inside their homes instead of outside – but it depends on their other astrological placements. They would really fulfill your emotional needs and just love love love you that sometimes you may feel like you’re smothered. They are really sweet and caring. But this ex-boyfriend I have used to flirt with many women cheated on me lol (I have my Venus in Scorpio *wink*). I never had any problems with him except for his unfaithfulness with eventually lead to the death of our relationship.

Venus in Leo

Men with Venus in Leo are amazing! Most people think that they are amazing, charming, and attractive. And they definitely know how amazing and attractive they are too. I called two Venus in Leo men that I know as princes because there is just a regal quality to them. And they may look like princes too. I once had a suitor with this placement and it was flattering how he put me on a pedestal while he was courting me. He was also boasting to other people that he was pursuing me. I also have a close male friend with this venus sign and I really like his company. But I also noticed that they care a lot about the reputation of the woman that they are with or they are pursuing. They could drop you in a second if you have the potential of bringing negative publicity to him or to your relationship. They want a girl that they can show off to other people.

Venus in Virgo

These men are really, really, really picky. Although sometimes I am not sure whether they are picky or just insecure with themselves that’s why they make it seem like no girl is just good enough for them. I know three men with this placement and I have been friends with them. You can be a really great girl – smart, beautiful, and kind – but they would still find flaws in you. They would pick on you even though they are not that great also. The Venus in Virgo men I know are kind of delusional. They expect perfection in a partner when they themselves have too many flaws and are not that great. Sometimes I feel like they may make you feel bad through their criticisms but in reality, they are insecure of you as a potential partner so they project their own insecurities on you.

Leonardo DiCaprio, Venus in Scorpio. img: pinterest.com
Venus in Libra

(I haven’t had enough interactions with Libra Venuses yet.)

Venus in Scorpio

I haven’t had an ex-boyfriend with a Venus in Scorpio, but I know at least two men with this placement. I had a crush on them right away! And it was not a simple, lighthearted feeling – I actually felt desire (and a bit of obsession) for them for no reason at all! These men’s faces may look simple and average, but there is just something about them that is sexually appealing. You may feel like their simple gazes can penetrate deep into your soul. Or their smiles with their crooked teeth can just give you a weird feeling of desire for them. It’s easy to have a crush on Venus in Scorpios, I think. And sometimes you just don’t know why.

Venus in Sagittarius

They are CHEATERS!!! Well, maybe not all of them, but they are definitely not the type who wants commitment. They cannot be with just one woman. They just can’t. So if you are a woman and you want a serious monogamous relationship, stay away from this man. Seriously. I have one close friend and two guys I dated with this venus sign. They are definitely fun and exciting to be with, but you can’t expect them to be faithful. They love teaching you stuff, they love taking you to places, they love making you laugh – but if you firmly believe that they do that to you only – you are mistaken, you are only fooling yourself.

Marlon Brando, Venus in Taurus. img: tumblr.com
Venus in Capricorn

I don’t actually know how Venus in Capricorn operates. My father has this placement. A guy I dated for two months also has this placement. I think they are kind of cold, unexpressive, dry, and very boring. I am not sure if they are just afraid of getting hurt, but this Venus frustrates my Scorpio Venus that wants deep emotional connection. I feel like they are not interested in flings and would want a partner that is for long-term. But they are just really cold and boring that I only lasted for two months with a Venus in Capricorn. Both this guy I dated and my father were Sagittarius suns. But in spite of that, I guess the Venus in Capricorn placement can even make an exciting sun sign like a Sagittarius very serious and boring.

Venus in Aquarius

I have only interacted with two males with Venus in Aquarius but I still don’t know what to say about them since they seem detached. One of them tried to court me but they definitely feel like friends to me and I could say that they kind of lack the emotional depth that I need in a relationship.

Venus in Pisces

(I haven’t had enough interactions with Pisces Venuses yet.)

16th Century Stone Building (Dream)

Me: I had a dream last week that felt very familiar to me. I dreamt that I was in a kind of an ancient place and time; 16th century was what my dream said to me. The stone building looked tan in color and it was surrounded by water. I was living kind of happily there and I had some company. But weird things happen like a baby running very fast on the surface of the wall of the stone building. I also had a blue genie with me. I was teasing him with Christina Aguilera’s song, “Genie in a Bottle.” We were swimming in the water, but the water was shallow. It felt like I fell into the water doing some kind of stunt or trying to dive but it was not traumatizing. The people (or beings?) around me laughed at me for falling into the shallow water like that. It was kind of a happy dream but I cannot make sense of it. It seems like a time travel into the past but I am not so sure.

The stone building looked a bit like this but it was surrounded by water and it looked tanner.
Image: www.alamy.com
Lawrence: Hi A
Your last few dreams have babies in them, that means your soul wants to start brand new and live in a different place where you are now. The swimming was trying to get away from where you live and find a new place to live but the shallow water kept you from swimming away to find another living condition.
Those laughing at you are your current friends, thinking you will never move away and always be where you live, which of course is not true. As soon as you get money in life I’m sure you will move away from the area where you live and people you don’t like.

Wow. I definitely agree with that interpretation. 

Women of the Zodiac

Disclaimer: I am not an astrologer; I have only written my opinions about the females of the zodiac signs. Enjoy! ;)

Ellen Adarna. image: entertainment.inquirer.net
These girls are competitive as hell! They are naturally good-natured and innocent, but I guess they can’t help but be competitive and always be the number one. Sometimes you may feel like they are competing with you for no reason at all, and this may be annoying to girls who don’t want that. They are go-getters, they are usually successful, and most Aries girls I know don’t have confidence problems. They can be easily angered though and can act impulsively.

Maxine Medina. image: cnnphilippines.com
Taurus women are physically beautiful. Aside from having pretty faces, most of them have voluptuous bodies. They are nice to be around since they are pretty calm and collected, unless they get angered. Taurus women are very generous if they feel secure. One Taurus girl that I know loves food and is very generous with her food. Also, these girls love to relax and lie around. They don’t like changes and can also be very stubborn. Taurus women also know how to appreciate the beauty and value in other people more than any other sign. They are much grounded and you would definitely feel grounded too in their presence.

Rochelle Pangilinan. image: twitter.com
Gemini girls are fun to be around and they always have this mischievous smile. I don’t know many Gemini girls in my life, but so far I like them all! We just get along so well. It’s probably because I’m a Libra and we’re both air signs. They have this light, airy feel to them. They love expressing themselves through writing, talking, singing, etc. They’re communicative creatures. And I think they just lighten the mood with their presence because they are so lighthearted and funny.

Maureen Wrobewitz. image: twitter.com
Cancer girls are also usually beautiful, but with a different kind of beauty than Taurus women. Cancer girls have a soft and delicate beauty and they look really feminine. Cancer girls can be very nurturing and understanding, but they have a manipulative side to them. Lower-evolved Cancers can always play the victim card in order to defeat their enemies or to escape from their mistakes. I think more than the other signs, these girls use crying as a form of blackmail. Some Cancer girls that I knew get threatened when they are not the most beautiful or desirable girl in the room. If a Cancer girl is secure enough in herself to not be narcissistic (insecure Cancer girls can be catty and inconsiderate with others’ feelings), then she can be the most understanding and caring friend that you can have.

Marian Rivera. image: wattpad.com
Leo girls are charming and they literally shine like the sun when they enter a room. I only know a few Leo girls, but I noticed that they are sunny, cheerful, and positive most of the time. They are confident and love being the center of attention – and they are usually the center of attention. They know how valuable they are, they know that they are queens, and they rarely settle for less. They can have a diva attitude but it doesn’t really rub people the wrong way – their diva-ness is actually amusing. They are really kindhearted people. Leos are awesome. I love them. ;)

Iwa Moto. image: bandera.inquirer.net
Virgo girls are really critical of other people. And I have to admit, it’s really annoying. Some Virgo girls use this technique of pointing out your flaws and insecurities so you would feel inferior in their presence. It’s nasty. Some Virgo girls I know are experts at whining that listening to them is draining sometimes. Some of them also love to spread gossip about other girls as they easily spot the negative things about other people and their egos feel better whenever someone’s reputation got tarnished. I feel like since they are as critical of themselves as they are critical of others, they are the envious out of all the other signs. In my own experience, bad Virgo girls deal with their envy and insecurities by spreading nasty rumors about people. I have good Virgo friends too, so don’t take this the wrong way since I have only based what I have written from my experiences. Virgos are helpful and would go out of their way to assist you. They are nice people and there is a simplicity and cleanliness about them. They are pretty in a simple and “untainted” way. And they are really smart.

Pia Wurtzbach. image: dailypostal.com
Libra girls are vain. You all know that. Haha. I think out of all the other signs, Libra girls are the most suckers for beauty. They love being pretty, they love having a pretty boy for a boyfriend, they love cute key chains, and they love to have pretty much everything that is pleasing to the eyes. The Libra girls that you know probably have the most beauty products in the room. They may buy beauty products and cute dresses all the time. And they probably shine the most when someone acknowledges their beauty. Libra girls are usually charming and pretty, as like Taurus, they are ruled by Venus. Also, Libra girls strive for peace and harmony all the time that sometimes other people just walk all over them. But even though they always try to be nice to people, when they reach their limit, they can hold grudges for a long time. They can also be both the angel and the devil in some situations if you know what I mean. *wink*

Shaina Magdayao. image: twitter.com
Scorpio girls are powerful and they know it. They also have this magnetic quality about them. Scorpio girls are known for having a bitchiness and edginess about them, but these qualities only make them seem more mysterious and magnetic. Their bitchiness is natural to them that it’s cool to watch them be that way. Scorpio girls have amazing intuitions, and they can understand people very well. Scorpio girls just have this “something” that mysteriously draws people to them. If a Scorpio girl is pretty, that prettiness is usually coupled with sexiness. And that sexiness doesn’t have to be physical. Scorpio girls can be sexy without showing off their body. They are alluring.

Sam Pinto. image: diversityhuman.com
Sagittarius girls are jovial and adventurous. They definitely value their freedom.  Sagittarius girls are known for their comical and frank nature. They are very smart and can really make other people laugh. However, with the Sagittarius girls I know in real life, I notice that they can hide behind their jovial persona. They would still smile in front of people even if they are torn deep inside. They also tend to “escape” their problems by literally escaping. They would go on adventures in far places to get away from their problems. They have to realize that escaping from their problems would not magically make their problems disappear. They have to face them eventually.

Liza Soberano. image: beautymnl.com
Capricorn girls are real. I haven’t encountered a phony Capricorn girl yet. I personally think that they are the “what you see is what you get” types. As Capricorns are ruled by Saturn, I can see how these girls are wise beyond their age. It feels like they just understand things and they accept things as they are. They work hard to get a higher position in the society, and they do it persistently and without stepping on other people’s toes. Also, out of all my female friends, the funniest are the Capricorn girls. They definitely know how to have fun even though they are known for their seriousness in life. They also love to remind the people in their lives to straighten up, set their priorities straight, and be ambitious.

Kim Domingo. image: philnews.com
I love Aquarius girls. They are so friendly that I warm up to them right away. They are very intelligent too – they just don’t boast about it (well, most of them I think). You can tell your Aquarius girl everything that you have discovered about extraterrestrial life, the pagan rituals you secretly do, everything that can be easily judged as weird by the other signs. They probably know more about them that you lol. Almost like the Geminis, they have this airy and breezy feel to them. They feel airy, lighthearted, cool, and sometimes icy. Despite their friendliness, they can sometimes be detached and aloof. They can also be bitchy sometimes, but I guess they don’t mean it sometimes as they hate hurting people. They’re wacky and fun to be around.

Julia Barretto. image: twitter.com
My sister is a Pisces and I have a close girlfriend who is a Pisces. Pisces girls are very sweet and sensitive. If I had to choose what sign is the best among the water signs, I would pick Pisces. Pisces girls are amazing girlfriends because they can just listen to your rants for hours and look at you with understanding eyes. The mere soft look that they give you is enough to make you feel understood. They just have a knack for understanding people. They accept people and things as they are; and for having golden hearts, they are popular among their friends. They are adaptable, sweet, and you can definitely feel loved with Pisces girls. 

See also my other post about Men of the Zodiac. ;)

I Had a Baby with Daniel Padilla (Dream)

image: mediamass.net

Me: This is only a part of my long dream last night: People around me were saying that I was carrying inside my womb the baby of Daniel Padilla. Daniel Padilla is a famous actor here in the Philippines and we are of the same age. I thought it was impossible because I haven’t met him yet. But people around us were really thinking and saying that Daniel and I were expecting a child. Then, I’m not sure if I gave birth, but I think I did not, I suddenly was holding a baby that people were saying was mine. Daniel Padilla went to me and the baby because people are saying that we have a child together. He also believed other people even though we were both confused. I felt like I was holding a baby that was not really mine. I forgot what happened with me and the baby but it was eventually taken away from me and I did not care because I found out that I lost my white bag.

Lawrence: This one is easy. It means you want to be involved with someone famous in life and live through them, the baby is related to someone famous rather than someone you love. Being famous might be more important to you than love alone. It can also mean you can get pregnant from someone you don’t really love in real life. That's the best I can give you x

Me: O.O I hope not… I really want to stand on my own two feet…

Ilustrado by Miguel Syjuco (Quotes)

Image: goodreads.com

“Clichés remind and reassure us that we’re not alone, that others have trod this ground long ago.”

“Eroticism, after all, exists to break life’s monotony.”

“It kills me how these days everyone has clinical justification for their strangeness.”

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m not angry with my grandfather. To be angry implies you care. I just feel sorry for him.”

“The act of hearing a familiar punch line, the ensuing moan of corniness, that’s all unifying. Jokes are as palliative as a proverb. Without them, we wouldn’t understand ourselves.”

“I love the new freedom of life without Madison, not having to call to tell her I’ve arrived safely, my reassurances met with inordinate tears that made me feel both wanted and burdened. Independence is bliss. It really is.”

“I thought, perhaps, my independence had earned their respect.”

“Ever since I was little, he liked to remind me that his wealth came from knowing how to save.”

“A writer has to talk about things that go untalked about.”

“If you have to hide something, then you shouldn’t have done it in the first place.”

“Love isn’t based on gratitude. Respect isn’t based on debt. I’m not your constituent.”

“You hate that I’m independent. That you can’t control me.”

“I held back. I wanted to hurt him, but not that way. A man’s life is all he has. When you’re old, it’s all you’ll ever have.”

“If I become a politician, either I’ be corrupted by the compromises I’d be forced to make, or I’d be shot for my ideals.”

“Modern Manila. She who once was the Pearl of the Orient is now a worn dowager, complete with the hump, the bunions, the memories of the Charleston stepped to the imported and flawlessly imitated melodies of King Oliver, the caked-on makeup and the lipstick smeared in thick stripes beyond the thin, pursed lips. She, the trusting daughter of East and West, lay down and was destroyed, her beauty carpet-bombed by her liberators, cautious of her own casualties, her ravishment making her kindred to Hiroshima, Stalingrad, Warsaw. And yet, from the air you think her peaceful and unflustered. On the ground is a place tangled with good intentions and a tyrannical will to live. Life works with the Lord’s benevolence and a generous application of duct tape and Filipino ingenuity. Five hundred years ago Spanish conquistadors sailed their wooden ships into the world’s most perfect harbor to begin their mission of, as historians say, God, gold, and guns; their walled fortress is still there, as is their religion and blood, but the gold they, and others, took with them, or apportioned among their native deputies. Manila has changed much since. It’s changed so little. If you know where to look, this is the most exciting city in the world.”

“…I thought he was running away from something by living abroad.”

“A man with battered hands is shown to be a craftsman only when he puts them to work.”

“Knowing what is happening doesn’t mean you can do anything to stop it.”

“Whatever they may say, your story is truly your own. You have a responsibility to it, the way a father has to a child.”

“A father must take credit for his child, but never a child for his father.”

“But with very little imagination, I can see the sort of life she had, for Bacolod is a place of constancies. That must be reassuring for those who live and die here.”

“Sure, we’d grown up with Grapes’s stories of how Marcelo was given the best of educations only to become a struggling artist who chose to be, of all things, a security guard – one of the lowest rungs in our society – because it allowed him to write and sketch while on duty.”

“You think these people in this country understand art? Half can’t write their names. Still we let them vote.”

“I see. You have such a soft voice. Are you a seminarian?”

“She was less than half his age. Everyone was in absolute horror at how he would corrupt her. Because, oh my, she was so curious. Oh my, so blond. Oh my, so pristine. But she corrupted him! It’s not age that corrupts, it’s youth.”

“So my father was very angry. As usual, he took it out on poor Narcisito. He treated him worse than the neighbor’s dog. Narcisito gave Papa his whole life. But because he did, he could never get Papa’s approval.”

“One thing you’ll learn when you get older is that when you hate someone so much, a part of you wants desperately to forgive them. But you can’t decide if it’s because you really want to, or if you just want to stop hating. I still don’t know if forgiveness is generous or selfish. Maybe both.”

“Then the kids get to a certain age and the light dulls in their eyes.”

“I don’t know why those men and women just can’t control themselves. I did. I think it’s like animals. Bless them all, but still. Shirley says that many children ensure a family of helping hands. I don’t know about that.”

“I don’t really miss Madison. I don’t have any regrets. I know everything ends, eventually. Another obvious statement is that, usually, when things are done and dusted, you can’t make sense of them. She was the love of my life until suddenly she wasn’t.”

“I think you’ll find even literature has limitations.”

“Limitations keep us striving.”

“Maybe maturity – he thinks – is merely accepting the tally of all the disappearing options of life.”

“When you get to my age, the most insignificant memories take on significance. Unrationalized blame, casual kindness, random gestures – one day you just need to tell someone about them.”

“Anyway, I always wanted to use my memory of that tiger for a short story, or a scene in a novel. But some things are better kept in the past.”

“Every teenager is both a hero and a failure. When we become adults we have to choose where in the middle we’ll be.”

“Then we’d…have excellent sex that we mistook for love.”

“You can’t trust a whiner. You can hear in their voices their hidden motives.”

“We knew it was weird. But it wasn’t gross. It was just, you know, the circle of life.”

“At the heart of every story is a love triangle.”

“These are the literati of the Philippines: the merry, mellowed, stalwartly middle-class practitioners of the luxury of literature in the language of the privileged.”

“A writer writing about sex won’t get anybody pregnant.”

“The truth is, if you want to write something that will elicit change, you have to be a journalist.”

“Break out the homophobia! Always the Filipino way when they’re jealous.”

“I, like, try to write poetry. And short stories. But I wouldn’t call myself a writer. Not yet. I need to live first.”

“Her tears always told me I mattered. When you’re young, a lovers’ quarrel is the sharpest thing in the world. And I loved it. I twisted things around, milked her anguish, to be on the receiving end of her regret.”

“How do such flaws become beautiful in the right person?”

Raqel: “Why can’t Filipino men stay monogamous, I don’t get it. Like dogs on the street.”
Effy: “Because of their wives, that’s why.”

“In the end, somebody else will be telling the truth, and it will all be different.”

“Lord, how could you go out with white women? White women don’t use water to wipe their bottoms after they use the toilet.”

“You know, Miguel, how these maids are. So hard to find good ones, and tougher to train. You have to tell them thrice how to do everything. Once so that they can forget it, twice so they can get it wrong, three times so they are reminded how to do it correctly.”

“My cousin was from one of those rich Bacolod families. Like the Salvadors. All incestuous, everyone related, to keep the money and fair skin in the family. Bad teeth, lazy. He had a third nipple or something. Spoiled as a prince. What kind of kingdom do you inherit there, anyway?”

“Darling, stop making chismis like that. Only boors talk about other people, because they have nothing else interesting to say.”

“Toofy, please. Don’t text at the table. Miguel, please excuse my son, ha? He has cellulitis.”

“Martial, communism, violent social instability, loss of foreign investment, all were used to distract the public from its valid protestations, second thoughts, and objections. Concerns like empty larders, pillaged coffers, debauched leaders, all became third priority to bombs in the streets and guns in the hands of the godless commies or the godfueled Muslims.”

“Leon Maria Guerrero once told me, ‘We Filipinos owe our faults to others, but our virtues are our own.’ At first I wasn’t sure whether he was being sincere or sarcastic. It can only be the latter.”

“Angst is not the human condition, it’s the purgatory between what we have and what we want but can’t get.”

“Don’t forget, Miguel, wise men are simply those who’ve made all the mistakes.”

“I made a mistake. When I was young, I spent my days and nights trying to impress future generations. I spent them. They’re gone. All because I was deathly afraid of being forgotten. And then came the regret. The worst thing among all worst things. But from that I gained a small fragment of wisdom. Purpose. Because the past will weigh a lot more once your future becomes shorter.”

“You must learn this while you are still young. Live in the crux of the present. And write to explain the world to yourself and to others. Look forward only to the summer of your first convertible. Look forward only if what’s in front of you is a mirror. Because one day you’ll be so busy looking backward, and everything will feel like winter. If you still don’t get it, pare, let me make it abundantly clear. Just write, and write justly. Ezra Pound be damned. Poets lie, though beautifully. Don’t make things new, make things whole.”

“The appearance of virtue is more important than virtue itself.”

“She’s out in the world, making it her own. What more can a person ask for? Freedom is the only thing we must demand in life, for all other good things stem from it.”

“When you’re unhappy with your life, you become more selfish with it.”

“Simple pleasure, you’ll one day, conclude, are the most enduring.”

“Photography, child, is about the passing of time. Capturing is the goal of literature. Timelessness is the task of music and painting. But a good photograph holds time just as a vase holds water. The water will evaporate and the vase becomes memorial to it. What separates a snapshot from a masterpiece is that the latter is a metaphor for patience.”

“You were dead long before you left this world.”

“Sometimes one waits too long for the perfect moment before snapping the picture. You never realize that all you needed was to change perspective.”

“I know that it’s not a competition – and if it was, I’d win by default by simply not caring. And so I try not to care. How can someone try not to care?”

“The balimbing, known in Spanish as the carambola and in English as the star fruit, is a grass green to a straw yellow fruit with almost luminescent, rubbery flesh. Growing to about four inches long, it has five longitudinal angular lobes and, when sliced, its pieces form perfect star shapes. The fruit tastes tart and clean and contains iron, vitamins B and C, oxalate, and potassium. A poultice of its leaves is often used to treat ringworm, while a tea of its seeds is a tonic for asthma and intestinal gas. Due to the fruit’s many sides, or faces, the term ‘balimbing’ is often used disparagingly to refer to politicians and traitors, though in my mind it can also refer to the versatile, Janus-like character  of the Filipino. While our national fruit is officially the mango, arbitrarily mandated by the Americans during their occupation, it is not a long bow to draw to propose the balimbing as the country’s unofficial fruit, due to its metaphoric significance.”

“The deepest regrets are the most personal. If I haven’t sufficiently shared it via my writing, then maybe it should remain unspoken.”

“I tell you, even when you hate your parents, you still end up defending them to the end. It’s a hopeful act more than it is dutiful or conciliatory. The truth is that the disappointment you feel toward your parents testifies to the excess of faith you always had in them.”

“They feuded only as former best friends can.”

“I think we’re such a good match. I’d never felt that with Madison. With Madison it was almost as if need brought us together and exhaustion kept us that way.”

“Quiet defiance is louder than angry shouts.”

“If there’s one thing the masses are, it’s reliable.”

“Poor little rich boy. A side must be taken. If you choose your own, you side with oppression, fratricide, indifference – you will never be content among your own. Rich little poor boy. If you side with the others, you choose treason, patricide, betrayal – you will never be accepted among those unlike you. Religion taught you to revere the family. Education taught you to value the majority over the few.”

“Patience, however, is just another name for inaction.”

“If you want to fight corruption, baby, you have to start with yourself.”

“But sometimes, courage is really just cowardice. Sometimes the bravest thing is to let go.”
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